


Blown Away

by Tesria



Series: Blown Away [1]
Category: Seduce Me (Visual Novel)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, complex PTSD, it takes a while to get to that, it's probably mature but I rated it explicit just in case, the explicit rating is only for the sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2018-12-30 06:16:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 82,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12102567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tesria/pseuds/Tesria
Summary: Mika's dad is a problem, and it doesn't take the boys long to notice.Following the events of the game, and beyond, this is an exploration of the mental and emotional effect Mika's father has had on her - (mainly) through the eyes of others.





	1. I Opened Up the Door to a Worn Out Face, One Side Darker Than the Other

**Author's Note:**

  * For [preciousbunnynoiz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/gifts).



> So. This is my first fic in FOREVER. Seriously, the last time I completed even a chapter of something, AO3 didn’t even exist. How has this amazing tiny fandom inspired me so hard? HOW?
> 
> Ahem. Anyway, I was going to wait until I'd finished the whole thing before starting to post, but I passed 50k total words yesterday and I honestly don't know how much longer this is going to go for. I might end up doing only another 3 chapters before reaching an end I'm okay with, but... Probably not. This is a beast that just keeps growing. I've actually skimmed over a lot of scenes that are straight from the game, rather than writing them out word for word. It felt clunky when I tried to write them out, so, apologies. I've also screwed around with timeline, and events get further and further away from the game canon as the fic goes on. I've gone back and edited things myself, but this is technically unbeta'd. If I find a beta, posting may slow as I go back and fix things.
> 
> However, huge, HUGE thanks are due to to Preciousbunnynoiz for cheerleading and encouragement. Without her, I'd probably have never got past chapter 2. I'd certainly never have had the nerve to post it. So blame her, I guess? 
> 
> The story title and chapter titles are all from songs about (or referencing) domestic abuse. Most of them are very powerful. Some of them are about pain and loss, others revenge, or moving on. Not all of them are about parent/child abuse, but many themes of abuse carry across sub-categories: e.g. the fear, the anxiety, the feelings of worthlessness.
> 
> The main title is named for Carrie Underwood's "Blown Away."
> 
> I'm done now, so you can actually read this thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika meets the boys, they start to notice things are off right away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter's title comes from "The Door" by J.J. Essen.
> 
> Content note! Tags weren't ideal for listing everything in the story, so for those who want them, there's some detailed content notes for whole fic at the end of this chapter.

Mika stared up at the doors to her grandfather’s house. The fear of being left here to fend for herself warred with the twisting in her chest, a mix of grief and a deep, guilt-ridden anxiety that she’d failed somehow. Her father was angry that the house had been left to her, but leaving her here the very next day? Abandoning her to prove herself or fail? It was a test, and she was sure she wasn’t meant to pass it.

The key felt clunky in the old lock, but turned smoothly. Despite the windows needing a good clean, and the weeds peeking through the grass, the structure of the house was obviously in good condition. That was a relief. She couldn’t imagine what she’d have done if the roof was leaking or…

The marble lobby she remembered from her childhood was covered in red. Red was the first thing she saw, and she wondered faintly if her grandfather had been murdered and no one had thought to mention it to her. No. Not her grandfather. There were bodies here, piled together on the floor. Five of them, her mind helpfully supplied, continuing to run on while most of her stood in frozen shock. Were they dead? She heard herself asking them who they were, as if they could reply, and something about the police… But it was still sort of distant. She should call the police though, right? That was something she should do.

One of the bodies began to move, and by the time she made herself blink to be sure she wasn’t imagining it, a man was standing directly in front of her. He was really quite attractive, if you ignored the bleeding.

“Woman.” 

And if you ignored his manners, apparently.

“You are going to let me kiss you.”

What? Of course not! Don’t be ridic-

“Uh… Sure.”

Wait, had she just said yes? What the...? _Why?_

His mouth was on hers before she could reel herself in, and she found herself melting despite the abrupt introduction and the slight dryness of his lips. A gentle wave of heat washed through her, and a small sound escaped, thankfully countered by his own hum of pleasure. It helped to know she wasn’t the only one enjoying it.

There was another voice, telling him to stop, and when he reluctantly pulled away she was seriously worried she’d fall forward trying to chase his mouth. Thankfully, she couldn’t move at all. Who knew that being frozen in place would be the better option?

When she looked back on it later, the rest of that afternoon seemed to be a blur of confusion, spotted with snapshots that stood out in stark relief against the backdrop of _what the fuck?_ She remembered being corrected on the plural term for incubi. She remembered another kiss from a man with dark copper hair, gentle, but with every bit as much heat as the first. She remembered remembering that first kiss, and socking ‘Sam’ in the jaw. Twice. She remembered his awkward expression as he’d apologised. 

She didn’t remember much else until she’d woken up in what would become her bedroom with a quiet, ginger-haired man, who sat ready to reassure her with soft-spoken words and apologies. He’d even carried her downstairs when her knees gave out. 

Maybe these nutcases weren’t so bad after all.

***

It hadn’t taken the brothers long to notice that things weren’t all rosy in the life of Mika Anderson. They’d barely finished introductions, in fact, when James was the first to see the signs.

“Ah, are you alright? There seems to be a small bruise on your cheek.”

The sudden question from James abruptly robbed Mika of the ability to speak. There she was, surrounded by incubi of all things, and _this_ was what made her stutter? She scrambled to answer as quickly as she could. 

“O-oh, I’m fine!” Mentally cringing at how completely unconvincing she sounded, she berated herself for making it so obvious. Clumsy. She was just clumsy that’s all. On the rare occasions she hadn’t been able to cover a bruise in the past, even Suzu and Naomi had no trouble believing her klutziness was to blame. They’d seen her trip enough times, after all.

Damien, sensing the panicked rush of thoughts, began frowning at her. Thankfully he was out of her eyeline, so she didn’t feel the need to explain further. James didn’t need to see his brother’s expression to know something was up though, and leaned down to see the bruise better. He’d seen his fair share, living under his father’s rule, and despite the bruise only being faintly visible, he judged it more likely to have been purposefully inflicted rather than being the result of an accident. The particular placement, if nothing else, looked like the result of a blow. 

“Hm… Well, if you’re having any problems, I’m always here to listen.”

She thanked him quickly, glad to be moving on, and tried to turn her focus to the food they’d prepared for her.

Only a few minutes had passed before flag number two was raised. For Damien, at least. Mika had excused herself to speak to her mother on the phone, and curiosity - not to mention an edge of self-preservation around a girl who seemed sweet, but was unknown to them - stopped him from trying to distract himself from her thoughts. It was always harder with new ‘voices’ anyway; he’d learned to let his brothers’ thoughts be familiar background noise over the years, so he could let them wash over him without them demanding his attention. Oh, he still heard everything, but he was used to them. New voices took some time to adjust to and stood out quite noticeably. It had been a while since he’d felt this particular knot in his stomach at overhearing a conversation, though. 

_So there was food there_. Mika’s own thoughts seemed entirely resigned, merely letting her mother’s words echo through her head with a sad kind of acceptance that made Damien’s throat feel tight. He was unaware of James’s eyes on him as he thought about the times he himself had gone without food. Sure, they were in a big fancy house, but the castle had been big and fancy, too, and he knew that plenty of residents went without food there. She seemed so young, even for a human. How was it that she was left to fend for herself?

The rising anxiety in her mental voice brought his attention back to what was happening. She’d just moved here. Alone. One day after a funeral. He didn’t think this was how humans usually behaved, from what he’d seen, and with Mika’s incredulity that she was supposed to plan a party of all things, he felt like his assumptions weren’t far from the mark.

_I know. I have to do it myself. He won’t help._ What on earth was going on?

He forced his frown away as he heard the call end, and was happy to answer Erik for her so she didn’t have to explain. Her surprise at Damien answering for her was only brief, and the very small smile she sent his way seemed to convey gratitude for helping her to explain the mess she was in. Or maybe that was just something he was reading into, since there were no overt thoughts on anything but what would need to be done before the party.

When she confessed she would have to stay up all night preparing everything, Matthew jumped right in to offer to help, and not for the first time Damien wished he could send thoughts as well as hear them, so he could thank his brother. This girl needed all the support she could get, he could feel it. He recognised it.

Not that Sam seemed to notice, as he grumbled quietly about reasons not to help. Damien sent him a mild glare that also went entirely unnoticed. Regardless, James promised her their assistance, and the smile of relief she gave them all even shut Sam up.

He couldn’t say anything about it to his brothers until she went to bed. That turned out to be only a few minutes later, while Damien was still debating whether to say anything at all. James preempted him, however.

“Damien? Do you know what’s going on?”

Sighing, Damien shook his head and decided he may as well tell them what little he knew. “I know she came here alone tonight, and her mother didn’t even know if there was anything she could eat waiting for her. Her thoughts around her father seem… Frustrated. But apprehensive, too.”

“Did you pick up anything when I asked about her bruise?” James continued, already looking thoughtful.

“Only that she was surprised you’d seen it, and she kept thinking that she was clumsy. Like she was reminding herself,” he added, his tone a little bit harder. “Her friends always believe her.”

That there was a question of belief made four of the brothers share a significant look between them. Sam, meanwhile, glowered at the table, picking apart the food still on his on his plate in a way that suggested he’d lost his appetite. 

“What did I tell you about humans? They piss on each other for no reason.” 

“While our father was the model of a loving parent?” Erik asked lightly.

“Our father’s a sadistic fuck who likes conquering his way across the Abyssal Plains,” Sam pointed out irritably. “Hers is just some guy.”

“There’s no reason ‘some guy’ can’t be just as bad to his own family,” Damien pointed out. “Whether he’s human or demon.”

Sam didn’t reply, mostly because he already agreed with that. He always complained when he was pissed off about something and didn’t know what to do about it, and that apparently already extended to the situation this human girl was in. Damien would have offered him a smile of understanding, if he’d looked up from his plate. Sam was never as uncaring as he seemed.

“It was just one bruise,” Matthew offered hopefully, before remembering: “Except that she’s had to make excuses to her friends before.” He looked dejected and as uninterested in finishing the food as Sam was. “Can we help her?”

“I don’t know,” James replied, his frown belying his even tone. “I suppose that depends if she wants help.” 

“Of course she wants help,” Sam snapped. “If she doesn’t, she needs it anyway.” 

“What are you going to do, attack her father when he comes here?” Erik replied, an elegant eyebrow arching in condescending disbelief. 

“Maybe I should!”

“No, Sam.” James sighed. “I don’t think that would help.”

“I don’t see how it wouldn’t,” Sam groused.

“Why don’t we wait and see what happens at the party?” Matthew offered. “We can keep an eye on her dad when he’s here, make sure we’re not overreacting.” 

James nodded. “That’s a good idea. We need a better idea of the situation.” 

Sam waggled his head back and forth slightly, curling his lip and doing an impression of James’s ‘I’m so sensible’ voice under his breath. It might have made Damien laugh, in another situation.

“Let’s clean up and go to bed,” James continued, ignoring Sam. “I’ll make a list of what needs doing and we can talk about it over breakfast in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content notes:
> 
> In the game it’s sort of up to interpretation just how bad Mika’s dad is. This story will, I hope, be unambiguous: he's abusive. So, because some of us like to know what we're getting into, here's the run down: this fic will contain references to emotional abuse/control from father to daughter, almost none of which will actually be 'on screen'. What you will see are the effects of the abuse on Mika herself - including some not-great coping mechanisms, panic attacks, and anxiety - and you'll mainly see them through what the boys are seeing, rather than being 'inside her head'. The boys notice, try to figure out what to do/how to help (and don't always agree with each other, or get it right - if there even is a right way to handle it). I've tried to go subtle and drip-feed the signs rather than dive headfirst into angst, though sometimes it does become more obvious.
> 
> Anyway, if you’re sensitive to issues around abuse, read with caution. If any chapter gets particularly heavy I intend to put an extra warning at the top, but overall there will be themes around self-esteem, personal boundaries, trust, and other issues that come from growing up as she did. There are also likely to be issues with the way the boys all handle it, since none of them are precisely the picture of emotional health either.


	2. Those Damaged Goods You See in Your Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday! Nightmare, breakfast, and party prep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Broken Girl” by Matthew West.

The morning turned out to be no less complicated than the evening before. 

James and Damien were halfway through preparing breakfast when Damien heard the girl having a nightmare, her helpless terror practically screaming through his mind. No, not a nightmare. Or not _just_ a nightmare, at least. “Malix.” He turned wide blue eyes to the door just as Erik came sauntering through. “Malix is in her dream. Help her.”

Without wasting time on questions, Erik immediately turned around and went to lie down in the living room, since the sofas in there were much closer than his bed. Willing himself into the world of sleep and dreams would only take a moment, but Damien was already rushing up the steps to be there for her in person, in case she needed it. James, ever careful, made sure nothing would burn during his absence before following his youngest brother upstairs. 

Damien’s unassuming presence seemed to soothe the girl easily enough, and James expertly redirected her towards thoughts of breakfast before she could dwell on her dream too much. She seemed to shake it off when she smelled breakfast, but James could tell from Damien’s expression that she wasn’t quite as cheerful as she seemed when they left her sitting at the table. 

Distracted as he was, Damien didn’t hear Sam until he was already walking into the dining room, when it was too late to catch him. He had wanted explain about the nightmare and ask Sam to go easier on the girl this morning, but now Damien just had to hope, and finish preparing breakfast as quickly as possible so he could join them.

“You said Malix was in her dream?” James asked quietly, getting back to work. 

Damien frowned and nodded, then shook his head in contradiction. “Not literally. No one but Erik was really there.”

“So how could she know about him then?” The frown on James’s face deepened as he started putting food out onto plates.

“There’s a lot of magic here. Maybe our subconscious worries are filtering through to her?” Damien sounded thoughtful rather than sure, but before James could ask him anything else, Sam’s voice came shouting through from the dining room, demanding breakfast. 

One of these days, James was really going to have to teach his brother some civilised manners.

***

As it turned out, Sam hadn’t needed a warning. He’d stepped into the dining room and immediately noticed the way Mika’s shoulders were hunched in tension; plus, he’d know a shudder of fear anywhere. He found himself hoping that the fear wasn’t about him and his brothers. They weren’t that scary, were they? Not to anyone who didn’t have it coming. 

She jumped a little when he rested his hand on her head, despite him trying to be gentle, but when she looked up at him she didn’t look scared. Not of him, at any rate. Startled, maybe, but not afraid. Considering how last night had gone, he found himself relieved that her fear wasn’t directed at him.

“Morning. You alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Her answer came too quickly, and she was terrible at keeping her feelings from her face, but after raising an eyebrow at her Sam let it go. If she didn’t want to talk about it, he was the last person to push. Still, he ruffled her hair before sitting down, intending it as reassurance. Or something. Whatever.

“HEY! IS THE FOOD DONE YET?! I’M STARVING!”

His shout got little more than an alarmed blink from Mika at first, but as James shouted back to tell him off for yelling, her lips twitched into something approaching a smile.

“YOU’RE YELLING TOO!” Sam shot back, and grinned as Mika’s smile blossomed into genuine amusement. His work here was done.

Erik was less impressed, rubbing away signs of a headache as he sat down on the other side of Mika. “Can we not yell this early in the morning? It’s not like we’re in the castle.”

“CASTLE?!” Mika’s shocked squeak got a smug smirk from Sam.

“Yeah, we have a castle back home. Our dining room’s ten times bigger than this room.” He kind of liked it when her eyes got all wide like that. He did like to impress, after all. He didn’t get that look often in this world, he mostly just got scowled at. Though thinking about it, that wasn’t much different to back home, actually. 

“Then wouldn’t it be logical to _not_ yell?” Erik’s complaints were waved aside as James and Damien brought breakfast through.

They’d barely settled in to eat when Mika’s phone blared a pop-rock ringtone. He’d been too distracted to notice the song when her mom had called the night before, but now he had, Sam found himself surprised that this reserved little never-been-kissed liked music with a little bit of edge to it. Sure, it wasn’t like she was listening to heavy metal, but he’d have assumed boy band or some other kind of unbearably saccharine crap he’d heard on the radio. Huh.

A few moments after Mika had answered the phone, there was a knock on the door. Unfortunately, Sam and his super speed were occupied with food rather than what was happening, and he didn’t even register Matthew’s offer to open the door until it was too late even for him to stop the little idiot. 

***

Once James had explained everything, Suzu and Naomi seemed pleasant enough. Mika was pleased to see them, despite the hiccup with Matthew answering the door, and her smile helped all the brothers relax. The two girls seemed so unsurprised at the demands placed on Mika though, that Damien couldn’t help but frown. This kind of thing must happen a lot. Their offer to help reminded him of the times his brothers had tried to protect him, as did her refusal. So many times he’d not wanted to burden his brothers with his problems. 

Her gratitude that she was able to let her friends enjoy their day whispered through her mind, but Damien wasn’t surprised that Mika didn’t leave with them. She’d wanted to on some level, certainly, but the responsibility she held in her mind over her father’s demands outweighed her desire to relax. Damien had a feeling that was often the case. She did know, at least, that her father was asking a lot from her, but she was driven to do the best she could to fulfil it anyway, and maybe he’d be happy with her. Or at least, not angry.

Again, Damien found her thoughts all too familiar, though he’d long since resigned himself to never doing anything _but_ making his father angry. Not that his father mattered anymore, since coming here. For all its trials, the human world had been a salvation to all of them, most especially him.

Sam’s surprise at Mika’s decision to stay and help almost made Damien laugh, though. He wondered what others saw without her determination to take responsibility for everything constantly echoing through their minds. He doubted very much Mika would ever fit Erik’s nickname for her, despite being the mistress of the house.

“I’ll do the cooking!” Matthew had volunteered immediately, to no one’s surprise. Sam’s announcement that he’d take the front yard wasn’t particularly surprising, either, given his general dislike of household chores. Erik was confident that no one could set up the dining room as well as he could, naturally, which left the back garden and the lobby. Damien knew almost nothing about gardens, so the lobby was obviously his task for the day.

He hadn’t expected Mika to choose to help him, though, and seeing her pick up a duster _was_ a surprise. A pleasant one, certainly, and he found himself feeling a warmth in his chest as he got back to work. She’d chosen to spend time with him, voluntarily, over James or Erik, or anyone. He wasn’t used to being anyone’s first choice. When her thoughts turned playful, it was all too easy to let himself be talked into something he would never have _dared_ at the castle. Sliding down a rail? That was something Sam or Matthew might have pulled, but never Damien. Which was a shame because it turned out it really _was_ fun, even with a crash landing! 

He was a little concerned about Mika’s blushing (not that he was much better), and her hurried excuse that she needed to go and make sure Sam was actually doing what he was supposed to. But her thoughts weren’t angry or upset, she just needed a little time to collect herself. He could relate to that.

It didn’t seem to work though, as she came back inside a few minutes later, blushing even harder and silently berating herself for being the ‘clumsiest idiot in the world’. Head down as she made her way directly to the kitchen, she seemed far too focused on her goal for Damien to want to interrupt her. He didn’t quite catch what had put her in this mood, but was more concerned anyway with the way she was telling herself off over a little clumsiness. What had she done that was so terrible, though? _He_ certainly hadn’t minded having her fall into his arms.

Blushing at his own thoughts, Damien quickly returned to dusting.


	3. All Your Expectations Bury Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> House warming party, and an uninvited guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Perfect Girl” by Sarah McLachlan.
> 
> Content note: This chapter has her dad in it, and does involve one (non-canon) incident that lasts for about one line.

It was almost time for the party, and Mika’s anxiously racing thoughts were enough to set Damien on edge from halfway across the house. 

“Seriously, if you don’t stop tapping your foot I’m going to break it off.”

“ _Sam_.” Matthew’s plea only achieved an eyeroll in response, but Sam did at least shut up for the moment.

“What’s wrong, Damien?” Leave it to James to ask the important question. “I know you don’t like crowds, but-”

“She’s panicking,” Damien admitted shortly. “Well, she’s trying not to. She’s telling herself that she’ll be okay, that she can be better than his expectations. But she doesn’t really believe it.”

“She’ll be fine,” Sam spoke up again. “It’s just a house party, right? I mean, we can keep things from getting out of hand, easy.”

“I don’t think she’s worried people are going to get too drunk, Sam.” James sighed, frowning up at the stairs as they waited for Mika to appear. “She’s worried what will happen if she breaks any of a hundred little rules he’ll have in place and expect her to follow.” Damien’s concerned gaze shifted to his eldest brother, who immediately dismissed what he’d said, along with any thoughts Damien could follow. “Or perhaps she’s simply over-thinking it. It is her first party to host by herself, that has to be somewhat stressful.”

Damien opened his mouth to speak, but something drew his attention back to the stairs. “She’s coming.”

All five brothers looked up, waiting for her to appear.

When she finally did, Damien could only separate his own thoughts from his brothers’ by the way they were phrased.

_Holy shit. She really cleans up nice._ Sam.

_Oh… Wow. Um. Words. Words are things._ Matthew.

_Stunning._ The simplest response was often from James, who could pack a wealth of meaning into tone and inflection.

_She really does look like a Princess._ Erik, naturally.

Though, Damien had to agree this time. Mika didn’t have the superior attitude to match the princesses and queens he’d seen, but she absolutely had the grace and beauty as she descended the stairs towards them in a gorgeous red dress that hugged every curve. Damien wasn’t entirely sure he remembered how to breathe.

“As beautiful as a princess, miss.” James summed up all their reactions with his usual perfect manners. Mika’s blush and stammered thanks made it entirely unnecessary to be able to read her mind. She was _not_ used to compliments, or being looked at with such admiration, and she had no idea what to do with any of it. 

Damien tried to think of something to say to take her mind off it, but James beat him to it. He always knew the right thing to say. Damien often envied him that. “So, are you prepared for tonight?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she answered, lifting her chin a little since she was no longer trying to hide a blush.

Damien thought he caught Sam grinning at her, but when he glanced over Sam looked as unimpressed with everything as he ever did. Still, the others were smiling at Mika reassuringly, and Damien did too, trying to catch her eye so she’d know he would be keeping an eye out for her. Or more accurately an ear. Well, not literally, but he’d be listening in case she needed help.

Her smile dropped as she checked her phone, already anticipating the doorbell before it rang. _Always on time._ Anxiety seemed to fill the room, enough that even Sam noticed, but James’s warning look kept them all quiet. They couldn’t assume anything, and she hadn’t asked for their help.

Swallowing nervously, Mika stepped towards the doors, but Erik and Sam beat her to it. They’d all discussed individual jobs earlier, and these two were tasked with making sure her parents didn’t see anything unusual in five strange men living with their young daughter. A fact they should probably have mentioned to Mika, given her obvious surprise when both of her parents seemed entirely okay with the situation. Thankfully, she was clever enough to figure it out, and didn’t say anything.

Damien could almost see her cringe though, when her father shrugged off the servants as ‘belongings’. Thankfully, her mother broke the awkward silence to sweep her daughter up in a hug. The sight relaxed everyone watching. Her father clearly had a stick up his ass, but her mother seemed, well. Motherly. All of them knew how much a loving mother could help in situations like this. 

It was Sam who looked again though, when Mika’s father had to be prompted to comment. Damien caught a burst of irritation that the man had to be pushed into saying something. _You know this isn’t right._ That thought seemed directed at Mrs. Anderson, though attention quickly switched to David. _It’s not like_ she’s _a spare, you dick. Pay attention!_ There was a sense of familiarity with the situation from Sam that Damien knew it was best to ignore. Sam wouldn’t thank him for prying or poking, especially now.

Mika was waiting for the verdict with a stoic expression that just looked _wrong_ on her face. Damien was already sorely missing the smiling girl who slid down the bannister without thinking about her landing, and he could sense that Matthew was thinking much the same. Even Sam was thinking about how much bullshit it was that the man even stopped to think about his reply, and… Did he nudge with his powers again? Damien couldn’t be sure.

Whether he had or not, Mika’s blank shock that her father would unreservedly compliment her almost broke Damien’s heart. He didn’t think he was alone, from the slight frowns his brothers all wore. If Sam _had_ nudged Mr. Anderson towards kindness, Damien vowed to never let her know that. If a single compliment meant so much to her, he could never take that away.

Sadly, her father’s beneficence didn’t last.

Even though she’d been half-expecting it, the news that she’d be sucking up to the company board all night for a job she didn’t want seemed to hit her hard. Her face stayed remarkably blank, but the incubi could all see the tension that had been starting to ease off return almost tight enough to snap. 

Damien wasn’t the only one fighting his composure when she looked to them for reassurance. In fact, he was fairly sure James was subtly using his influence to remind them all to keep still, even as he struggled with it himself. Thankfully her friends were under no such restrictions, and were able to give her an encouraging thumbs up. 

As the guests arrived, the incubi scattered to do the jobs they’d been assigned. Mika was clearly stressed, but in no immediate danger from the barrage of questions, so there was no need for the brothers to do more than keep an eye on her from a distance.

Mrs. Anderson introducing Mika to yet another guest didn’t get special notice from any of them, even if he was much closer to her age. Though James did take notice when the boy kissed her hand. _I’m just making sure she’s not uncomfortable._ Damien heard the thought and tried not to smile too much as he offered an elegant, silver-haired woman another drink. James could be more protective than Sam, at times.

The arrival of Mika’s father to the conversation changed things though, as he seemed to drop the temperature of the lobby with just his approach. Damien was stuck where he was, but Matthew was able to overhear properly from where he was standing. Outwardly he was completely calm, but Damien could clearly hear his anxiety. _Oh crap. Ohcrapohcrapohcrap. What should I do?_

When the young man left, Mika followed. Matthew glanced at Damien, purposefully sharing his worry that she’d be out of their sight. Thankfully, Sam had good timing, walking between them on his way to the kitchen. Matthew was able to catch his attention and murmur a few words. A nod of acknowledgement from their brother let the younger two breathe easier.

Sam thought they were probably worrying for nothing, but when he got to the kitchen he realised he’d have a perfect view of her and the human kid out by the gazebo, if he went to the utility room off to the side. He also realised he had an excuse not to go straight back out to the party. That worked for him.

Although, that kid was being awfully friendly, and she was out there with him on her own. Dammit, why couldn’t he hear what they were saying? Maybe Damien could tell him. Except that Damien was busy which is why Sam was here in the first place. Gah. He was scowling out the window at the two of them before he even noticed her father joining them. Oh, crap. Well, at least he could move fast if he had to.

The kid was coming back inside with his tail between his legs, and Sam almost managed a smirk before he realised that meant Mika was outside with her father. Alone. Nice one, Sam. Dammit, what was he supposed to do?

His mind was made up for him when her dickbag of a father grabbed her wrist. Sam couldn’t hear the argument from here, but her frightened expression made him growl anyway. He turned to head for the door until he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s okay, he’s coming back inside.” 

Sam frowned up at James. “Like hell it is, did you see-”

“Yes, I did.” There was a tic in James’s jaw as he worked to hold his own temper. “The guests are getting ready to leave. She won’t want us to make a scene now, it would just prolong the evening.” It had been a while since Sam heard his brother’s tone as cold as it became as he continued. “He won’t be alone with her again.”

Sam grunted in agreement, turning his head to check on her again. She’d followed her father back to the house, albeit a little slower. He couldn’t blame her for wanting some distance between them. What kind of father puts that sort of fear into his daughter? He ignored the voice in the back of his mind reminding him that he already knows what kind of father puts that sort of fear into his sons. David Anderson was no Demon Lord, but that almost made it worse somehow. People actually looked up to this creep.

Sam stayed out of the way as the guests began to leave, not sure he could keep his mouth in check if he saw even one person smile at that dick. 

Fucking hell, why did he even care so much? She was just another human living in a crappy world. The memory of her smile when he’d managed to cheer her up over breakfast slipped into his mind. So, okay, yes, fine, she has a nice smile. Kind of pretty, even. But she was still human, and they were still leaving as soon as Malix got his ass kicked.

Sighing, he headed back into the lobby in time to see Dickbag Dad put a hand on Mika’s shoulder. Damien’s warning glare kept him in place. A good thing as it turned out, as apparently Dickbag was actually saying something nice to her, judging from her blush. _Way to keep her dangling for more actual fucking decency from you, asshole._ And there she went, expression falling again. What the hell was his problem?!

At least he was leaving. Insisting Suzu and Naomi leave too was kind of shitty, he wasn’t _their_ parent. Fuck it, at least she could relax when they’d all gone.

He didn’t expect her to look quite so defeated when they had though. Okay her dad was a dick, but the night had gone well, hadn’t it? He knew it had, they’d all been on their best behaviour. 

She sighed as she lowered herself to sit on the stairs. “That was tiring.” 

Come on, woman! Where’s your fire gone?

“It’s not like you had to do any work though,” he challenged her, as usual without thinking it through. He’d expected her to come back at him with something, not look sad like that. Great, now _he_ felt like a dick.

Of course Matthew had to jump into defend her, making Sam roll his eyes. _Seriously, Pipsqueak, you’re not going to get into her pants faster by being a suck-up._ Though, considering the tired smile she gave Matthew for his defence, maybe Sam was wrong about that. _Fuck_. Why did he always look like the bad guy?

And now they were stuck with clean up duty. Of course they were. And of course she had to go and be all ‘Oh no, I couldn’t possibly’ for five seconds until they insisted and…

Wait. What the fuck was that?

Malix’s voice rang out, and Sam was too busy trying to locate the threat to see Mika’s reaction. James stepped in though, of course. Like always. He was right though. No one was getting to her, not through them.

There. Sam glared at the doors just as they opened and let the two devils stroll in as if they owned the place.

“Awww, what’s the matter, boys? You really didn’t think I wouldn’t find you, did you?”

Sam had extra frustration to vent tonight. “I hoped you would, you piece of-” 

Shit, he’d forgotten how fast Malix was and not given himself enough time to work around it. Well, guess this lobby was going to be the last thing he saw after all.

“Wha… What the fuck?!”

Huh. Guess not. Though he was just as confused as Malix about _why_ not. Still, the empty gun clicking at his head was almost funny. 

Damien explained the protection over the mansion, and Sam felt himself smirk as he ducked away from the gun Malix threw at him. He was about to laugh at Malix’s frustration when Mika’s temper outstripped it. Well, hers had been building for hours.

“Get out of my house.”

Not what Sam would have gone with, but she sounded _pissed_. Maybe Malix would get punched, too. That girl had a surprisingly solid fist. 

Malix stomped up to her and even as Sam moved forward, instinctively wanting to be in reach to defend her, he had to admire the way the little human girl stood toe-to-toe with a devil. She was smart-assing him, too. Not punching - though he still wished someone else would have to deal with that - but using her brain to intimidate him with inconvenient truths.

That was weirdly hot.

Predictably stupid, Malix ignored the threat and lunged for her. Sam’s started to move forward, but Mika surprised him again, ducking out of reach and behind Matthew and Damien before the fucker could touch her. Score two for the human girl.

A couple of taunts at Matthew later, and Malix’s girlfriend was dragging him out for them. That was considerate of her. Sam was prevented from following though, because Mika suddenly collapsed. The fastest one there, he managed to catch her before she hit the ground. “Whoa, whoa! Are you alright??” Damn, she was trembling. He supposed tonight had been pretty much a constant adrenaline swing for her.

“Y-yeah... Why was he here??”

Damien was saying something about their blood trail as Sam set Mika back on her feet.

“We should have stopped him and finished it here…”

“For once, Matthew, I agree with you.” Sam was still watching to make sure Mika wasn’t about to fall again. She seemed steady enough, but she was rubbing her arms like she was cold.

“Malix… Was he… A demon?”

“That son-of-a-bitch is not a demon. He’s a devil,” Sam growled.

Their explanation of the differences seemed to be giving Mika a headache, but she was listening. Sam tried to remind himself just how new all this was to her. She’d had a lot of information dumped on her in just a couple of days, and she was adjusting pretty quickly. Especially for a human.

“What do we do?”

We? She was barely standing up at this point and she was including herself with them. Somehow that made him _even angrier_ with Malix. At least she was protected by magic outside the house, too. But still. He growled again.

“I wanna kick his ass RIGHT now.” Not least for that confused, frightened look Mika was getting, despite Erik and Matthew reiterating her safety from Hell-Bourne magic. “Didn’t you say you knew taekwondo?”

She stood up a little straighter. “Well, yeah.” 

_That’s better_. He gave her a nod, the corner of his mouth lifting in a tight smile showing respect. She could handle herself, she just needed reminding. 

After all that, James absolutely insisted she get some rest and Sam didn’t even complain about being left to clean up while she went to bed. She’d earned some rest.


	4. The Door is Open, Come on Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika's all too happy to help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from “Good Enough” by Sarah McLachlan.
> 
> I'm starting to veer from canon more significantly here, but still overall following the same arc. :)

Mika’s early morning study session meant she slept later than she’d planned to when she went back to bed. She was annoyed with herself for wasting half the day, but the boys seemed to be getting on fine without her. When she followed the sounds of fighting out to the garden, the sight of the boys brought her up short. Sam, she expected to find fighting. He carried repressed violence around him in a visible aura. Seeing him practicing tai chi yesterday was more of a surprise than the smooth and easy way he dodged and ducked between his brothers’ blows. 

Seeing Erik look so serious, seeing James ruffled and sweaty, those were the things that surprised her. Matthew’s laughing face was frowning, almost angry; Damien, who was usually so unassuming, threw a punch that almost managed to knock Sam’s arm aside. A mix of feelings twined in her gut, admiration for their skill clashing with the realisation of just what they were capable of, even without their incubi powers. 

Then she thought about the way Damien smiled at her, as if she was an angel he couldn’t quite believe was real; she remembered the way Sam ruffled her hair in the morning, and the hilarious and adorable way Matthew seemed terrified of his own stuffed toy. There was far more to these boys than their physicality. Besides, they had promised not to hurt her. 

Still, she found it difficult to not watch them raining blows down on Sam without thinking of the bruise that seemed to have finally faded from her cheek. She focused on the way he ducked and blocked rather than _what_ he was blocking, and it helped. He was fast, steady on his feet, and his first reaction wasn’t always to hit back, it seemed. 

Determined to be reassured by that, she turned and went back to the kitchen, intent on making them lunch.

***

Trying to give the boys lunch was harder than it should be. She found Matthew first, as he wasn’t far from the dining room, just crouching by the kitchen door. He jumped when she said his name, quickly shushing her and going back to his hunt. Attention fully absorbed, he was completely unaware of her rising anxiety, only barely noticing her tiptoe over to him.

“He’s in there…” It didn’t even occur to him that he sounded as scared as he did, or what effect that would have on Mika’s already spiralling worry.

“What?” While Matthew tried to spot what - or who - he was looking for, Mika was fighting her terror at the thought of Malix’s return. Unfortunately, her fear wasn’t conveyed well through a whisper, and he was too preoccupied to notice.

Finally Matthew explained, though he was still utterly oblivious to the way she almost collapsed in relief when she realised there wasn’t actually anything dangerous in the kitchen. Still, she tried not to let that relief out in a laugh. Matthew probably wouldn’t appreciate it, even if he did deserve a little teasing for scaring her like that.

His insistence that the toy wasn’t cute was too adorable though, and a little giggle bubbled up against her will. “Matthew, Simon’s a doll! It can’t do anything.”

“You NAMED HIM?!”

“Of course! Simon Tabby. Cute, isn’t it?” Matthew’s defeated whine almost made her giggle again. “So, what’s your plan of attack?”

“Well, I plan to make my way through the kitchen as quietly as I can and hopefully not get stabbed.”

She wouldn’t laugh at him. She wouldn’t. “Sounds simple.”

Why she followed him when he crept into the room, Mika couldn’t have said, but this much seriousness over a doll was both amusing, and a little frightening. She couldn’t for the life of her understand his fear of the thing. Maybe it was because he seemed to have no idea how he’d created it? If all his other toys had been okay, then maybe he was a little afraid of what was different about this one?

Asking about his toys seemed to be a good way of distracting him though, as he almost immediately opened up and forgot about his hunt for Simon. His mother - each of the boys had a different one, apparently - hated sharing her husband. She probably should have expected it after signing on as a fourth wife, Mika thought, but then, emotions didn’t always do what you wanted them to. She wasn’t that great at controlling her own, after all. Still, the insight into the demon world, while weird, was nice to have. She still felt like she didn’t know all that much about the incubi, and wanted to gather all the information she could and understand them better.

Matthew’s kindness towards his mother reminded her of her grandfather though, and she didn’t want to get caught up in grief right now, so she turned them back to the job of looking for Simon Tabby. Not that Matthew apparently had any idea how to deal with the adorably evil little doll he’d created, even if they did find it.

Simon proved he really was evil, at least a little, by turning out the lights on them and leaving them in complete darkness. Why hadn’t the kitchen been created with windows? It was ridiculous!

When Matthew jumped towards her, seemingly intending to protect her from Simon, they both hit the floor hard. He had the presence of mind to catch himself before all his weight landed on her though, which left her staring up at the outline of him she could make out in the dark.

“H-hey are you okay??”

“Matthew??” _Of course it’s Matthew. God, Mika, you’re such an idiot._ “Y-yeah, I am…”

The flash of gold that flickered in his eyes both startled and intrigued her. She became aware of the closeness of his body, the heat he was giving off… Was he trembling?

“Matthew, are you okay?”

“I-I, um…” He gulped hard enough for her to hear it, which gave her his real answer. He wasn’t okay. 

He wasn’t moving either, so she prompted him again, more gently this time, hoping to reassure him that he could be honest.

“S-sorry… I… Uh.” His eyes began to turn gold again, a steady glow this time rather than a fleeting shift, but she didn’t feel any magic or spell from him at all. For some reason, that made her think something was really wrong, but he continued before she could ask. “I… I need you to… I need you to push me off-” _Huh?_ “I, uh… I…” He sounded desperate, but it still took her a moment to piece together why he couldn’t move. She hadn’t realised his own magic could have such a hold over him.

“Matthew… Do you need energy?” He’d worked hard all morning, and he hadn’t eaten the lunch she’d made for him yet. It was no wonder he was exhausted.

“I-I-I do, but I…” But he didn’t want to? That’s what she assumed when he closed his eyes, trying to hide his hunger from her. 

He needed it though, and even if he didn’t want to kiss her, she couldn’t let him make himself ill. It was just a kiss, and his older brothers hadn’t seemed to think it was a big deal. Did that mean it was her he didn’t want to kiss, or did he just not want to take her third kiss the way his brothers had taken her first two? It was easy to believe the former, but Matthew was so sweet… Maybe he was just trying to be nice? It was very like him. Plus, she had laid down that rule about using their powers. She’d only meant for them not to hurt anyone, but perhaps he wasn’t sure what was allowed?

Mika leaned up towards him before she could over-think it any further, cupping his face between her hands and trying to kiss him the way she remembered Erik kissing her. Except Matthew wasn’t returning the kiss, still frozen in place above her, which made her pull away with a blush. The confusion she could see in his eyes reassured her somewhat that his hesitation wasn’t a lack of desire. She wasn’t _that_ ugly, she didn’t think. A little weird looking, with her too-pale skin and black hair, but not repulsive. Though she supposed an incubus would be used to having his pick of women.

“I want to give you some of my energy.” She offered quietly, explaining that she knew he’d been working hard and had only taken enough to heal before now. He still hesitated, making her doubt herself further. “Matthew, if you don’t want my energy, just tell me… But I’m offering it to you if you do.” 

He didn’t reply in words, instead letting his magic wash heat through her body to indicate his acceptance. The way he was looking at her now dispelled any thoughts that she wasn’t pretty enough to kiss. Instead, she felt like she was the _only_ woman he wanted to kiss. His arm slipped under her waist, pulling her flush against him so she could feel how solid his body was under his baggy clothes. Heat rose in her cheeks even as his other hand slipped behind her neck to pull her into a kiss. 

Despite the apparent confidence in his hands, his kiss was gentle, almost timid - like he was afraid to push for too much. The effect of his spell kept her insecurities at bay though, and the sensation of her energy draining into him made her feel light and warm. And _amazing_. As he slowly deepened the kiss, she could feel his confidence returning, all traces of anything childish or nervous washed away by the entirely adult heat building between them.

The energy drain stopped suddenly, and Matthew was pulling back, looking at her with something like awe as he brushed her hair away from her face. God, his hands were so gentle, and he was looking at her as if he wanted so much more. She could almost _feel_ his need, and started to lift her head to satisfy it just as he released her from the enthrallment spell. 

The release was enough to make Mika hesitate, and she blushed deeply enough to give herself a head rush. When she closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, Matthew became worried. “Are you okay? I didn’t take too much, did I?”

She opened her eyes to his guilty expression and immediately wanted to soothe him. “Just a little dizzy,” she reassured, touching a finger to his lips to hush him. “It was my choice. I wanted to help.”

His answering smile and thanks were almost shy as he helped her back to her feet. She felt a little unsteady, but her quick grip on the edge of the counter helped her hide most of it. Stubbornness kept her from admitting her weakness, and she forced herself to take a few steps towards the kitchen table so she could sit down. Matthew’s concerned eyes brightened a bit in understanding as she reached for one of the plates she’d set there when they came in. She wasn’t desperate to sit down, she just wanted to recharge with something to eat! Right! Perfectly understandable. She’d slept through breakfast, after all.

It might be a cover, but she _was_ starving, so the food disappeared quickly. Simon was forgotten entirely until Matthew finished his sandwich. As if he’d been waiting for the games to begin again, Simon’s evil little giggle rang through the kitchen just as Matthew swallowed his last bite.

Mika laughed at his reaction, and promised to tidy the plates away. Too grateful to question it, Matthew bolted out of the room, leaving her to get up slowly and make sure she wasn’t about to pass out before doing as she’d promised.

***

There had still been a couple of untouched plates on the dining room table, so Mika had picked up another and gone to find out who hadn’t eaten yet. James looked up when she found him in the library and set his book aside to greet her.

“Hey, James. Have you eaten yet? I’ve got some lunch for you.”

He shook his head in response and took the offered plate. “That is very kind of you. Thank you. I’m sorry. I should have asked you first before exploring the house and finding this room.” She was quick to laugh it off, assuring him that he was free to consider the house his home. Her constant kindness in the face of strangers - potentially dangerous strangers, at that - kept astounding him. He’d met a lot of humans since coming to this world, many of them lovely people, but the amount of warmth in this girl was a rare treasure. Especially considering the situation with her family.

“Still, you’re the master of the house. I should have asked,” he insisted, wanting to remind her that, however comfortable she wanted them to be, she was in charge here. She had the control. He never wanted her to feel like they added to her responsibilities or worries, she already had too much to concern herself with.

“It’s fine! Really!” 

He simply nodded, his smile concealing a wealth of understanding. He wondered how much of her care for them came from a desire to keep any conflict to a minimum? The thought worried him, even as he ate the lunch she’d prepared. He’d make sure they stopped training in time to make dinner for her tonight. They’d promised to look after her needs while they were here after all, and expecting her to feed them went against the agreement they’d made.

“Love and Romance - A Study of Intimacy.” 

James’s head jerked up guiltily she she read out the title of the book he’d set aside. He hadn’t meant to let her know just how out of his depth he felt in trying to read the confusing signals humans gave each other. He’d need to know more now they were living with one, in case anyone let their powers slip. He _had_ to be able to recognise human flirtation from enthrallment in order to keep everyone safe.

Any thought of being able to recognise it if she showed interest in him was ruthlessly quashed. Her eagerness to please was a result of her upbringing, not an innate desire to… He shoved those thoughts aside too, in favor of explaining himself.

Her interest in how love differed for demons was unexpected, though it shouldn’t have been. She seemed keen to learn about everything she could get her hands on, which was another trait he admired. He settled in his chair, aware only once he’d started speaking that he looked like he was preparing to give her a lecture. He kept his wince internal, and edited his explanation to be more concise, so he didn’t actually sound like he _was_ giving a lecture. In only a few short sentences, he thought he’d done a decent job of describing the differences in emotional attachment.

“You hunger for energy?”

Why had she picked up on that, of all things? He could feel his hand twitch as he thought about how drained he was after the morning’s training. He was _not_ going to take energy from her to satisfy himself, that would be beyond inappropriate. She’d offered her house to them, given them shelter and safety. He would not add to the terrible impression Sam and Erik had already given by taking her energy for himself, too.

Still, now he found himself explaining how incubi fed in the Abyssal Plains, and it was hard to ignore and forget his own hunger. Despite his vow to himself, he wanted to admit the difficulties he and his brothers had been having finding… Food... In this world. Perhaps she might have some suggestions for them? _Keep telling yourself that_. He ignored the jab from his own conscience and continued anyway. “In the human world, however, we’ve come to realise that getting energy is a little more difficult.”

“Can’t you just touch a human for energy like you all did with me?”

That was a reasonable question, which led to him having to explain even further. “That only gives us so much. A touch is merely a taste, while intimate sex is a banquet for us.” He was trying really hard not to think how this lovely human girl would look, flushed and disheveled in his bed. Her pale skin colored so prettily. “That is why we have a mind-altering ability,” he continued calmly. Even as he explained fully, he made sure to add that the ability wasn’t one hundred percent effective, hoping she wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he and his brothers had been taking advantage of unwilling women.

She didn’t, thankfully, look disgusted. Her questions kept coming, though, making it impossible for him to fully distract himself from his own urge to feed. “What if you don’t feed on sexual energy? What’s the other way to stay alive?” 

James had to choose his words carefully, not wanting to sound like he and his brothers were on the verge of losing their minds. She’d already proven herself to be more easily swayed to compliance when she felt like she was meeting others’ expectations, courtesy of her father, and he was determined she shouldn’t feel obligated to them.

“Are you hungry now?” 

Apparently his attempt to avoid her feeling obligated hadn’t worked, and what was worse, his hunger was becoming more demanding with each innocent question she asked. Given the way she reached over to touch his hand, it was also becoming more obvious.

“If you really need energy, I’ll help a little. No sex, but… Enough to stop the hunger, okay?”

James froze, staring at her uncertainly. Did she mean it? Truly? Was it just an offer to help, or an expression of interest for more? Humans were so confusing, and this one especially so. Even if it was just an offer to help, she probably felt she had to, and that was the last thing he-

Suddenly, she was nose to nose with him, forcing him to look her in the eye. Her boldness was oddly reassuring.

“Alter my mind if you’re concerned about me. I really do want to help you out.” 

Not an expression of interest then? He was still unsure about that. Wishful thinking on his part, perhaps. It seemed to be an honest offer of help though, and an informed one. His control snapped before he consciously made a decision, and he watched her expression soften with desire as his magic spilled through her. She really was beautiful, and his lust was doing the thinking for him as he guided her to straddle his lap. He might regret that when they had to stop, but for now it was perfect. 

“I won’t go overboard.” The promise was to himself as much as her, and was all he could say before the hunger took over. 

She responded beautifully to his demanding kiss, melting against him even as she moved her hands to hold him even closer. The need pouring from her made her energy so much sweeter, the fight to keep his hands where they were, so much harder. She was delightful, in every way, and even as he reveled in her James knew he’d want more. One kiss would not be enough. The feel of her fingers threading gently through his hair made him groan, and his mouth left hers to trail hot kisses along her jaw. 

He’d barely reached her throat when he felt her go limp in his arms. The demon in him growled in frustration, but James ignored it. He’d taken enough energy to be satisfied. Enough to make the girl pass out, apparently, and guilt sat cold and hard in his chest as he adjusted her in his arms so he could carry her. She looked awfully fragile as he stood up, making the guilt even stronger. He would take her to bed and let her sleep it off, and reminded himself that she’d be fine after that. Hopefully she’d forgive him when she woke.


	5. Affection Weighs Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys realise Mika's a bit too willing to give of herself to help others. Sam's own issues start to peek through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Hush” by HELLYEAH.
> 
> Edit: I only posted this yesterday, but I just edited it slightly because I realised I'd copied the wrong version in. Well done, me.

James had pushed all thoughts of Mika away to focus on training, so Damien had no clue anything had happened until they broke off to make dinner. He caught a hint of James’s determination to make something special as an apology, and followed his eldest brother into the kitchen. 

“What happened?”

James jumped, making Damien frown. As quiet as he was, it wasn’t often he startled James. The answer ran through James’s mind before he could stop it, but rather than frown at him, Damien looked surprised. 

“No wonder she’s sleeping again. No, it’s not your fault,” Damien was quick to continue before James could say anything. “She’d already given energy to Matthew before she came to see you. She didn’t mention it?”

James blinked at his brother in shock. “No. She didn’t. Matthew? Are you sure?” 

“Mm-hm.” Damien nodded. “That’s why he was so keen to show off this afternoon. He had a lot of extra energy.”

“Dammit.” James set his hands on the counter and dropped his head, trying to think logically. She had to know giving energy to two of them would be too much after Sam and Erik. Then again, she’d had a big shock that night, and she might have assumed they took more to heal than just to feed normally. He’d have to talk to her, make sure she understood what could happen.

“That is probably a good idea. You might also want to talk to the others.” At James’s questioning look, Damien continued. “If she’s willing to offer her energy to us, we all need to be aware of whether she’s given any to someone else before we agree. Even if you explain… I think she would rather give too much than see one of us go hungry,” he admitted. He hadn’t been in that position himself, yet, but he’d seen enough of her thoughts to know it was a real possibility that she’d put her own needs last.

“You’re right,” James sighed after a few moments. “Would you go and find them while I start on dinner?” Better to talk while Mika was asleep and unlikely to walk into the middle of it.

Damien simply nodded and disappeared, quiet as ever. He was trying not to be disappointed that she hadn’t offered energy to him. After all, it didn’t seem like she’d singled anyone out. It was pure chance who she’d run into, and he’d have felt terrible if he’d been the one to make her pass out, anyway. 

Still, he wished he could get to kiss her. He was the only one of his brothers who hadn’t so far, and as ridiculous as it was, it felt too much like home. He’d always been the one struggling to find someone willing to part with energy, while his brothers had feasts at their fingertips. They’d helped when they knew he was finding it difficult, but he didn’t _want_ to be struggling along in their wake anymore.

Pushing those thoughts away, he found Matthew and Sam starting up a video game in the living room. “James wants to talk to us.”

“We’ve only just sat down. Can’t he talk to us over dinner?” Damien smiled slightly at Matthew’s reluctance to part with the controller in his hands, and shook his head.

“He wants to talk to us all while Mika’s asleep.”

Matthew looked up at him quickly, concern and guilt written all over his face. “She’s asleep again? Is she okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine. It’s actually her that James wants to talk about though.” Sam looked his way at that, frowning in confusion. 

“What, he thinks it’s our fault she’s being lazy on a Sunday?” The look Damien shot him made Sam wish he hadn’t opened his mouth. “Okay, okay. Sheesh.” 

“He’s in the kitchen. I’ll meet you there with Erik.” That was all the explanation they were getting, and Damien tried to wrestle his irritation with Sam down as he walked out of the room. How could Sam think she was lazy? Didn’t he see how much she put into the people around her? Even when those people weren’t incubi, she…

He let his thoughts trail off as he found Erik, who proved much more accommodating about a surprise meeting than Sam and Matthew.

“Sam,” James’s firm voice carried into the hall as the final two brothers arrived at the kitchen. “This won’t take long. You can go back to your video games in a minute.”

Seeing the group was complete, Matthew looked down at the floor. _They’re all going to think I’m an idiot, too much of a kid to even pay attention to how much energy I take. She was only dizzy for a moment! She seemed fine after! I don’t understand what happened._

Damien couldn’t let his brother keep telling himself off like that. “Matthew. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Huh? Oh. Are you sure?”

“What the fuck is going on?” Sam asked tiredly, leaning back against the counter and folding his arms.

“I’m about to explain,” James chided him. “It seems that Mika… I don’t think she knows her limits yet, when it comes to her energy.”

“Why would she?” Erik asked, surprised this was even an issue. “She’s only kissed two of us, and that was a rather exceptional circumstance.”

“Four,” James corrected him, to the surprise of everyone but Damien. “She’s kissed four of us now.” He shook his head and pinched the bridge of her nose. “She brought me lunch, and during our conversation became aware that I was hungry in… Other ways. She offered her energy, but I had no idea she’d already done the same with Matthew.”

“Aw, man.” 

Erik chuckled at Matthew’s exclamation. “Did you think you were singled out?” His younger brother’s blush just amused him further. “It seems our princess is very… Hospitable.”

“No! I just didn’t mean to end up with her in bed again. Wait… Not like that!” Matthew blushed deeper as he tripped over his words. 

Damien glanced over at Sam, who for once wasn’t amused at Matthew’s slip up. Before he could say anything however, James spoke up.

“As I said, it’s not your fault, Matthew. It’s mine.” James sighed. “She seemed like she understood what she was offering, and I didn’t think to ask if she’d already given energy to any of us.”

“Well, you had no reason to. It’s not like she’s been going around kissing us all the time!” Matthew was trying to reassure James in turn.

“More’s the pity.” Erik’s amusement drew four pairs of eyes to him. “Really? I’m the only one thinking it?” Damien could hear his mental laughter as everyone looked away again. “Our princess has a lot of energy to give, and a generous heart. We just need to be more careful.”

“My point exactly,” James agreed. “In addition, we need to be very careful about influencing her, even unintentionally. Giving of herself comes naturally to her. I don’t think she’s afraid of us, but I…” He looked uncomfortable. “I did explain that when an incubus goes without sexual energy for too long, we-”

“Turn into complete assholes who wouldn’t give a shit about her?” Sam finally spoke up. “Yeah, I’m sure that made her feel really safe.” 

James flushed slightly. “I didn’t put it like that. However, it was just after that when she realised I was hungry. It may have been a deciding factor in her choice to offer me her energy.”

“Whatever. We’re not supposed to be kissing her anyway, are we?” Damien wasn’t the only one that caught the flash of jealousy in Sam’s tone.

“Sam…” 

“Don’t ‘Sam’ me,” he snapped at James. “We won’t be here long anyway. We can go into the city to feed before we hunt down Malix, there’s plenty of clubs there.” It was how they usually got by, kissing willing strangers in dark corners. “We don’t need to feed from her to be strong enough to fight him.”

James looked at him quietly for a moment. “You’re right.” Sam’s surprise was obvious, and Damien caught Matthew trying to hide a smirk at Sam’s expression. “I let my instincts sway me, and I shouldn’t have.” This time it was James who caught Damien’s attention, his thoughts indicating instinct may not have been the only thing to blame. He thought it best not to comment on James’s attraction to the human girl in front of the others, though.

“So it’s agreed, we’re not feeding on our princess?” Erik posed the question lightly. “It is a shame, but it is for the best.” Damien knew Erik was already mourning the loss of the chance to taste her again, but still agreed that the risk of hurting her was too great.

It was then that Damien realised something. It shouldn’t have taken him so long to figure it out. “We all care about her,” he began quietly, aware of everyone’s attention turning to him. “It makes the temptation harder to resist. She does like us,” he added quickly. “She’s not scared of us. But, if we get too hungry around her, she will notice. She notices everything.” She’d been trained well to watch for cues, and know what people wanted to hear. “Are we sure she won’t take it as a rejection if we refuse her when we’re in need?”

“Well we can’t just keep taking her energy, she’d never get out of bed!” Matthew didn’t even seem to notice his implication that time, though it did get a pleased looking smirk from Erik.

“Maybe we should… Go into the city… Before we get too hungry.” James didn’t like making the suggestion, especially with Malix capable of showing up at any time, but they didn’t have to all go at once. 

Sam turned towards the door, apparently done with this conversation. “You guys do what you need to do. I’ve got other options, anyway.” Damien frowned, watching his brother’s tight shoulders as he walked away; presumably Sam was talking about feeding on rage, but he’d still need to find someone to feed _from_. What was going on?

“Maybe we should just make her more aware of the risks?” Matthew sounded hopeful.

“Instead of taking it all at once, we could try the little and often school of thought.” Erik’s words were met by a growl from Sam, who hadn’t quite made it through the door yet, and whirled around with his fists clenched.

“We’re not feeding from her.” 

Matthew tried. “Erik might be-”

“WE’RE NOT FEEDING FROM HER!” Sam’s outburst surprised them all. “She’s got enough to be scared of as it is!”

James gave him a steady look, then dropped his gaze. “Sam’s right. We’ll take it in turns to go into the city in pairs. That way none of us are ever a lone target, and neither is she.”

Most of them murmured their agreements, Sam’s stony silence being taken as the fifth ‘yes’ vote. A course of action decided on, James dismissed them all so he could finish dinner. 

Rather than go back to the living room with Matthew, Sam turned to head out to the garden. After a moment of hesitation, Damien followed, and found him sitting on the steps of the gazebo with his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong?”

Sam’s head shot up. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

Even without his ability, Damien was certainly not _that_ stupid. He didn’t say anything though, just stood there and looked at Sam, who was never that good at controlling his thoughts when something got him worked up.

_Why do I even care, anyway?_

“Why shouldn’t you?” Damien asked mildly.

Sam shot him a glare. “Because! She’s a _human_! Don’t start with me,” he added before Damien could reply. “I know, we’re living in the human world now, blah blah. But she’s just so…”

“Vulnerable?” 

Sam’s gaze dropped to the floor with a low growl. “I’d hurt her.”

Damien wanted to argue, and knew he should, but the words stuck in his throat. He wasn’t exactly unbiased here. “And I’m not good enough for her,” he finally said, barely loud enough to hear. “That doesn’t change how I feel.”

Looking up again, Sam gave Damien a ‘stop that shit’ glare. 

“Well, it’s true. You’re not the only one that likes her.” He was deliberately misinterpreting Sam’s glare, not wanting to get sidetracked.

“Yeah, well, apparently James already laid his claim, so.”

Frowning in confusion, Damien shook his head. “He hasn’t done anything. She kissed Matthew, too.”

“Oh come on, like anyone’s ever looked twice at the rest of us after James showed an interest? He likes her, no one else stands a chance.” 

“That’s not true,” came the quiet reply. “And just a minute ago you were denying you even wanted her.”

“Of course I want her, I haven’t fed properly in weeks!” The glare Damien shot him could have frozen flame. Sam dropped his gaze. “Look-”

“No. What’s really bothering you?” He knew Sam well enough to know that his griping was hiding the real issue.

“Fuck’s sake, Damien.” Sam rubbed a hand over his face. “You don’t give up, do you?” Damien didn’t bother to reply, waiting quietly until Sam could form something coherent in his mind. “You calm her down,” he finally said, words pushed through gritted teeth. “Matthew makes her laugh, James looks after her when she’s scared. Hell, Erik’s always embarrassing her and she still talks to him more than me.”

Sam was jealous. Damien sighed. “You realise that’s completely untrue?” He ignored Sam’s scowl. “We’ve been here barely two full days, and much of today she’s been asleep. She joined you outside to help with the front yard, yesterday.”

_Yeah, and that didn’t last long, did it?_

Damien closed his eyes to summon patience and focus on what Sam was thinking, which was often far more useful that what he chose to say. It was only a few moments before he caught a stray thought that make him relax and sigh in sympathy. “Sam. She’s not scared of you.” 

He glared again. “I have a shitty temper, I know that. You don’t think that reminds her of her dad?”

Damien tilted his head thoughtfully. “Her father’s methods seem to be more about control. Coercion through high expectations and his disappointment. If her father would put her off any of us, it would probably be James.”

Sam’s glare faded somewhat as he listened. “She had that bruise, though.”

“She did. But think about how he was at the party. He didn’t lose his temper with her, it was all very... Cold. Deliberate.”

Sam opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again as he thought. Her father had seemed to get angry in the garden, but he hadn’t yelled or hit her, he’d just grabbed her arm for a moment and let her go. That was all it had taken to assert his control. Maybe Damien had a point.

“I do. I also think James is right about her being sensitive to expectations. She wants to keep everyone around her as happy as possible. If she… If she gets attached to any of us, we have to be very careful she doesn’t feel like she’s just a meal.”

Sam grumbled under his breath. Yes, Damien knew she _was_ more than a meal, to all of them, but Mika might have trouble believing it. He’d glimpsed how she thought of herself, and it saddened him to think about.

“Come back inside. I'm sure beating Matthew at another video game will make you feel better.” 

“Was that sarcasm, Damien?” Sam asked, lifting an eyebrow at his brother.

Damien simply smiled and turned back towards the house.


	6. I’ll Always Be There, You’ll Never Be Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Sam are worried about her being out on her own, but don't talk to each other about it. Mika has a no good very bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “The Door” by J.J. Essen.

The boys had been training all evening, but James had prepared dinner for her, even though they left her to eat alone. Damien seemed distracted while she was downstairs, but his brothers forced him to pay attention as much as he could. After Matthew had managed to tackle him to the ground for a second time, he offered his hand to help Damien to his feet.

“What’s up with you, man?”

Damien hesitated only a moment, before explaining in his quiet, clear voice. “She’s lonely.”

Matthew backed up a step, his eyes wide, looking like he was going to bolt for the house. Sam tried to look like he wasn’t bothered, but his gaze kept flicking towards the back door.

“Well, I could fix tha-” 

“No, Erik.” James looked away with a tight jaw, second-guessing his decision to let her have some space. “She needs some time without having to worry about us.”

“I’m getting something to drink.”

“Sam-” Ignoring James’s warning, Sam strode towards the house before anyone could stop him.

“Let him go,” Damien murmured before James could decide what he should do. “He just wants to make sure she’s alright.” 

James let out a heavy sigh, but refocused his attention to continue training in Sam’s absence.

Sam made it as far as the dining room door before hesitating. He just stood there in the doorway like an idiot, watching her eat while trying to think of something to say. _Stop watching her, for fuck’s sake. You’ll freak her out if she sees you._

“Hey.” He tried not to wince when she jumped at his voice. He hadn’t meant to startle her, he should have made more noise coming in, but there he went, being a dumbass and scaring her again.

“Hey, Sam.” Her bright smile hit hard enough to rock him back on his heels. “Are you guys done for the night?”

“No. Just grabbing something to drink.” Except obviously he’d come to the dining room instead of the kitchen. “Dinner okay?”

“Oh, yes, it’s fine. You’ve all eaten?” 

“Yeah, we’re good.” He frowned, looking down at the floor. “You sleep alright?” He glanced back up at her to see her smile and nod, and found his own lips curving up in response. “Good. I mean, Matthew’s been freaking out…”

Why did she have to look at him like that? Like she saw right through him. Fuck.

“I’m sorry I worried everyone.” Mika’s gaze dropped, like she felt guilty for something. “I saw James was… Hungry… And I didn’t think. It was stupid.” 

“Yeah, it was.” He watched her blush and felt himself smirking. “You’re too damn nice for your own good.” 

Her blush wasn’t going anywhere, but she did look up at him in surprise, despite her embarrassment. “I. I know. My… My dad always says I should be tougher.” 

“Fuck him.” He’d shocked her again. “Seriously, you’re fine. Just… You need to look out for yourself, too.” That look, he couldn’t figure out, but it made him turn his head away so he didn’t have to see it.

“I gotta get back to training,” Sam continued. “So… Yeah.” He’d begun turning to leave when she spoke again.

“Are you guys going to be alright? Fighting Malix, I mean. Won’t he be getting stronger, too?”

Well, yeah, probably. But he’d still lose. “Eh, he surprised us last time.” Plus none of them had fed in a while. James and Matthew had fixed that, and they had plans to make sure all of them were at their best when they did finally go after Malix. “Won’t be happening again.” 

Sam finally looked back at her. “You’re not still worried about him, are you?” The uncertain look in her eyes as she shook her head made him sigh. She was going to be out all day without them tomorrow, and… Urgh. “You don’t need... “ He stopped again and walked over to her, setting his hand on the back of her chair. “My name.”

“Your name?” She looked at him in confusion. Right, she was human. He needed to explain.

“My _true_ name isn’t Sam.” He leaned down to murmur it in her ear, winding a little magic in so she wouldn’t forget, even if she was scared. “My name is Aomaris.” He noticed her shiver slightly, and tried not to smirk as he stood up again. “If you’re in trouble, call me, and I’ll come and help you. Doesn’t matter when.” She seemed to understand, though the way she was looking at him - all flushed and wide-eyed - wasn’t helping him remember she was off limits. He waited for her nod to confirm she understood, then left her to finish her dinner. 

What the fuck had he just done? His _true name_? Why was he such an idiot?

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

***

The following morning, Mika found herself alone again. There was no sign of the boys training outside, so she’d assumed they were still in bed until she found breakfast laid out for her in the dining room. It was kinda weird to find that and seemingly be the only one awake, but it looked like one of them had got up just to make her something to eat. _They are so sweet_.

Lovely as the breakfast was, she had to rush to be ready in time for Suzu and Naomi to pick her up, and ate quickly. She hurried to the front door, but felt a hand catch hers just before she could open it. Surprised that someone was around after all, she turned to see James looking at her with a concerned expression. 

“My name…”

“Your name?” Sam had already given her a way to call for help. Maybe James didn’t feel like it was enough? It didn't occur to her that Sam wouldn't have told the others what he'd done.

“My _true_ name isn’t James, miss... I want you to know my real name if something were to happen.” Before she could respond, he tugged her closer and leaned down to whisper in her ear, the same way Sam had done. “My name is Raestrao.” It locked into her memory the same way Sam’s true name had, and she felt confident that she’d never forget either of them.

James pulled back with a smile, though she could tell he was still worried. That two of them were so concerned did bother her. 

“If you are in any danger, call my name. I promise that I’ll come and help you.” She couldn’t do more than nod before he lifted her hand to his mouth, brushing his lips over her knuckles like the white knight he was promising to be. Then he disappeared into the dining room, and she realised her friends were still waiting outside. Crap, now she was late.

***

It didn’t take long for the day to start going downhill.

“Whoa!! OW!”

“HEY! Are you okay?”

Mika looked up at Suzu with a grimace and pushed herself up to her hands and knees.

“Who did that?” Naomi looked around for someone to answer her question and saw - of course - Lisette and her giggling friends.

“Why you little-!”

“Suzu! Don’t!”

While her friends glared at Lisette, Mika got to her feet, frustrated anger burning under her skin. This wasn’t the first time she’d been tripped, but it was the first time she knew for sure Lisette was responsible. Dammit.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, determined not to sink to the bully’s level. Mika could hear her father’s voice already, berating her for getting into a fight at school. _Not proper behavior for a young lady! How will she ever make CEO if she acts like a common thug? Stupid, useless-_ She stamped down on her thoughts and turned away, brushing herself down as though she didn’t care about a thing. Lisette was beneath her, and would be ignored.

Mika made sure to reassure her friends that she was fine, giving them a nonchalant smile designed to completely hide the pain running through her arms and shoulders. “Come on, we’ll be late for History.”

They didn’t buy it, which wasn’t overly surprising, but were willing to go along with her wishes. Except of course Suzu had to insult Lisette’s friends before they left earshot, and the next thing Mika knew, insults were being leveled at her friend’s family. Were these girls for real? 

Mika’s hand on Suzu’s shoulder was the only thing stopping the tiny Italian from tackling someone, but it still took a pleading look to Naomi to get her to help before they could turn Suzu around and march her away. The anger Mika had felt at being tripped had doubled, burning low in her gut as she made her way to class. It took the rest of the day for the feeling to subside, even with Naomi trying her best.

She’d just about reached equilibrium again when the day ended, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t last when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Checking the message, her heart sank, and her stomach tied in knots. Urgently, she hurried to her locker to get her things, knowing her father wouldn’t want to be kept waiting. Luckily, Suzu and Naomi found her quickly. They were relaxed about Mika’s dad picking her up though, even if she didn’t feel that way herself. Had she done something wrong? This wasn’t normal, and anything out of the ordinary with her father was always worrying. Especially when she didn’t know _why_ things were different.

She waved her friends off and went to wait in the spot her dad always picked her up from. Music usually helped when she felt like this, so she put her headphones in and tried to focus on her favorite band, singing along under her breath as she willed the lump in her chest to disappear. Her father usually showed up promptly, but the music kept playing and he was nowhere to be seen. When the album finished with still no sign of him, she pulled her phone out and dialled her dad’s number, only to be disconnected immediately. 

“What the… No signal? How do I not have signal?” Her phone indicated it was receiving signal just fine. Maybe he was in a dead zone?

Suddenly, hands grabbed at her feet and hands, another covering her mouth to prevent her from screaming. Terrified, Mika struggled hard, trying to get just one hand or foot free. Just one and she could do something. She couldn’t even call James or Sam, and the fear started to choke her. They’d given her a way to call them and she was helpless to use even that to protect herself!

“HEY! Don’t dirty up Malix’s prey.” Mika shuddered as that same voice moved close to her ear, sounding far too pleased with itself. “You’re coming with me, Ms. Anderson.”

Before she knew what was happening, Mika was blindfolded and bound, carried bodily to a vehicle and tossed inside. A van? The echo sounded like a van, but she still wasn’t alone and didn’t dare move to try and figure anything out further. Devils were aggressive, and not that smart from what the boys had said. Even if she was ‘Malix’s prey’, they could easily kill her if they thought she was too much trouble. So, she’d bide her time, try and figure out as much as she could from listening. She could swallow down the fear, she’d had enough practice at it. Wait it out, and look for an opportunity, that was the best way to handle it.

A while later the maybe-van stopped, and she was picked up again. She could hear everything, but nothing that seemed to help, and frustration was winning out over fear. Who the hell did Malix think he was? Pretending to be her father, kidnapping her from school…? Fuck him!

Finally, her bonds were cut and the blindfold removed. The sight greeting her wasn’t encouraging, but at least she could see. It went a long way to making her feel less helpless. They’d also cut her bonds, presumably assuming a mere human couldn’t be much of a threat. Fury burned in her blood as Malix smirked at her and gloated that she was bait for the boys. He was using her against them? Oh, hell no.

Before she could say anything, however, his gun was pressed right between her eyes. It should have terrified her, but she knew she was protected from his magic. She couldn’t think much past the anger, anyway. How _dare_ he?

No way this was happening. No way was she was going to let herself be a victim.

“I… I will…” 

“What are you whimpering? Are you praying that the boys will come and save you?” 

His mocking laugh tipped her over the edge. A breath later, she’d snapped to one leg and smacked her raised foot across his face in a perfect kick, knocking him back. His shock as he sat on his ass and rubbed his cheek was so worth it. 

Of course, as she shook her foot out, Mika realised that now she’d _really_ pissed him off. “You little bitch! Think you’re tough, huh?! Well, I’ll show you your place!! COME HERE!”

He charged, dropping the gun that wasn’t a danger to her and reaching out with his hands instead. She moved instinctively, dropping down and sweeping her leg in front of her, knocking him to his ass for a second time. 

After rolling away to get some space, she jumped back to her feet with a glare. “Just because I’m a human doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass!” Using the run up she’d given herself, Mika rushed forward and slammed her foot into his head.

Off to the side of the room, Malix’s girlfriend was giving orders, stopping others from helping. Was this some kind of power hierarchy thing, or was she just not bothered if he got his ass kicked? It was interesting, but Mika had to focus.

Kick after kick, she landed blows. Some to the devil’s arms as he tried to block her, but she definitely heard a rib or two crack when her foot connected with her chest. Unfortunately, he had to get smart some time, and when she wasn’t expecting it he grabbed her foot, yanking her off balance. Mika landed flat on her back, winded, but immediately started to move away. The pain in her arms from trying to break her fall slowed her down though. The next thing she knew, Malix was on top of her, pinning her in place and smirking down at her in a way that suggested he was about to enjoy some revenge.

He was too strong for her usual tricks to work to dislodge him, and she began to realise that he’d got her. She was just a human, he was a devil, and without space to work with she wasn’t going to beat him. God _dammit_.

She still had a back up, though: two names tied to her memory in case she needed them. Without time to think about it, she shouted the first one that came to mind.

“AOMARIS!”


	7. He Walked with Fury and Lived with Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam saves the day and gets saved right back. James is disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from “Maggie McCall” by Sandi Thom.
> 
> Also, I added a small edit to chapter 5, in the big kitchen conversation. It's tiny, but I essentially uploaded the wrong version because I'm an idiot. Sorry!

It was stupid to worry. She was at school, living her normal human life with her normal human friends. He didn’t have time to worry, anyway, playing punchbag for his brothers again. 

They were getting better, but Sam would be damned before admitting he needed a break.

He was saved from that by the pull of a summoning, grabbing his attention when he should have been watching for Erik’s next attack. He followed the thread of magic, letting it take him out of the circle of his brothers to an empty warehouse he didn’t recognise. No, not empty. His gaze fell on the woman who’d summoned him, pinned to the floor by a devil trying to blink the light spots from his eyes.

Sam didn’t give him the chance to clear his vision. With a furious roar, he grabbed Malix by the throat, lifting him off Mika and throwing him across the room. The only thing that stopped him following was her voice.

“Sam…”

Without taking his eyes off Malix, he reached a hand down to help her up. He snuck a little energy boost through the contact, hoping she wouldn’t mind in the circumstances. ”Don’t worry. I gotcha.” Her breath caught a little, and he assumed she was going to cry, but she didn’t sound in the least upset when she spoke.

“He’ll probably be trying to protect his chest. I’m pretty sure I broke a couple of ribs.”

Sam stared down at her, unable to help it. This fragile little human had injured a devil? A mix of pride and arousal slammed through him, and he knew he’d failed to keep it hidden when he felt his eyes flash gold. He didn’t have time to wait and see what that wide-eyed look from her meant though, not with Malix swearing and roaring a challenge.

Sam rushed forward to meet him, keeping the fight as far from Mika as he could. Malix hit the wall again, and again. Sure enough, he was trying to shield his ribs from Sam’s fists, and the demon smirked knowingly. _Atta girl._

A sudden blast of heat forced him back, and before he knew it he was dodging bullets. Malix was fast, limiting the advantage Sam’s super-speed gave him, and only a few blows landed before the devil managed to trip him. In a blink, Malix was shoving his gun into Sam’s mouth, gloating through the glare he was receiving. 

Fully fed, Sam could have handled it, but the small taste he’d had from holding Mika’s hand to help her up wasn’t nearly enough. _Fuck_.

Before Malix could pull the trigger, something happened that neither man had seen coming. A small foot appeared, slamming into the devil’s wrist with a sharp snapping sound. 

As Malix howled, cradling his broken wrist, Sam tossed the gun aside and jumped to his feet. This girl was defending _him_? Fuck, Matthew was never going to let him live this down. ...Still, she did look really kinda hot like this - furious and focused, ready to defend them both if Malix came at her again. 

“You’ve done your part,” he assured her, a demonic growl seeping into his voice. “I got this.”

She didn’t have time to respond before Malix was rushing them again, but she obviously heard him because she backed up to give them space. He was vaguely aware of his brothers appearing to keep the rest of the devils in line, and then Malix was on him. 

Sam used the momentum against his opponent, twisting and slamming him into the ground. Now Malix was the one pinned, and Sam wasn’t holding back. Almost too fast for the human eye to follow, he rained blows down, caving the devil’s smug face in, paying him back for jumping him and his brothers. For attacking Mika. Every injury his brothers had to heal, every moment of fear the human girl had gone through, all of it paid back in full as skin split and bone crunched beneath his fury.

It took James’s commanding voice to bring him back to himself. Chest heaving with exertion, he got to his feet, and followed his immediate instinct to look for Mika. A bolt of gratitude hit him in the chest when he realised his youngest brother had covered her eyes. She didn’t need to see what he’d done. Still too angry to feel ashamed, he was dimly aware that he’d lost control here. He’d let his rage take over. Fuck, he’d be lucky if she ever spoke to him again.

“Malix is dead and you’ve lost your glamor spell.”

He glared at Erik. “Shut... Up...” Why did his idiot brother have to say that out loud? Mika must have picked up on it because Damien was replying to something no one else could hear. Yeah, they looked like demons. She was probably picturing God knows what now, but Damien wasn’t saying anything else.

He glared at the bottle Matthew offered, but took it when prompted. He was out of energy. He really, really was. “...Fine, whatever.”

At least Damien kept his hands over Mika’s eyes until Sam had turned back, that was something.

She was confused, of course, but James handled that with his expert redirection skills. Still, Sam knew she was looking at him as they all walked out of the warehouse. Hoping for answers? Imagining how awful he must look under the glamor? Horrified by what he’d done?

He couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes.

***

Back at the house, they were all exhausted, and Sam just wanted to crawl into bed. Maybe tomorrow they could forget he’d beaten a devil to death right in front of her. A devil who had it coming, but Sam had still lost control, got really violent, and… Whatever.

Damien had to go and remember their promise though. Or maybe she’d been thinking of it and hadn’t known how to bring it up. _Fuck_. He didn’t want to deal with this tonight, not right after what she’d just seen.

She was looking around at them all, and it had to be obvious they wanted to stay, didn’t it? They didn’t have anywhere else to go. And even if they had… Wait, why was she looking at him like that? He’d expected fear, or disgust, but she looked… What was that? Like, hopeful or something? He was imagining it, had to be. Damien nudged him though, prompting him to say something. Now their future was in his hands? Fuck.

He stepped forward, eyes on the ground and hands shoved deep into his pockets. How did he ask? Is that even what she wanted, or was she hoping he’d say no, they definitely had to leave?

“Hey, um… I… Shit, um… I kinda… Ugh.” He closed his eyes for a moment, cursing himself for his idiocy. “I wanted to thank you, for stepping in when you did and stuff, and well… I… I kinda wanna stay here. Can we stay here?” He could feel James’s glare telling him to be polite. “...Please?” 

He took a deep breath and stepped back to give her space, unable to look her in the eye. Why would she want this? Why would she want a bunch of _demons_ living in her home? They’d already knocked her out twice by draining her energy, for fuck’s sake, and she’d been taken as some kind of hostage because of them, and-

“I would love it if you could all stay.”

Wait, _what_?

His head shot up to find her smiling at him. At _him_. What was even happening? His brothers were sighing and cheering in relief around him, but all Sam could do was summon a small smile for her, nervous as hell all of a sudden. Jesus, was she blushing? Why did that look so cute?

“My home is your home, as long as you can still help with the chores.” 

Sam didn’t even care about the chores any more. She was letting them stay.

He could feel James’s eyes on him as the eldest brother attempted to round the incubi up for bed. Something had changed and even Sam was aware of it, even if he was too tired to process it all properly. He’d been the one to ask to stay, in front of all of his brothers. He’d also been the one she said yes to. She probably would have said yes to any of them, but…

But his brothers were going upstairs, and now he was alone with her. He gave her another small smile, lifting his hand to rub the back of his neck as he tried to think of something to say. 

“Hey, um… Thanks for letting us stay…”

“You’re welcome, Sam. I’m happy to have you stay here.”

He could feel his smile growing, accompanied by a weird feeling of lightness in his chest. It faded, however, as he thought back to Malix. “Listen… About what happened at the warehouse-”

“No. It’s fine.” He glanced up at her as she interrupted. “You did what you had to do. I understand.”

It’s fine? She _understands_? 

“How?” He stared at her, incredulous. “How are you so _nice_ like this? How are you so… Caring? To a bunch of demons - _demons!_ \- who kind of took advantage of you when they first met you?! By the way,” he switched track, the rising frustration from not being able to predict her giving way to his need for her to _keep_ seeing past his stupidity, “I’m still sorry, and still consider myself a dumbass for that. But, anyway...” He growled, frustrated with himself this time. “Getting off topic-”

She didn’t let him finish, halting his rush of words by pressing her mouth to his. 

Stunned, it took Sam a moment to even respond. His body beat his mind when it came to decision making though, and before he could stop himself he was melting into that kiss with a soft, helpless sound. She was kissing him. She was kissing _him_. How was this real?

Too soon, she was pulling back, looking up at him with those big green eyes that stole his words at the best of times.

“What… What was that for?”

She gave him a look that clearly called him a dumbass, but then she was kissing him again and he couldn’t bring himself to care. Except that he could feel the hunger rising up, demanding to be fed, and this time he had to be the one to pull back. He knew his eyes had turned just from the look on her face.

Fuck, how was he supposed to restrain himself with her looking at him like that?

“You… You should rest. You look tired.” He winced even as the words left his mouth, but being an idiot seemed to be making her smile so… That was something. “Come on.” 

He took her hand, gently tugging her towards the stairs. She followed him willingly enough, but wouldn’t let go of him when they reached her bedroom door.

“Sam… You used a lot of energy tonight.”

Oh, no. No. He was not doing this. He looked away, trying not to see the temptation right in front of him. “I’m fine.”

“Really?” Her voice was gentle, but she didn’t sound like she believed him. 

“Yeah. I’ll go find a bar in the city tomorrow.” Sam, you fucking DUMBASS, why did you say that? She was looking at him like he’d slapped her, pulling her hand away and- “No, no. That’s not what I… Ugh.” He closed his eyes while he took a breath, and tried again. “You’ve been through enough today, I don’t want to take your energy on top of it.” 

“You’d rather find someone else.” That kicked-puppy expression was killing him. “I get it.”

“No, you don’t.” Ruthlessly ignoring his hunger, he tugged her forward into his arms and pressed his forehead to hers. “If I’m kissing you, I don’t want it to be just because I need energy.” 

Finally, he seemed to have said something right, because she lifted her gaze back to his with a look of… Something. Something he couldn’t name, but it stole his breath and he could swear his heart stopped for a moment. 

“You only want to kiss me because you _want_ to?” Yes! She got it, thank God- “You can want to kiss me _and_ get some energy. I’m going to bed anyway, so if I get tired it doesn’t matter.” 

God damn it.

“Look, doofus, you don’t need to-”

She just wasn’t giving in. “I’d rather you got it from me than someone else.” 

Well. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that?

She opened her bedroom door and pulled him inside. “Just a kiss,” she warned, making sure they were clear. And James was worried this girl didn’t know what she really wanted? Jeez. 

Next thing he knew, her hand was on the back of his neck, and she was tugging his mouth down to hers. 

“Just remember, you offered it…” His murmur trailed off when their lips met, and he let his magic go, releasing heat to roll through them both in a slow wave of desire. He felt her gasp under his mouth, and it was all Sam could do to suppress a possessive growl. She was soft and warm under his hands, and it was driving him crazy. Backing up to the wall, he let it support him as he spread his legs a little and sagged back against it. The angle was easier like this, and she could still pull away if she needed to. Damn... She melted against him like she was made to be there, and Sam had to concentrate to make sure he didn’t take her energy too fast. 

He lost track of time savoring her, making sure to cut off the energy drain when he had enough to get by so he wouldn’t exhaust her. She was still wide awake as far as he could tell, hands roaming over his chest and gaining confidence, sliding under his vest. His own hands were trembling as they found the end of her bow, tugging it loose. He’d known fae, concubines, succubi… But this innocent human girl was completely undoing him. 

Sam forced himself to pull away from her mouth, dropping the enthrallment and giving them both a moment to breathe. Her eyes were still closed, so he took the opportunity to just look at her, watch as her chest heaved for breath and her skin glowed with arousal. He’d never seen anything so beautiful.

Glazed eyes met his, and he found himself wetting his lips, almost desperate to keep kissing her. 

“Do you want to stop?” Her words were quiet, barely more than a whisper, but he‘d defy any succubus in the Abyssal Plains to match this girl in seduction. 

“You don’t?” Damn, was that really his voice? He sounded _wrecked_.

The way she smiled at him, he was surprised he didn’t just combust. Completely free of enthrallment, she leaned in again, her kiss deep and passionate, and he just… He lost it. 

Sam pulled her closer, holding her tightly against his chest and only breaking their kiss to trail his mouth along her jaw, revelling in the sounds she made for him. She clung to his shoulders to stay on her feet and he’d have smirked if he wasn’t just as shaky. Fuck, she sounded amazing. She felt even better. He slipped his hand between them and began working her buttons open, wanting more skin to kiss, to taste…

“Sam…” 

That sigh didn’t sound quite right. It was enough to break through the haze and make him hesitate. He realized her grip on his shoulders had loosened. Concerned, he raised his head to look at her, meeting heavy-lidded eyes. 

“Little dizzy,” she whispered, giving him a faint smile. 

Dammit, he should have been more careful.

“It’s ok,” he murmured reassuringly, adjusting their position so he could scoop her up in his arms. “I gotcha.” 

She giggled softly, resting her head against his shoulder in a gesture so trusting he felt his pulse thud in his throat. “Make sure I don’t sleep too late?” 

She could have asked him anything right then. A wake up call was the least he could do. “I promise.” 

Sam set her down carefully in her bed, making sure she’d be warm and comfortable for the night. She fell asleep before he even moved from her side, but he was still careful to be quiet as he closed the door, not wanting to disturb her.

“Sam.”

Oh, crap. He turned to face his brother and hoped he didn’t look too much like he’d been… Doing what he’d been doing. “James.”

His older brother regarded him seriously. “I know you were exhausted, but I thought we agreed not to feed from her.”

“I know.” Sam shoved his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor when a frown. “I only took a little.” 

“You were in there for a some time to only take a little. You didn’t…”

“No! Fuck, what do you think I am?!”

James held up his hands in apology. “I’m sorry. I just know what it’s like to be that hungry.” 

“I told you, I didn’t take much. Just enough so I’m not completely drained.” He wasn’t sure he liked that searching look James was giving him. 

“She’s made her choice, hasn’t she?” 

Sam groaned, scrubbing his hand through his hair. “Can we talk about this when we’ve had some sleep?” 

James didn’t say anything, but seemed willing to let it drop for now. “Let’s go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning.”

Oh, wonderful. Sam couldn’t wait.


	8. I Kissed a Girl with a Broken Jaw, That Her Father Gave to Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika's father has more unreasonable demands, and the boys discuss it - and the change between her and Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from “The Calendar Hung Itself” by Bright Eyes. The song isn't explicitly about domestic violence, but one of the verses contains references. Like so.
> 
> I messed with the game timeline a bit. Diana's giving the boys a chance to get bored now Malix is gone, hoping they'll be easier to win over that way, so no Diana just yet.
> 
> This chapter starts out with a second-hand embarrassment warning. Sorry!

Morning came without incident, and Mika woke before her alarm, a smile on her lips. Her legs were a little sore from kicking Malix so hard the day before, but there was nothing truly painful, and she relished the feeling as she turned over to switch off her alarm. She hadn’t been just some little girl for the boys to come and save, she’d held her own, and the way Sam had looked at her when he realised it…

Sighing at the memory, Mika closed her eyes again and let her hand drift down over her body, slipping under her clothes. 

A knock sounded at the door, and she snatched her hand free in embarrassment. Please, don’t let it be…A throat cleared and she knew her prayer had not been answered.

“It’s Damien. I just wanted to make sure you were awake. I’ll… I’ll leave you to get ready.”

God _dammit_. Blushing furiously, Mika jumped out of bed to throw some clean clothes on and hurry to get ready. Why did it have to be Damien? Argh! 

By the time she’d washed her face and brushed her teeth, the blush had subsided, as long as she didn’t think about… No, nothing happened, it’s fine. Time to go down to breakfast. 

***

Damien had been blushing as red as a tomato when he came downstairs, and Sam couldn’t help but notice. Had he walked in on her changing or something? Shoving down the possessive growl he could feel crawling up his throat, Sam tried to remind himself that accidents happened. No way Damien walked in on her on purpose, he wouldn’t do that. 

The fact that his youngest brother was blushing even harder now wasn’t helping though, and Sam stared at him, raising one quizzical eyebrow.

“It’s nothing.” The embarrassed murmur was awkward enough to make Sam frown, possessiveness fading away in his concern for his brother. “Really, I’m fine.”

Forced to let it go - he didn’t want to be discussing it any further with Erik in the room - Sam finished setting the table. 

A few minutes later, Mika came downstairs, and Sam was able to release tension he hadn’t even realised he was holding when she seemed happy and relaxed. Chipper, even. 

“Good morning!”

“Good morning, miss.” James was just bringing a plate of bacon through from the kitchen. “Did you sleep well?”

“Like a baby,” she confirmed, slipping into her seat at the head of the table. Her cheeks colored a little when she met Sam’s eyes, but she was still smiling so he took it as a good sign, and smirked back at her. She blushed harder, dropping her gaze to her plate, and Sam tried not to feel too smug.

She’d barely started eating when her phone rang, and she picked it up without looking, assuming it was Suzu or Naomi. All the boys noticed when she froze. The temperature in the room seemed to drop in sympathy. 

“I… Okay. Tomorrow?” Her tone lifted a little in panic, but she immediately shoved it down. “Yes. Yes, dad, I will.” 

Sam felt his nails digging into his palm, and looking around the table, he wasn’t alone. Matthew was watching her with concerned sympathy. Damien had closed his eyes, probably trying to deal with the rush of her thoughts. Erik’s jaw was set in a way that looked eerily reminiscent of James, and James himself was hiding his feelings behind a cool, calm mask, as he watched her from the corner of his eye.

The call ended, and Mika took a deep breath to steady herself. Her appetite for her breakfast seemed to have vanished, but she was poking at it with her fork, trying to talk herself into eating.

This time, Damien let her explain when she was ready.

“I have to host a dinner party tomorrow,” she told them quietly. “He’s already invited some members of the Board, so I can’t refuse.” 

She could refuse, but they understood that she didn’t _feel_ like she could.

“Not a problem, miss,” James assured her gently. “Matthew and I can plan what to make and go shopping today. Unless you’d like to discuss the options before we buy the ingredients?”

Mika shook her head quickly. “No, no, it’s fine.” She managed a small smile. “Thank you, so much. I hate to ask you to do this.”

“You didn’t! We’re offering.” Matthew beamed at her reassuringly. “Besides, I have an excuse to try something fancy!”

“We’ll do a trial run tonight,” James added dryly. “Just in case.”

“I’ll make sure everything is presentable, princess. You don’t need to worry about a thing.” Mika still blushed when Erik called her princess, and Sam tried not to let it annoy him. “Have you got something to wear?”

“I… I’ve only really got the dress I wore at the housewarming,” she admitted. “Everything else I have is… Not appropriate.” From the frown on her face, it looked like she was repeating something her father had said. 

“Well then, when you get home why don’t we go shopping? Most of the stores at the mall don’t close until eight.” Erik’s smile was genuine and gentle rather than flirtatious, and Mika’s smile was brightening in response. “We’ll find you something fit for a princess to host a banquet.”

“Everything will be alright,” Damien assured her softly. “We’ll be here.”

She was much more relaxed by the time her friends arrived to pick her up, and Sam was able to let her leave without too much worry. 

The incubi reconvened in the dining room. Sam was still hungry, so it was as good a place as any. 

“Do you think he does this a lot? Throwing stuff at her at the last minute?” Matthew looked worried, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he fidgeted, too restless to sit down. 

“Yes,” Damien replied sadly. “But having to host board members is a step up. He’s pushing her really hard to impress them, trying to pressure them into giving her into the CEO position.”

“Isn’t she kind of young for that?” Sam asked, frowning. “She’s not even started college.”

“I think he plans on being the interim CEO while she finishes her degree,” James interjected, his tone tight and laced with something dangerous all of the brothers recognised. “He’s maneuvering her into position because everyone knows he was estranged from her grandfather, so he couldn’t secure it for himself.”

“James is right.” Damien spoke up again, an edge creeping into his voice too. “I picked up what he was thinking at the party. What she wants never even crossed his mind.”

Sam shoved his plate away with a growl. “He kicked her out to live her own life, she should tell him to get lost.” 

“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Erik replied before James could say anything. “He is her father.” 

All of them understood that, no matter how much it frustrated them. They hated their own father, but it had taken most of them a long time to stop thinking they could ever please him. Some of them still struggled with it, which is part of why they’d left in the first place.

“Is there _anything_ we can do?” Sam’s snappish tone provoked a glare from James. 

“For now, we concern ourselves with making sure he has nothing to criticise her for tomorrow. Matthew and I can handle the menu. Erik, you’ll help her find something to wear, and set up the dining room.”

“I’ll help,” Damien piped up, getting a smile and a nod from Erik.

“What can I do?” Everyone turned towards Sam, who became defensive at the scrutiny. “What?”

“Maybe you should do some of that tai chi?” Matthew suggested. “You look like you’re going to explode.” 

James sighed. “Which brings us to another point we should discuss.”

“We already know to be on our best behavior,” Erik assured him.

“That’s not what he meant,” Damien replied quietly, gaze dropping to the table. “She’s chosen one of us.”

“Chosen wha… Oh.” Matthew looked between Damien and James, and then belatedly over to Sam who wasn’t meeting anyone’s eyes, but was actually blushing a bit. “Good for you, Sam.” Matthew’s voice was warm and sincere, even as he reached over to squeeze Damien’s shoulder.

“I don’t know that she’s chosen anything,” Sam muttered irritably. “She kissed me, that’s all. I’m not the first.” 

“She called for you when she was in danger,” James argued, his tone too restrained and even for it to be reflecting how he really felt. 

“Well did anyone else give her their name?!” Sam wasn’t expecting to get a nod, especially from James. “...Oh.” He hadn’t known. 

“But she hasn’t said anything explicit? Maybe Sam just seemed like the logical choice in a fight.” Erik wasn’t the least bit perturbed by James’s glare. “She hasn’t seen the rest of us fight, not really, and you do present yourself very much as the mild-mannered librarian type.”

“She gave him her energy last night,” James pushed the denial of Erik’s reassurances through clenched teeth. 

The brothers were silent for a moment, staring at Sam, whose blush deepened as he snapped back. “I didn’t sleep with her for fuck’s sake, it was just a kiss!”

“Oh.” Matthew looked over at James. “He was pretty worn out, and she did give you and me energy the day before. Is that really such a big deal?”

“We had said we wouldn’t feed from her anymore.” James pointed out, looking steadily at Sam, and Sam… He felt small under the scrutiny, and hated it. 

“It was rather an exceptional circumstance,” Erik pointed out. “And he had just saved her life.”

Sam didn’t want to think it might just have been gratitude behind her offer. 

“She was proud of herself.” Damien spoke up quietly, looking into space with a thoughtful expression. “For taking on Malix.”

“But why didn’t she call for help sooner?” James’s attention had turned to their youngest brother, gaze almost beseeching. “Why not when they first took her? Why fight first?”

Damien opened his mouth to speak, but Sam surprised himself by getting there first. “She wants to protect _herself_. And she can.”

Dark blue eyes met Sam’s from across the table in surprise, and Damien gave him a nod. “Even though she had to call for help, she was pleased that she’d not been…” He tilted his head slightly, trying to recall the exact phrase he’d heard in her head. “She’d not been ‘just a damsel in distress’.”

“But she does know we’ll protect her, doesn’t she? We don’t see her as weak for needing help.” James’s concern for her became clearer as he stopped trying to hide his feelings, and Sam realised that James wasn’t worried about her wanting to be with Sam - he was worried about her period, and didn’t like not being the one she called for help. Which was just like him, the dumbass control freak that he was.

“I don’t think that’s the point.” Erik brushed hair from his eyes with a quick flick of his fingers.

“She sees herself as weak.” Damien nodded.

“You said it yourself, James. The other night,” Matthew added. “We can’t help her if she doesn’t want us to.” 

“So we teach her to look after herself.” Four heads turned to look at Sam, and he really wished they didn’t all look so surprised. “We train to get stronger. Why shouldn’t she?”

“I’m not sure practicing taekwando will help…Hey!” Matthew protested Sam’s epic eyeroll. 

“Not what I meant, Squirt.” He ignored Matthew’s outraged expression. “She needs to learn to stand up to her old man, or he’ll keep pushing her around. I don’t mean by fighting him,” he added before Matthew could interrupt. 

“How do you plan to do this?” Erik was at least looking interested rather than skeptical.

“I don’t know, man.” Confidence failing as he realised he didn’t have an actual plan of action, Sam shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Punching he could do, but this was… Complicated.

He could feel Damien looking at him, and wondered what was going on behind that enigmatic stare. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Sam… Actually has a good point.” All eyes turned back to James, who’d removed his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “There’s a lot about the human world we still need to learn. Maybe while we’re here we can… Trade. Knowledge,” he clarified. 

“Help her see herself like we see her,” Damien added softly.

Sam suddenly found himself wondering how she did see herself, but his brother immediately shook his head. He wouldn’t give away Mika’s private thoughts. Sam was both grateful Damien guarded her privacy so well, and frustrated that he wouldn’t be getting easy answers.

“How do we do that, though?” Matthew asked, biting his lip in worry. 

“Slowly,” James admitted. “And by shielding her from her father’s criticism when we can.”

“Doesn’t that count as helping her?” Matthew bounced slightly on the balls of his feet, still restless. It made Sam’s teeth itch.

“No direct interference. We just make sure he has no easy ammunition,” Erik suggested, sounding like he understood this far too well for anyone's comfort. “If we don’t leave her alone with him, he’s unlikely to resort to physical violence. That should help her start to feel more confident, as well.”

Sam felt like he’d painted himself into a corner. He’d suggested this, but he realised that nothing in his skillset would be helpful. Matthew was good at laughing things off, and cheering her up when her dad brought her down; James could read her father like a book and knew how to outmaneuver him; Damien could hear when she might need extra support, could tell in an instant when her confidence faltered. As for Erik, he knew exactly how to make a woman feel confident and in charge. Sam? He didn’t even trust himself to be a physical bodyguard for her, not when she’d want him to hold back from actually hurting her father. He couldn’t risk letting loose on the asshole, even if he did deserve it for what he was putting Mika through. _Fuck_.

“Sam…” Damien hesitated. “Doesn’t tai chi teach defensive moves?”

Sam looked up at him with a frown. “She knows taekwando, she can defend herself.”

“Could she defend herself like that without hurting him, though?” Erik questioned, looking thoughtful. “I doubt she’d be willing to kick her father, no matter how much he deserves it.”

“Yeah,” Matthew agreed, brightening despite the subject matter. “But if she could stop him hurting her without hurting him back...”

“She’d probably be more willing to block, or free herself from his grip, than risk injuring him,” James agreed, looking at Sam thoughtfully.

Sam was just looking between them all, a bit confused. “...You want me to practice tai chi with her?”

“It will probably do wonders for your temper, too.”

He glowered at the smug teasing. “Shut up, Erik.”


	9. She Hides the Bruises with Linen and Lace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and Mika go shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from “Concrete Angel” by Martina McBride.

Mika had arrived home, only for Erik to immediately whisk her off in a cab to the mall. When she protested that they could have asked Naomi for a lift, he shushed her with an admonishment to ‘let me spoil you’. A little flustered, she’d had no choice but to go with it. He filled the journey with warm, sincere questions about her day, her classes, her friends, whether she’d got much work to do for school when they got home. It was light, easy conversation designed to help her unwind, and let him know how long they could stay out shopping.

It turned out, when Erik was focused on something other than flirting, he was far more charming than when he was trying to win her over. She thought so, anyway. His insistence on being polite and attentive drew almost as many blushes from her as his usual flurries of compliments, and he was starting to notice.

“You know, princess,” he began, looking down at her as they walked arm-in-arm through the mall. “I’m starting to think no one has ever treated you properly, like the precious jewel that you are.” There she went with another blush, but she didn’t pull away or seem to be truly uncomfortable, so he allowed himself a soft chuckle. “You don’t believe me?” The question, voiced low and intimate in her ear, made her shiver. “Let me show you.” 

Before she knew what was happening, Mika was being guided into an awfully fancy looking store. Could she afford this place? 

Taking a deep breath to stave off panic, she made herself consider it properly. She had more than just the house itself. The inheritance had come along with an allowance from her grandfather’s shares, put in place to let her live more independently. As long as she didn’t make too many ridiculous purchases, she should be fine. Even with five demons to feed. 

Erik stopped in front of a selection of dresses, each more colorful than the last. Mika was a little dazzled by it all, particularly the one with an odd cluster of crystals on each shoulder. They reminded her of little disco balls.

“Don’t worry.” His voice was close enough to caress her ear again, making her jump a little and him laugh again. “You don’t need gauche baubles like that, princess. We need to find you something that shows how brightly you shine, all by yourself.” Relieved, she still found herself blushing. All this blood rushing to her cheeks couldn’t be good for her, she was sure.

His hand hovered over something in red, but he stopped short of picking it up. “As much as I enjoyed seeing you in red,” he glanced at her with his trademark sly smile, and her cheeks heated further to match the dress in question. “I think perhaps a different color this time?”

Mika nodded mutely, pressing her lips together. The dresses looked gorgeous, mostly, but this wasn’t the kind of place she usually shopped in. It felt… Intimidating. 

“Are you alright, princess?” She looked up at him quickly, and found herself faced with a look of guilty concern. “I thought this would be fun for you, but we don’t have to-”

“No! It’s fine, really. I’m just… I don’t normally comes to places like this,” she confided, gaze darting around at all the silk and chiffon on display. “I feel like I’m going to break something just standing here.”

“Ah.” Beginning to understand, Erik gently placed a reassuring hand on her back. “I promise, princess, you will do nothing of the sort.” He hesitated for a moment. “Do you trust me?” 

Instantly lifting her gaze to his, Mika nodded without having to think about it. “Of course I do.”

He seemed surprised - perhaps by the immediate, unreserved nature of her reply. She even thought she saw him blush for a brief moment, but he forged ahead. “Well then, why don’t you go over there,” he caught her shoulders, gently turning her away from him to face the changing rooms, “And let me bring you some things to try on? Something daring, something silly…” He pressed his lips softly to her temple, though for some reason it felt like honest affection more than his usual flirting. “It will be fun, but we do not have to actually buy anything you are not comfortable with. Do we have a deal?”

She glanced back at him and gave him the first real smile he’d seen since they came into the store. “Deal. But nothing too ridiculous, okay?”

“As you say, princess.” He let her go with a smile, and she crossed the shop floor with a little more confidence than she’d had when they arrived. Erik loved style and beautiful things, he was sure to have some good suggestions.

He joined her in the spacious dressing room a few minutes later, arms laden with a rainbow of fabric, and Mika found herself giggling nervously at the choice in front of her. “Where should I start?”

Erik passed her a dress in dark blue satin, and she held it up for examination while he hung the others on the hooks that lined the wall. It would fall to her ankles, more of a formal dress than something for a dinner party, and she was surprised he’d picked it. When she gave him an uncertain look, she was met with a knowing smile. 

“I thought a little something to try for fun, first. It should suit you quite well.” Politely, he turned his back before she could even think to request it. “If you need help, you have only to ask. I promise I won’t peek,” he added cheekily. 

Managing a laugh, Mika quickly stripped off her school clothes and stepped into the ballgown. It hugged over her hips, and flattered her small bust much better than she’d expected. The zip was tricky, but she got it most of the way up before needing help.

“Um, Erik? Could you…?”

“Of course, princess.” There wasn’t even a hint of inappropriateness as he turned and finished zipping the dress for her, hooking the nearly invisible catch in place so it would stay, and she was thankful that he knew where to draw the line. Actually, he’d been relatively well behaved for the whole trip. 

Catching his eyes watching her in the mirror, she gave him a warm smile, which turned into an astonished and oh-so-attractive gape as she took in the image of herself. She looked… Well, she looked like a princess. All she needed was the tiara.

“Ah, there. You’re seeing it are you not?” Erik looked entirely too pleased with himself. “You are a very beautiful woman, Mika.” The use of her actual name drew her gaze back to his reflection, still a little stunned. “It does not matter whether you are in a satin gown, or those jeans you wore to school today. You are, always, so very lovely.” 

Despite her blush, Mika couldn’t quite believe how grown up she looked. She’d thought the dress she’d worn to the party was a fluke, a lucky buy in a sale, and still she’d felt odd in it. Like she was fooling people somehow.

“Now, let’s find you something for tomorrow night, shall we?” She nodded at his suggestion, trying to snap herself out of whatever trance she was in. “I’ll just help you with this.” As he lowered the zip for her, Erik continued to restrain himself from making any comments or advances. He could give James a run for his money at this ‘perfect gentleman’ thing. 

“Do let me know if you need anything else.” His voice was low and warm, and though he immediately turned to give her privacy again, she mentally revised her impression. He _could_ give James a run for his money, but preferred to keep her on her toes. 

Still, she found herself smiling again as she let the satin pool at her feet. They seemed to have found their mutual boundary, she and Erik, and he’d come to recognise when not to push her too hard. Equally, he did seem to know when he could push a little without her protesting. It was… Not comfortable, exactly, but she no longer felt apprehensive, wondering what he was going to do.

After handing the blue gown off to Erik, who held his hand out for it without peeking (as promised), she received a deep red one in its place. “I thought we were avoiding red today?” She asked in amusement, not letting her teasing him stop her from trying it on. 

“I was hoping you’d indulge me,” he replied, his smile clear in his voice. “After all, it’s a very different style.” 

It was that. Mika hadn’t realised until she was looking in the mirror, but it was… Somehow, she had a cleavage, and when she looked down she realised her legs were visible all the way up to mid-thigh.

She wasn’t proud of it, but she squeaked in shock. “I can’t wear this!” 

“May I look, princess?” He took her hesitation as assent, and turned back to see her. “Oh, my. Don’t you look ravishing?” She knew without looking that he’d have that damnable twinkle in his eyes. 

“Erik!”

He laughed warmly, and lifted his hands to her shoulders, squeezing gently in reassurance. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help wondering what you’d think of this one.”

“I…” Mika looked in the mirror again, just for a moment, and shook her head hastily. “It’s not… It’s not me. It’s really, really not.” 

“Such a shame.” He sighed, but didn’t sound either surprised or disappointed. “However, it’s understandable. That sort of dress is best kept for a special someone, anyway,” he added teasingly. 

Blushing furiously, she turned towards him and physically pushed him until he was facing the other way, ignoring his laughter. She was _not_ comfortable in this dress, and wanted to change.

Feeling better with it off, even though she was just in her underwear, she handed the dress back to Erik who happily passed her another. This one was a sort of blue-grey that she’d never have thought to try for herself, patterned with wild roses in pale pink. No, she would not have picked this out from the rail, but she found herself glad that Erik had. Intrigued, She slipped the dress on, and stared at her reflection as she asked Erik for help with the zip again.

It was beautiful. It made _her_ look beautiful. Understated, but gorgeous, the well-fitted bodice flared out into a skirt she thought would be wonderful for dancing in. Completely lost in the way the color complimented her skin tone, making her appear almost ethereal, she completely missed Erik speaking.

“Oh, I’m sorry… What was that?” She didn’t even mind him laughing at her. 

“I was saying you look lovely, and you seem to quite like this one. Is it more ‘you’, princess?” 

She nodded, though her shoulders slumped as she considered what they were shopping for. “It’s not… It wouldn’t be appropriate.” There was that word again, and the demon watched her closely for clues as to what she meant. “The full skirt is… Immature.” He could see her flinch as she spoke, though she thought she’d hidden it well. “Maybe for a garden party or something, but… It’s not suitable for a dinner party.” 

Humming thoughtfully, Erik placed a light hand on her back, keeping his voice easy and pleasant as he tried to guide her away from the longing he could see in her eyes. “There is one more to try before I have to go and find some others to tempt you with. Shall we see if that would be more suited to dinner?”

She bit her lip and nodded, trying not to let herself get disappointed. Maybe she could come back and buy this another time, after saving up some money? Oh, who was she kidding? She had more important things to worry about than a dress she could probably never wear.

She was far less eager to change this time, but the dress Erik passed to her was quite lovely in itself. A warm, rich green that made her think of Sam’s eyes, the slim silk dress somehow made her look more curvaceous than she really was, much like the dress she’d worn for the party had. It was a similar cut in fact, though rather than being plain it featured colorful flowers that felt almost whimsical in design. They appeared as if they were growing from behind her, trailing down her side and spraying out across the skirt. The more she looked at it, the more she liked it. It wasn’t somber and serious, but it was conservative enough to be acceptable, she thought. 

*

Erik watched her appraising herself in the mirror as he awaited her verdict. This trip had proven to be a fascinating study in a woman he and his brothers had come to admire, a feeling which grew in all of them each day that passed. He had learned much about her, like where some of her comfort zones lay, and what she gravitated towards when she was allowed to choose for herself - he would not have assumed pink roses would necessarily appeal to her, and was delighted by the discovery. Unfortunately, he was also finding out just how much she felt she had to suppress her true self for her father, as well how little she thought of her own judgement.

“What do you think?” She finally met his gaze the mirror with a hopeful expression that seemed to be pleading with him, clearly seeking his approval. She liked this dress, too, then. It wasn’t her favorite, but it did look just as lovely, to him. He did truly wish she didn’t feel the need to limit her choices, though.

“It’s wonderful, princess. You will be the picture-perfect hostess, and the envy of everyone present,” he assured her, trying not to will his heart to stop aching quite so much. He wondered how often she actually got to have the things she wanted, as opposed to what her father thought was appropriate.

Determined to see her smile at least once more, he lowered his head to whisper in her ear, holding her gaze in the mirror. “I think Sam will also approve, most especially of the color.”

Mika immediately flushed an almost startling shade of scarlet, even as she tried to hide a smile, and Erik couldn’t help his laughter. “Ah, so I _was_ right about that.” He didn’t want to admit his brothers had discussed it, she was already blushing more than enough. She was also starting to look a little worried, though. “Is there something wrong?”

“No! No. I just… I mean... I’m not sure if…” She sighed and closed her eyes, apparently finding it easier to speak without seeing his reaction. “It’s not going to cause a problem, is it? With you, or the others? We’re all in the same house, and...” She didn’t seem sure how to fully phrase her question, and Erik found it quite charming, particularly as he already understood what she was trying to say. As he watched, she swallowed hard and forced herself to open her eyes again, though she couldn’t quite meet his.

He hooked a gentle finger under her chin, slowly lifting her gaze so she wasn’t looking at her feet. She was such a contradiction, this human - standing up to devils one day, too shy to speak clearly the next. “As wonderful as you are, as much as we may all care for you,” he’d startled her into looking at him now, and gave her a warm, encouraging smile in reward. “We are brothers. We have always been brothers. You will not come between us, if that is your worry.”

She seemed to relax at his assurances, and her blush was finally fading. Satisfied, he released her chin, though not before pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. “I won’t lie, though, I am a little disappointed. However, I don’t think I was ever really in with a chance, was I? Oh no, don’t look like that,” he chided gently. “I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty, but to let you know that I understand. I am an acquired taste,” he added teasingly. 

He didn’t expect her to suddenly hug him, especially not like that, with her arms so strong and fierce around him. It was so unexpected, so genuine, he felt something sting behind his eyes. “You are wonderful,” she insisted, her tone refusing any argument he might make. “Don’t ever settle for anyone who doesn’t see it.”

 _I would say the same to you, princess,_ he thought, slowly lifting his arms to circle her shoulders, _But I already know Sam thinks the world of you, as do we all._ “Thank you,” he murmured, finally finding his actual voice. “We should never settle for less than we deserve, don’t you agree?” She looked up at him with a smile so blinding, Erik found himself wishing they’d had more time together like this before she’d chosen Sam. Maybe… But no, she and Sam were well suited, even if it may not seem like it at first glance. Both fierce, both stubborn, both caring far more than they should in worlds that would prefer them to feel little of substance. They would be good together, as long as Sam didn’t mess things up.

“Come. We should purchase this beautiful dress and get you home. I’m sure Matthew is fretting about dinner already.”

She let him go with a soft laugh. “Alright. Would you put the other dresses back while I get changed?”

“Of course.” He bowed his head a little. “Please, take your time.” 

She had given him the perfect opportunity. While she remained out of sight, Erik approached the stunningly lovely woman who stood behind the counter, bestowing on her his most charming smile. “My friend has chosen a dress for today, but I was wondering if you would hold this back?” He passed over the grey dress that Mika had adored so much. “I would very much like to surprise her with it later.” 

“Of course, sir.” Her own smile sent shivers up his spine, and Erik found himself looking at her properly. Was she…? No, surely not. “What name should I put it under? Yours or your…” She glanced towards the changing rooms with a question in her eyes, “Friend’s?” 

“Erik Anderson,” he offered as an answer. “I think it will be perfect if I can get my brother to actually take her out somewhere. Thank you…?”

“Irene.” Her eyes met his and he had to admit, they were really quite lovely. She seemed pleased to discover that Mika was spoken for by his brother, as well. “We can hold it until the end of the week, is that alright?”

“More than,” he assured. “I should be able to come for it on Thursday.”

“That is a shame.” He blinked at her, not understanding. “I’m not here on Thursdays, you would have to deal with my assistant manager.” 

“...Friday, then,” he murmured, delighted to see her smile return. “I shall be sure to collect it on Friday.”


	10. It Was All Roses, Dripping in Diamonds, Sipping on Champagne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to keep Mika calm before the dinner party, and seems to like her dress. Her father is as lovely as ever. (That's sarcasm. Lots of sarcasm).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Church Bells” by Carrie Underwood.
> 
> Content notes at the end of the chapter.

The rest of the evening had gone smoothly. Damien and Erik had already prepared the house as much as possible, James and Matthew’s menu choices were perfect, and even Simon Tabby seemed to be behaving. The boys had invited Mika to join them for a movie, but she’d reluctantly declined, explaining she didn’t want to fall behind in her school work. So, since she wouldn’t be able to study tomorrow, she’d have to do it all tonight.

Sam had been disappointed, but tried to ignore it. Everything would get back to normal after tomorrow. ...Wait, when had any of this become ‘normal’?

He’d ignored Damien’s knowing smile.

The next morning, wanting to help somehow, Sam got up early and made breakfast. Choosing not to argue in case it stressed Mika out any more than she already was, he kept his objection to James’s surprise down to a glare. Okay, so he didn’t usually cook, that didn’t mean he hadn’t been paying attention! She seemed to appreciate it, anyway, and Sam found himself trying not to grin like an idiot when she thanked him and complimented the food. It wasn’t special, just bacon and eggs, but the way she was acting it was like he’d cooked her a damn feast. She even kissed the top of his head before leaving, and Sam? Sam blushed. He knew what to do with desire, but easy, comfortable affection like this was new. Weird. Not in a bad way! But...

Ugh. Why was this so difficult?

Once she’d gone, he left his brothers to clean up and went out to the back garden. If he was was going to be practicing tai chi with her, he needed to plan out what he was going to teach. Working through the forms himself would calm his mind down, too, but that was just a bonus.

***

When Mika got home from school, everything was already prepared to perfection, but she still looked like she was going to be sick. There was a couple of hours before anyone would show up, and Sam was determined not to let her hide away and study this time. She needed a distraction.

“Hey!” She looked over from where James was assuring her that everything was ready, and Sam was pleased to see her smile a little when she saw him. “Come over here, I need you to help me with something.” 

She thanked James, and walked over to Sam with open curiosity. “What is it?”

He tugged her hand to get her to sit down beside him, and passed her a controller. “I’m going to need help killing this ogre. It’s set up for two, but Matthew’s abandoned me to cook.” Seeing her hesitate, he nudged her with his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you lose track of time or whatever.”

“Alright. But just this ogre, okay?”

“Sure.” He shrugged, but inwardly he was pleased. She needed to think about something else for a bit, even if it was just some stupid ogres in Dungeon Era. Once they’d finished this battle they’d have to hand a quest in, and he was pretty sure he could keep her occupied for at least an hour with side quests.

Turned out he was right, more than he’d imagined, and he’d had to pry the controller out of her hands to get her to stop.

“But there’s one more-” 

“It can wait, doofus. I’ll save it. You should go get ready.” He hated seeing her smile drop like that, and wished he could make this whole mess go away for her. “We can come back to it later if you need to kick something’s ass.” He’d managed to get her to smile again, a little, and got a kiss on the cheek in return.

“Thanks, Sam. I think I needed this.”

“Ah… It’s fine.” God, why did she keep making him blush? He was a grown-ass demon, not some stupid kid! “I figured you needed a break, so…” 

“You figured right.” Her smile brightened again, and she just looked at him for a minute. He thought maybe she was thinking about kissing him, but she abruptly got up off the couch and headed for the stairs, calling out to the others that she was going to get ready.

Sam slouched back into the cushions with a sigh. He should probably go and make himself useful. There had to be _something_ he could do to help.

***

There was no Naomi or Suzu to give her extra support this time, so a little before her parents were due to arrive, Erik had gone upstairs. Sam hadn’t even noticed right away, not until they were gathered by the front door and they were short a demon.

“He said something about helping with her hair?” Matthew shrugged, then pulled at his jacket again to make sure it was sitting right. 

Sam didn’t like the feeling squatting in his chest. Why was Erik with her? They’d spent several hours together the day before. Was she rethinking who she wanted to be… Giving energy to? Maybe he’d read too much into what she’d said about not wanting him to go somewhere else for it. James had seemed sure she’d chosen Sam, but what if-?

His thoughts cut off abruptly as she appeared at the top of the stairs. She was holding Erik’s arm, allowing him to escort her, and the incubus looked entirely too pleased with himself. But Sam barely registered his brother at all. 

She was _gorgeous_. Somehow she’d found a dress in the perfect green - _his_ green - and it made those beautiful eyes shine brighter than ever. Her hair was pinned back from her face, a complete change to her usual style, with just a few strands left loose to curl softly around her throat. They drew his attention to the long stretch of perfect, creamy skin, and made him want to taste it. _Need_ to. Holy fuck. 

They stopped in front of him, and Erik let her go with a slight bow, as if presenting her to Sam for his approval. Oh, Sam approved. Sam approved a lot. Not that he could tell her that while he lacked control of his tongue.

“I think you’ve rendered him speechless, princess.” Erik’s teasing made her blush, but broke Sam out of his trance. 

“You… You look really good.” The words were completely inadequate, but she seemed to understand what he meant from the softness in his voice, and blushed even harder.

“Th-Thank you.” God, she was adorable when she was flustered. “I hoped… I mean...” She looked down, smoothing her hands over the skirt.

“She hoped you’d like the color,” Erik put in helpfully, making Mika blush even harder. They could hear her curse at Erik under her breath, and Matthew and Damien were both trying to hide their smiles. 

So she _had_ picked it on purpose. Sam reached out for her hand, squeezing it in what he hoped was a reassuring way. It seemed to work, as she looked up again, fighting shyness to meet his eyes.

“It’s perfect.” Holy shit, the smile she gave him. He was grinning back like a total dumbass, and he didn’t even care.

They had a few more moments to stare at each other like lovesick idiots before James cleared his throat. “Ah, miss? I’m sorry to interrupt, but your parents will be here soon.” 

Well, that went over like a bucket of cold water. She immediately tensed and tried to pull her hand free, but Sam held onto it for a moment. “Hey.” He waited for her to look at him again. “We’re all here for you, okay? There’s nothing to be scared of.”

She gave him a strange look he couldn’t decipher, but before he could ask about it, the doorbell rang. It was time.

***

There was no need to sway her parents the moment then stepped in the house - they already knew there were servants now, after all - so David Anderson’s real attitude was displayed from the moment he set foot inside. He’d given Mika’s dress a disapproving look and called it frivolous, but acknowledged with an irritated sigh that nothing could be done about it now, as the board members were due to arrive any minute. That had knocked her off her game, even with her mother trying to assure her she looked lovely, and Sam had almost cracked something as he clenched his teeth to stay quiet. She looked amazing! Fit to grace a royal court, and he’d fucking know. What was her father playing?

Damien roped him into helping with pre-dinner drinks as the other guests arrived, probably to keep him quiet, but he found himself wishing he could be with her. He wanted to be by her side to support her, not stuck out of reach and out of earshot, watching her strained smile as she tried to maintain conversations with people as dull as dirt.

“You’re staring,” Damien whispered. “Someone will notice.” 

Growling under his breath, Sam forced himself to refocus on his task, willing the evening to pass quickly. If he couldn’t help her with this, he could at least avoid causing trouble.

Matthew announced dinner, and it was a relief to watch everyone file away into the dining room. 

“She’s doing well.” Damien didn’t have to whisper this time, and Sam didn’t have to pretend he wasn’t aggravated as hell. “Really, everyone’s impressed.”

Sam raised an eyebrow in challenge. “ _Everyone_?” He wasn’t surprised when Damien dropped his gaze. “What is his problem? Everything’s perfect!”

“I think that might actually be his problem.” They both looked up as James joined the conversation. “He’s got nothing to pick apart, but he doesn’t want to think she might actually be capable of being independent, so he invents things to undermine her.”

“That sounds right,” Damien agreed softly. “He didn’t like the dress, not because it was unsuitable, but because it’s not something he would have chosen for her.” 

“If she can think for herself, he loses his control,” James murmured, a thread of steel behind his quiet tone. 

Sam rolled his head forward, trying to release some tension from his neck even as his hands curled into fists. “Man, I want to kick his ass.” James started to warn him off, but Sam shook his head sharply to dismiss it. “I know, alright? I know.”

“Maybe you should stay behind the scenes for a while.” That was James’s diplomatic way of telling him to stay out of sight until he calmed down. While it might be a good idea, he didn’t want her thinking he’d abandoned her. 

“She won’t,” assured Damien. “Though we do need to get to the kitchen and help serve before we’re missed. You can help in there.”

Grumbling, Sam agreed. For now. 

***

The desserts and coffees had come out, and while Mika expertly negotiated a conversation with two board members who wanted to talk about company finances, her father had excused himself and slipped away. 

He might just be going to the bathroom, but Sam didn’t trust the man as far as he could- well, as far as Matthew could throw him. It was easy to follow someone when you could move faster than they could see, but even so, he didn’t have to do it for long. What was her father doing going into the study?

Rather than confront him right away, Sam peeked through the door. There _could_ be a good reason for him to be in there. Maybe. Probably not. It would be best if he could find out what Dickbag was after, though.

Sure enough, Mr. Anderson started rifling through drawers. He didn’t seem to find anything of interest, but when he came across one that was locked, he started feeling around the desk for a key. He was clearly in a hurry, because he didn’t spend much time on that, and switched to trying to force the lock instead. 

Enough was enough. Sam stepped into the room, and cleared his throat. Startled, her father caught his hand with whatever he was using to break into the desk, and yelped. Before Sam could even open his mouth to speak, Dickbag was already on the defensive.

“What do you think you’re doing? Shouldn’t you be serving coffee?” 

“Shouldn’t you be drinking it?” James would probably have handled this situation with much more finesse, but Sam was just about done with this guy already. “What are you looking for?”

“How dare you! This is none of your business!” The human drew himself up to his full height, probably trying to look important or something. Sam had been around much more intimidating people than this since he was _born_ , and wasn’t concerned in the slightest.

“Well, you’re going through Ms. Anderson’s things, obviously without her permission. I’d say it _is_ my business.” Sam folded his arms, enjoying the flicker of uncertainty in her father’s expression.

“Interference from the help is _not_ required. Go back to your work, and don’t involve yourself in things that don’t concern you, or you’ll be looking for a new job.” 

“You can’t fire me,” Sam scoffed. 

“My daughter will, when I tell her about this.” 

“You won’t tell her about this, because then she’ll ask you why you were in here. Which I still want to know.” 

The man paled slightly, but kept his haughty posture as he stepped around the desk and headed for the door. “I don’t have time for this.” 

“I bet you don’t,” Sam muttered, debating whether to force the truth out now or let it go while guests were in the house. 

His decision was made for him when Damien appeared at the doorway, greeting David Anderson with a slight bow. “I’m sorry to interrupt, sir, but some of the guests are ready to leave. Ms. Anderson was wondering if you wished to say goodbye?”

Damien led the man away, leaving Sam alone, staring at the desk. He knew he could force the drawer, but should he? It might not even contain what her father was looking for. But, if it did… He shook his head. No, he’d talk to her first. It was her stuff now, she should decide what to do with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> David Anderson's in this chapter, though actual interaction with Mika is limited. The boys grab a moment to discuss him too, and his controlling behaviour. It's a pretty short section, though.
> 
> In other news, Mika with games (But there’s one more quest to do! Don't make me stop!) might be me. A little.


	11. And There Were Rows of Ripe Tomatoes Where a Secret Was Concealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tells Mika what he saw, and she needs to figure it out. They also tease each other a bit, just because they can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from “The Calendar Hung Itself” by Bright Eyes.

Her father had left with surprisingly little to say, good or bad, and Mika looked extremely relieved as she sank down to sit on the stairs.

“Thank God that’s over.” 

“You did really well!” Matthew enthused. “Everyone seemed happy!”

“That was probably more to do with your cooking,” she told him with a tired smile. “But thank yo-” Breaking off into a yawn, she covered her mouth and closed her eyes, allowing the boys to share a look without her noticing. 

“Come on.” Sam approached and held out a hand for her. “Let’s get you to bed. You look like you could use some sleep.” 

She took his hand with a smile and stood up on the bottom step, putting them at almost the same height. Her mouth was temptingly close when they stood like this, but before he could take advantage, she frowned. “What about Dungeon Era?” 

“I think it can wait ‘til tomorrow,” he replied dryly. Before she could protest, he slipped an arm behind her knees and scooped her up. “Nope. Bed.” 

Her soft laugh as she let herself relax against his shoulder told him he was doing the right thing, and he smiled to himself as she waved goodnight to the others. She was really sort of cute like this, relaxed, and kind of fuzzy around the edges.

He set her back on her feet at her bedroom door rather than assume anything, but she didn’t seem to mind him coming inside. In fact, she practically dragged him through the door, pulling him straight into a tight hug, and burying her face against his shoulder. Surprised, he wrapped his arms around her and started rubbing her back in hesitant circles. He wanted to reassure her, but didn’t know if this was the right way to do it.

“Hey.” He tried speaking instead. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s done.” He felt her nod, and heard a soft, muffled sigh. She turned her head enough so she could speak, but didn’t seem inclined to actually let go. Not that he was complaining.

“You’ve been amazing. All of you,” she added, as usual not wanting to take anyone for granted. “Thank you.” 

Dammit, he could feel himself blush again. “I didn’t really do much. It was all James and Matthew. And Erik, I guess. Damien-” 

“You were here,” she replied simply, lifting her head to look at him again. “You helped by being here. Can I ask you something?”

He shrugged and nodded. “Sure.” As he looked at her, she dropped her gaze and frowned, like she was rethinking it. “Don’t get shy on me now, what is it?” The look she shot him then was exasperated, but that was better than a frown, so he’d take it. 

“I just… Before my parents arrived. You said I didn’t have to be scared.” She frowned again, like she was trying to word her question the right way. “Why did you say that?”

“Because it’s true.” He shrugged a shoulder, not really comfortable being quite this blunt about caring so much. But, she needed it, so: “You know we’d never let anything happen to you.” Her quick smile told him that while she appreciated the answer, he hadn’t quite understood what she was asking, confusing him further.

“I mean… Why that? Why not ‘don’t get so stressed out’ or ‘don’t worry’? Did I… Did I seem scared?”

That question threw him for a loop. He had no idea what she was expecting to hear, or what she _wanted_ to hear. At a loss, his gaze slid to the side as he tried to think, but her fingers brushed his cheek to bring his eyes back to her.

“I don’t... I don’t know what you want me to say,” he admitted. “I mean, you seemed so freaked out! It looked like… But I didn’t mean you couldn’t handle it, or whatever.” He started to release her from the hug, but she just held him tighter.

“No one’s ever noticed before.”

Sam’s brain skidded to a stop, and he found himself staring. She dropped her gaze again, but didn’t let go. “I mean, Naomi and Suzu know he can be difficult, and Mom knows he and I fight.” That was one way to put it, Sam thought. “I guess… Most people seem to think he’s strict, but that’s all. All those board members, they like him and think he’s great! And I…”

He felt his heart twist as she looked up at him, grateful that he… What? Wasn’t making excuses for that Dickbag? Wasn’t telling her to suck it up?

“I guess I’m just not used to to it,” she finished quietly. “People seeing through that.” 

“You know, we don’t ever have to let him come here again.” He hadn’t meant to sound quite so growly, but even as her eyes widened in surprise, she was giving him a sad smile. 

“There’s still my mom. I don’t want to lose her.” Sam hadn’t seen her mom do anything to help, so privately he thought Mika might be better off without either of them. But, it was her mother, and he understood that kind of bond - especially when your dad’s an asshole. “And he _is_ my father,” she continued. “I don’t want… It won’t help to make a big deal out of it.”

Sam bit his tongue, not wanting to lose his temper. It wasn’t _her_ he was mad at. “I don’t think you should worry about that,” he said carefully. “But okay. You should know, though, I found him going through the study while everyone was having coffee.”

That seemed to surprise her, and she pulled away to sit on the edge of her bed, brow furrowed in thought. Jeez, she even looked pretty when she was frowning like that. “Do you know what he was looking for?”

“No. There was a locked drawer he was trying to get into, but I stopped him before he could do any damage.” To the desk, or to Mika’s privacy.

She was still looking confused though, so she probably didn’t know what was in the drawer either. 

“I should go and look-” She stood, but he caught her hand before she could get to the door. 

“No, you should sleep. The study, like Dungeon Era, will still be there tomorrow.” For a moment he thought she was going to get stubborn with him, but then she yawned again and he smirked at her.

“Fine! Fine, I should sleep.” Her grumbling was half-hearted at best, but then she was giving him this wicked little smile he’d never seen from her before, and turning around. “Unzip me?”

Oh. “Um. ...Sure.” 

Hesitantly, Sam reached for the little metal tab, careful not to pull to hard and rip it or something. Not that ripping her dress off would be _bad_... No. No ripping, Sam. He took a deep breath and shoved his instincts down, hyper aware of the smooth and tempting expanse of skin being revealed. As soon as he was done, he stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets to try and distance himself from the temptation. Watching her turn to him with mischief in her eyes while holding her dress up with one hand? That wasn’t helping. He could feel his eyes flashing gold as he struggled with his control.

Her expression changed, and he kicked himself for letting himself slip even that much, but she didn’t look worried. On the contrary, she stepped towards him with a smile and pushed herself up on her toes. When her lips touched his, Sam growled, but kept his hands where they were with sheer force of will. 

“Sam, it’s okay.” He kept his eyes closed, trying to think clearly. She said it was okay, but she sounded nervous. He didn’t budge. “I’m. I’m sorry.” She stepped away, taking all the warmth in the room with her. “I didn’t mean to… I should sleep.” 

Opening his eyes again, he took in her apologetic expression, and it made him feel like shit. He wet his lips, and imagined he could taste the kiss she’d given him. “I don’t know if I could stop myself right now.” Her eyes widened, and he wasn’t sure if he was seeing fear or not. The thought that she might be afraid of him cooled him down significantly, and he let out a slow breath. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he promised. It was intended as reassurance, but it also worked as explanation for his hesitation. If he wasn’t sure of himself, he wasn’t willing to risk it.

“I know.” There she went with that dazzling smile again, the one he still couldn’t believe was aimed at him. “I just… I’m not sure what I’m ready for,” she admitted in a rush. “I didn’t mean to tease you so badly.” 

Shaking his head, Sam stepped closer and finally freed a hand to cup her cheek. “It’s okay. Just don’t forget…” His eyes flashed again, and she whimpered softly, flushing with the heat he was pushing through her. “I _am_ a demon.” 

Smirking, he lowered his head to kiss her, slow and deep, repaying her teasing in full before pulling away and letting the enthrallment drop. He kinda felt like he’d played himself though, the way she was looking at him, all dark eyes and panting for breath. Fuck. 

He forced that smirk back in place. “Sleep well.” Resisting the urge to look down and see if she’d dropped her dress, he stepped around her and left the room before he could be tempted any further. 

Hearing her laugh and curse at him through the door, Sam grinned to himself. It was going to be a long night for him, but hey, at least she was feeling better. 

***

Sam had certainly helped, but Mika’s night was still a restless one. It was hard to entirely let go of the stress she felt around her father, and on top of that, there was the question of what he’d been doing in the study. David Anderson had hated his father, what did he want with any of his papers?

Giving up on sleep a full hour before her alarm was due to go off, she dressed for the day and snuck quietly down to the study. There was no reason to keep anything a secret, but she didn’t want to risk waking the boys, especially after all they’d done in the last two days to pull the dinner party together. They deserved their rest.

The sun hadn’t risen yet, so she had to turn the lights on, bathing the study in a warm glow that was more welcoming than she’d expected. Her father’s study was all sleek modern furniture and harsh lights. This one was homier, though she hadn’t spent much time in it before now. The desk was old, solid wood, and in almost perfect condition. There were a couple of small scratches from years of use, but her grandfather had always taken care of his surroundings. Not to the obsessive level her father had, where even a fingerprint on glass was cause for anger, but with appreciation for what he had. 

There were a few new scratches now around one of the drawers, and she assumed that’s where her father had tried to force the lock. Sure enough, that drawer was stuck fast and wouldn’t open. She couldn’t even see where a key would go into it. 

Searching the other drawers for a clue, she found a laptop, which surprised her. She thought remembered her grandfather preferring books and paper. Then again, he had been CEO of a large company, and she supposed computer was a much better way to organise work for executives. A necessary evil, perhaps. 

Curiosity got the better of her, and she opened the computer up to see what her grandfather had used it for. Sure enough, there were several folders pertaining to Anderson toys, but there was also one that she couldn’t identify at all. When she tried to open it, she was faced with a retinal scanning security lock. 

What the hell?

Figuring she had nothing to lose, she let it scan her eye on the off chance her grandfather had… What, somehow taken a picture of her retina? This was ridiculous, she-

The locked drawer clicked beside her.

No way.

The drawer opened easily when she tried it, and Mika was at a complete loss. How had her grandfather planned for this? He must have meant her to find it, but how did he key the lock to her? This was all so weird. 

One of the books looked strange, so she began with what seemed like a journal. Maybe she could get some idea of what the hell was going on. Except that as she tried to read it, the words seemed to blur together, nothing solid forming in her mind. She just got snippets of information, some words in Latin. Was it magic? An awareness grew in her mind. She could feel the energy around the house, around herself, and it seemed to pulse like a heartbeat. She also realised that she, herself, felt energised, like she’d had a great night’s sleep and it was Christmas morning or something.

Without realising what she was doing, she closed the book, replaced it, and shut the drawer again. Hearing it lock in place brought her back to her surroundings, and Mika stared at the locked drawer in disbelief. What _was_ that?

Turning to the computer to unlock it again, she was overcome with a strong sense that she _shouldn’t_. After a few moments of hesitation, she decided to listen to that instinct. She could always come back to it later.

A glance at the time told her that she must have been reading for nearly an hour. What the hell? If she wanted breakfast before going to school, she’d have to hurry.


	12. And She Takes Another Step, Slowly She Opens the Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between her friends and her grandfather's spirit, Mika's given a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Two Beds and a Coffee Machine” by Savage Garden.

Thursday had been blessedly uneventful, so far. No tests, no run-ins with Lisette, nothing remotely difficult or stressful, except for an unbearably boring economics class before lunch. It had been a week since her grandfather died, she realised. So much had happened in that week. Too much to process, but not all of it bad. 

Not at all. She thought of Sam, and the way he’d looked at her last night when she’d come downstairs in the dress that reminded her of his eyes. Then the way he’d looked after kissing her goodnight, when his green eyes tinted gold and she’d been half-certain… How would she have felt, if he had taken it further? She really wasn’t sure. She seemed to be more than a meal to him - had to be, or he wouldn’t have stopped after she’d given him the opening - but he was an incubus, didn’t that mean he’d want more? He fed on sexual energy after all, would denying him hurt him or something?

“Ms. Anderson.” 

Guiltily, Mika jerked her attention back to the teacher. Damn, she’d been daydreaming again. “Yes?”

“Would you care to define the phrase on the board?” Her teacher was always trying to catch her out. If she hadn’t insisted on studying after dinner on Tuesday, Mika might actually have lost this round.

From what she remembered… “Volatility smiles are implied volatility patterns that arise in pricing financial options.” 

“Very good, Ms. Anderson.” Turning back to the board, the teacher went on to explain volatility and skews, and the shortcomings of the Black-Scholes formula in relation to... Mika was extremely relieved when the bell rang.

As usual, Suzu was out of the room the moment the bell went, but Naomi hung back while she packed their things away. 

“Is everything alright?”

Mika wondered if the rollercoaster of her life was somehow visible now. “Sure, why wouldn’t it be?” She shouldered her bag and led Naomi to catch up with Suzu.

“Well, we’ve barely seen you outside of school, and giving you lifts. How are you getting on in that big house?” 

“Yeah, Anderson.” Suzu had been waiting just outside the classroom. “With five _servants_? How lucky are you?!”

“Suzu!”

“What, Naomi? Like you weren’t thinking it!” Suzu fanned herself dramatically. “Living alone with five hot guys to run around after you? It’s like a dream.”

Mika was blushing a particularly bright shade of red. She couldn’t tell her friends what the boys were. Could she at least talk about Sam? That would probably seem really inappropriate, wouldn’t it? She moves into her grandfather’s house right after she dies and starts… Something… With one of his servants? Her life was way too complicated, and she began to realise that she couldn’t talk about it with her friends anymore. 

The thought made her extremely sad.

“Hello, earth to Anderson! What _have_ you been doing with those guys?” Suzu was teasing, but she was also giving Mika that look that meant she was concerned. If Mika knew her, and she did, the fierce little Italian was about five seconds away from offering to defend her honor if one of the guys had tried something. 

“Huh? Nothing!” Oh, she hated how easily she blushed. “It’s not… Dad made me have a dinner party last night. We spent a couple of days preparing for that, so it’s just been a lot of work.” 

“A dinner party? He only had you throw that house warming a few days ago.” Naomi was frowning now. “Why throw a dinner party so soon?”

“He wants the Anderson Toys board to get to know me,” she explained, grateful for the change of topic. “I need to show them how well I handle everything so they’ll accept me as CEO.”

“Is he still on that?” Suzu made a rude noise, ignoring Naomi’s protest. “Tell him it’s your house! He can’t push you around anymore.”

“He still pays some of the bills,” Mika admitted. “Electricity and water, and I need his help to pay for college.” 

“So take out a loan, like we will!” 

She could do that. Somehow, the thought of being completely independent was as terrifying as it was liberating. 

“Leave her alone, Suzu. Let her do what’s right for her!” 

Mika let her friends bicker around her while they made their way to the lunch room. What _was_ right for her?

***

When she got home, Mika forgot all her worries almost instantly. It was hard to worry about anything serious when Sam and Matthew were having a _tickle fight_ on the living room floor. 

“What the…”

“I’m sorry, miss.” James stepped up beside her, watching them with a pained expression. “I think it started when Sam wouldn’t give Matthew a turn.”

“Better a tickle fight than a real fight.” She flashed James a grin, and he looked like he wasn’t sure whether he should despair of her being on their side, or give in and smile with her. “Come on, James, it could be worse!”

Even as she spoke, there was a thud, and she looked over just in time to see a lamp falling off a side table. 

Sam caught it just before it hit the floor. Looking up towards the door, he smiled at her sheepishly. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She smirked at the matching expressions on the culprits’ faces. “I hear this was over whose turn it was to play?” 

When they nodded, Mika stepped around the couch and sat down, claiming the controller for herself. “Almost breaking a lamp means you both forfeit to me.”

“Hey!” 

The joint outrage made her laugh as she cued up a new game. “All’s fair in love and war,” she teased. “That includes fights over the PlayBox. What have you guys been doing all day, anyway?” Sam and Matthew looked at each other, and then at the TV. “Well it’s _definitely_ my turn, then.”

Sighing, Matthew got up and brushed himself down. “I should probably plan what’s for dinner anyway. James made lunch.” 

She gave him a little wave over her shoulder as she heard him leave, but looked away from the screen to Sam when she felt the couch dip beside her.

“You’re seriously not even going to let me play Dungeon Era with you?”

“Nope.” She grinned at his annoyed expression. “That would defeat the purpose of taking the turn away from _both_ of you.”

Sam sighed and leaned back into the couch, unable to think of a good argument. He stayed quiet for a few minutes, watching as she navigated the game’s introduction sequence, before speaking up again. 

“Hey. Um. You weren’t in your room this morning. But you were the last one to breakfast. Did you go and look in the study?”

Sam knew her far too well for only knowing her a week. Mika paused the game and nodded, her eyes still on the screen as she tried to figure out how to explain. “Yeah. I…” Setting the controller aside, she toed her shoes off and tucked her knees up. “The drawer, it had his journal in it. There was something weird… Like Latin.” 

“Latin?” Sam was frowning now. “Like, history books?”

“No.” She wrapped her arms around her knees, still a little unsure how to process all of it. “Like magic.”

He was quiet, processing. “So, your grandfather knew magic?” 

“I don’t know! I mean, I guess he must have known something about it. I don’t really remember what I read though, it was all…” She closed her eyes, trying to recall the feeling. “I can’t remember any of the actual words, but I feel like I know stuff. Something. Oh, I don’t know. It was weird. Then I locked the book away again before I could finish it, and I don’t even know why. I felt like I shouldn’t look at it again.”

“Do you still feel like that?” He was looking at her intently, and part of her became afraid, though she wasn’t sure exactly what she was frightened of. Should she somehow understand more of this? Everything was so confusing. Should she be scared of her grandfather’s magic books?

Mika breathed out slowly and tried to focus only on the desk drawer. That felt fine. The computer, the books, it all felt fine now. “No. I don’t think so.”

“You want to try looking at it again? I don’t know much about this stuff, but Erik and James are pretty good with magic, they might be able to help.” She looked over at him to see worry clearly written in his face. He didn’t expect her to know everything, he just wanted to help. Of course he did. Why would he think she should understand it all? That made no sense, Mika.

“I could do. You think I should?” 

“Only if you want to.” Still looking at her with concern, he reached over to tuck some hair behind her ear. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She smiled. “It’s just weird, you know?” 

“Yeah.” He didn’t entirely get it, she could tell from his expression, but he was willing to trust her. That felt… She didn’t have words, but it made her want to kiss him. Before she could, he shook his head as if to clear it. “Want me to go get James?” 

She nodded, letting the moment pass. “I’ll get the book.” Immediately, Mika realised she was reluctant to take it away from it’s safe place. “Meet me in the study?”

Sam agreed, and Mika left the room to seek out her grandfather’s books once more.

Sure enough, she didn’t feel any reluctance at opening the drawer beyond her own inexplicable nerves, and she had the journal sitting on the desk when Sam and James arrived. 

“Are we sure this is wise, miss?” James looked even more concerned than Sam, and Mika felt a knot form in her stomach as she looked down at the book. 

Then, out of nowhere, she felt a warm breeze touch her cheek. Covering the spot with her hand in surprise, she looked up at the brothers. “Did you guys feel that?”

“Feel what?” Sam was looking at her askance, but she felt calm. Peaceful. Everything would be fine.

Smiling to reassure them, she looked back at the book with renewed confidence. “It’s okay. My grandfather wanted me to have this.” 

The moment she opened the book, Mika was aware of a sudden change in the atmosphere. The air grew still and silent, and when she tried to lift her hand to turn the page, it wouldn’t budge. Instinctively, she looked up at Sam and James for help, only to find they were completely frozen in place, unable to even move their heads or speak. Mika was the was the only one who could move at all. It was like time had stopped. Had the book done this? She tried again to move, even just a finger, but felt herself stuck fast. 

Another whisper of wind caught her attention, and a floating orb of purple light appeared at her side. It glowed gently, making her feel warm and content, and yet strangely sad. Could it be… 

“Grandfather?”

The violet light slowly morphed into an image of her grandfather, making her breath catch in her throat.

“I guess it was a good idea to bring the incubi here, after all.” 

“What...? Is it really you? What do you mean?” Caught between the urgent need to know what was going on, and her joy-tempered grief at being able to speak to her beloved grandfather again, she was almost breathless. Would he explain? Would she finally understand?

Apparently, he was quite willing to answer her questions, and she hung on every word as he patiently explained what had happened: Why he’d learned demon magic, how he’d helped the boys come to the human world. As the explanations became revelations, though, her own pain broke through, too sharp to ignore.

He had brought the boys here, but it had killed him. _WHY?!_ She wanted to scream in anger, and demanded answers through her tears, but all her grandfather could do was assure her his sacrifice hadn’t been intentional. He hadn’t meant to leave her alone.

“But, now that I’m gone, you have a chance to find yourself without anything hindering you.”

“...What?” She felt so lost.

“Your father had always been so hard on you…” He continued, gently trying to help her understand what fears had driven her father all these years. But while what he said made some sense, she felt like her grandfather had underestimated just how ‘driven’ her father had become. Now wasn’t the time for recriminations, and she tried to hold it into her mind that her father had his reasons, his fear of magic and demons pushing him to control what she was exposed to - and by extension, her. “He wanted to protect you at all costs, even if that meant he became a monster to you himself.” 

Some protection.

The incubi had come back to town when they learned her grandfather had died. It was what brought them into conflict with Malix. They hadn’t known the estate was her grandfather’s when his spirit led them there, and she thought she should probably tell them. Would they be even more protective over her, knowing what her grandfather had done for them? Not wanting to be a burden on them as they tried to find their place in this world, the thought made her sad. She had so much new information, she had no idea how to process it without asking for their help, but she had no idea if she should.

As if wanting to prove her wrong about what counted as ‘too much information’, her grandfather bent over to kiss her forehead, all at once filling her mind with everything he could pass on. Spells, demonic magic, the history of the arcane… He assured her he didn’t expect anything, she could make her own choices, but her mind was still racing with everything he’d given her as he turned to walk away. 

“Wait! Please!” Despite her pleas, he faded from view. Exhausted, and feeling more alone than she had since her father had dropped her on the doorstep, Mika burst into tears.


	13. His Home Is His Castle, and Mine Is a Cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika explains about her grandfather to James and Sam, but then Sam says something that hits a raw nerve. Damien helps her deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “A Man’s Home is His Castle” by Faith Hill.
> 
> Content note at the end for those who want/need it!

Even for Sam, the change had been too fast to follow. One moment she had been smiling and convinced everything was fine, the next she was sobbing, crying her heart out over the book James had been wary of messing with. What the fuck happened?

He was crouched beside her in a blink, trying to see if she was hurt, or injured or something. He did not expect her to launch herself into his lap, and the sudden move landed him on his ass, her arms wrapped around his neck as she soaked his shoulder in tears. Completely at a loss, he turned his dumbfounded expression on his brother, barely even aware he’d started stroking her hair.

“What the hell?”

James shook his head, as confused as Sam, and watched Mika with obvious concern. He tried to see if he could pick out any reason for this sudden change, but nothing presented itself.

“I… I’m okay.” Her stumbling reassurance did little to stop either man worrying. 

“Hey.” Sam tried to tuck her hair back so he could see her face, but she ducked her head, trying to… What? Hide her tears? “Hey. Look at me, doofus.” The soft cough she let out could have been a sob or a laugh, but she did lift her head, drying her eyes roughly with her sleeve. He wasn’t really sure what to do with a crying woman, but he was pretty sure wiping her tears away more gently than that should be on the to-do list. Brushing her hand aside, he smoothed the remaining tear tracks away with the pad of his thumb. “That’s better. You gonna tell us what happened?”

“Sorry.” Her face, already a little pink from scrubbing away tears, flushed further. “I didn’t mean to...” She looked up at James, remembering he was there. “It was my grandfather. He was here. He… He spoke to me.”

“We didn’t see anything.” Sam wasn’t disbelieving, exactly, but he was fucking confused.

“Time sort of… Stopped. I don’t know how, or why. Maybe my grandfather did it? Maybe I did it somehow? I don’t...” Her gaze turned back to Sam, full of something he couldn’t recognise. “Did you know? That he was the one who brought you here?”

Sam was pretty sure his heart stopped. “...What?”

“He was the one who brought you to this world.” Mika looked up at James again, who seemed as stricken as Sam. “He led Damien to the house when you were injured, too. He wanted you to be safe.”

Maybe he did, but Sam was pretty damn sure the man hadn’t meant for any of them to be messing with his granddaughter. He was trapped in place with her on his lap, but the urge to distance himself out of respect for the man was growing. As if she could sense his tension, her eyes tracked back to his. “Sam? It’s okay. He’s not sorry he brought you here.” 

Really? Sam had his doubts, but she pinned him with her gaze until he nodded. If he had to agree with her for now, so be it. 

“Miss?” James flushed a bit, apparently feeling awkward about interrupting. “Did he tell you about the book?”

At the reminder, Mika disentangled herself from Sam, and got to her feet beside the desk. She ran her fingers over the journal, then closed it with a small smile. “Yes. It was meant for me. He wanted me to be able to choose for myself. My father-” Abruptly, she stopped and looked away from both of them, jaw clenching a little as she thought about it. “My father found out he was learning magic, talking to demons… That’s why they never spoke. He thought my grandfather was a monster, and wanted to keep me as far away from him as possible.”

The brothers shared a look, and Sam stood up beside her. “But you knew your grandfather?”

“Only because I went to find him by myself. After school one day.” She shook her head at the memory, but another little smile appeared. “I was so young… I got lost trying to find my own way to him, but somehow I just ran into him on the street. I knew right away it was him. After that, my mother insisted I should at least get to spend some time with him.” The fights at home had been horrible, and her fragile smile vanished. “Dad hated it. I never knew why.

“Do you think he was trying to find your grandfather’s spell books?” James asked carefully.

“I know he was.” Mika sighed deeply, and slid the book back into the drawer. “He didn’t want to risk me finding finding any of it and making my own decision. He thought magic was evil, and wanted to protect me.” 

There was an edge to her voice that made Sam’s chest ache. He was all too familiar with the resentment and pain behind that kind of anger. “He thought he was doing the right thing.”

He immediately knew he’d screwed up when Mika gave him a look that felt worse than one of her punches. Angry, betrayed, and hurt, her glare had almost physical force. _Fuck, Sam, you’re an idiot._

“I think what my brother is trying to say...” James interrupted cautiously, before Sam could dig himself a deeper hole. “...Is that it sounds like he started with good intentions, about your grandfather at least. However, it seems like it became something of an obsession for him over the years.” 

She was looking at James with a strange expression Sam couldn’t place for the life of him, though it looked familiar. Had he seen it before? A memory of talking to her in the lobby crossed his mind. She was wearing the green dress, no one had arrived yet… He’d said she didn’t have to be scared.

“We’ve all noticed,” Sam said, intending to confirm her thoughts. “He’s an asshole.”

She swallowed hard and stepped back from the desk, away from both him and James. What the fuck had he done wrong now?

“I need...” Abruptly, Mika dashed past James and out of the room. They could hear her footsteps on the stairs a moment later.

Sam was still none the wiser.

“I don’t think you should have called her father an asshole like that.” James sounded tired.

“Why? It’s true. She knows it’s true.” She’d been thanking him for seeing it last night, and now she was running away from him? He really didn’t get it.

“Still, throwing it in her face-”

“That’s not what I was doing!” Sam snapped back. “I was trying to let her know it wasn’t a secret, alright? That we could help her!” 

“Maybe she’s used to it being a secret.” James sighed, and left the room, going to do whatever he did when he needed to calm down. Probably weed the garden.

Sam still didn’t get it. All he knew was that he was worried, and that he’d upset Mika. Fuck. How did he fix this?

***

Damien had heard her distress when it started. Abrupt, completely out of nowhere, her thoughts had suddenly been filled with grief and frustration. He tried not to listen, he really did, but to hear her usually even ‘voice’ so distressed was difficult to ignore, even from the other side of the mansion. 

Her grandfather. Oh, he felt like an idiot. He should have figured it out when the spirit of their benefactor had helped them find this mansion. The coincidence was obvious in hindsight - her grandfather dying around the same time as the warlock who’d brought them to this world, that same man’s spirit guiding them to the house she had inherited. All the signs were there, why hadn’t he seen it?

A few minutes later, the tone of her thoughts changed again. They didn’t sound angry, or upset, not exactly. They were, however, coming in a rush, racing through her mind too fast for him to catch. He could tell James and Sam weren’t following her, and he was uncertain if he should interrupt. If they thought she needed to be alone, maybe he was better letting her have her space? 

He couldn’t do it. He’d never heard a human’s thoughts like this - fragmented, circling back around on themselves, repeating and sounding like… Panic? Sustained panic, that’s what this reminded him of. Still, he paused at her door, second-guessing himself until he managed to separate out some of the words swirling through her mind. _Weak. Useless. Pathetic._ He couldn’t quite follow it all, but Damien could not let this continue. 

He knocked. There was no immediate answer, but her thoughts seemed louder than ever. She assumed he was Sam, and didn’t want Sam to see her like this. 

Urgently needing to reassure her, he was quick to correct her assumption. “It’s Damien.” He’d thought that would help, but it didn’t, as she immediately realised he could hear all her thoughts. And now, he could hear her hyperventilating through the door, too.

Enough. He couldn't wait to be let in anymore. He went straight to her side and knelt by the bed, where she was curled up in the fetal position. 

“Mika? Mika, look at me.” _Ican’tIcan’tIcan’t_. “It’s okay.” Gently, he brushed her hair away from her face, and was surprised to find that she wasn’t actually crying. Regardless, he needed to help her calm down before she passed out or something. That was his priority. 

“Just breathe, okay?” Cupping her cheek to try and get her to look at him didn’t work, so he used his voice to guide her instead. “Follow me. Breathe in.” He inhaled, deliberately keeping it slow to try and give her something to match. “And out.” He kept the cycle going, kept her focused on his breaths, and eventually, gradually, her own started to match.

“That’s right.” He moved slowly, making sure she could see what he was doing as he sat on the edge of her bed, hoping she'd let him rub her back. His touch was gentle, soothing, and he felt relieved as she began to respond to it. Her thoughts were slowing down as well, making it easier to pick out what was going on.

“Oh…” He sighed softly. “No. No, we don’t think you’re weak. Of course we don't, how could we? You do so much...” His hand moved to stroking her hair, every movement slow and careful so he wouldn't alarm her. “Yes, I can hear you, but it’s okay. You’re no burden, Mika. You have given us so much, the last thing we feel for you is pity.” 

Pained, he could hear as her mind turned every word he spoke around, making it something he ‘had’ to say. “Stop.” His voice was a little firmer this time, enough to catch her attention and pause the spiral, but he quickly went back to soothing. “No, I’m not angry. Nor am I saying anything I don’t mean. Just because we can see your father for who he is, doesn’t mean we think any less of you. You shouldn’t have to ‘cope’ with him perfectly to be worthy of attention, or friendship, or love.”

He realised she’d started crying, but as much as it hurt to see it, Damien thought it was probably a good thing. People cried to let out sadness and pain, and it could only help Mika to let go of hers a little. He kept stroking her hair, slow and gentle, letting her take all the time she needed. 

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed,” he told her quietly, seeing her turn her face into her pillow. “Our father wasn’t very kind to us, either. We do understand.” 

Mika didn’t move for several seconds, but eventually she turned over to look at him. Even with her hair sticking to her damp cheeks, and eyes rimmed with red, her face was filled with concern. For him. For them. Damien’s heart broke a little at the hand this kind-hearted girl had been dealt. 

“It’s a long story, and we each have our own to tell. Rae- James, had a lot of expectations to live up to. Erik, too, though it was different for him. Sam was the opposite, doing everything except what was expected of him. Matthew cared for his mother, who… I think if she was human, you would say she was depressed?” He seemed uncertain about that, but he had picked up a lot from human television, even though he knew not all of it was accurate. “Father had little time for his softness. I… My mother was just one of his harem.” He looked down at his lap. “I was never supposed to be born. A mistake, he called me.”

Damien felt her take his hand, with a grip so fierce it jerked him out of his thoughts and drew his gaze back to her.

“You are not a mistake.” Her anger on his behalf, just moments after crying over her own situation, was a little startling. “You are wonderful and kind and you always know just what to say. It doesn’t matter if you can read my mind,” she anticipated his objection, “You say what you do because you care so much! It must be so easy to get overwhelmed with everyone’s problems and start ignoring them, but you don’t. You keep trying to make people happy, and it’s wonderful.” He found himself with his arms full of human girl, still trembling from her own distress but trying to soothe his.

In his mind, Damien thanked her grandfather for bringing about the series of events that led them here. Even if she could never be his, Mika was a wonderful person, and he was so pleased to have the chance to know her. Yes, he felt he owed the man a debt, but he would have done anything to help her be happy, regardless. It was a debt he was glad to repay.

He let himself hold her for a while, soaking in the affection and warmth she gave so freely. Eventually though, he released her with a soft smile, tucking her hair back behind her ears so she couldn’t hide behind it. 

“You’re fine,” he assured, responding to her unspoken concern about ‘looking like a mess’. “Though you might want to wash your face. Dried tears are never very comfortable.” 

She laughed, though it was little more than a hiccup of sound, and nodded. “I will. Thank you, Damien.” 

“You’re welcome. Does this happen to you a lot?” He regretted asking when her gaze dropped, but thankfully she didn’t shut down on him.

“Not for a while.” She started to scratch at her arm like it was itchy, but stopped herself as soon as she realised what she was doing. “It’s been… A long day.”

“It’s been a very busy week,” he pointed out gently. “And I know you miss your grandfather.”

“I do. I hadn’t seen him in a while, but...”

“That just makes it worse.” Damien nodded. “I understand.”

Mika groaned, covering her face. “Ugh. Sam must think I’m a complete nutcase.” 

“I don’t think so. I think he’s just worried that you were so upset. He’s in his room, if you want to talk to him.” Whether she was ready was up to her, but Damien wanted her to have the option.

“I probably should.” She didn’t sound like she wanted to, but he could hear her thoughts already turning to giving herself a pep talk.

Damien stood and offered her his hand. “Come on. We’ll stop at the bathroom so you can wash up, and then, if you want, I’ll show you which room is his.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content note I mentioned at the top: Mika has a panic attack. It's written from Damien's point of view, rather than being inside Mika's experience of it, but still. :(


	14. If This Reminds You of Home, You Better Know You’re Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam shows his sweeter side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Hush” by HELLYEAH.
> 
> Sexual activity ahead! I'm posting two chapters at once so you're not left with Mika being teary and emotional. Think of this as an apology? <3

Sam had paced around for a while, trying to burn off the excess energy that wanted to… What? Hit something? Someone. One of the potential targets was himself though, so that probably wouldn’t help him feel better. He wanted to help, but she’d run away from him, so the only thing he could think to do was take all this frustration out on the cause of her problems. And so his thoughts swung around, chasing themselves and making him even more frustrated. 

Getting irritated with his restlessness, James had sent him out into the garden to try some tai chi to calm down. Sam had given that up after five minutes, since apparently now tai chi made him think of her, and why he’d been planning to teach her to use it to defend herself.

Fuck.

Eventually he found himself in his room, out of everyone’s way, but no less twitchy given he was now caged up in one place. He’d go for a run, but the last thing he needed to do was burn _all_ his energy and need to feed. It wouldn’t be fair to take her energy tonight, even if she’d agree, and he got cranky when he was running low.

As though he wasn’t cranky _now_?

Sighing, he hopped up on the window ledge and climbed up to the roof. Maybe looking at the view for a while would help.

It did, a little, but he still twitched when he heard Damien’s voice coming from his room. He wasn’t in the mood for company.

“Sam?”

“I’m up here, Damien. What do you want?”

There was silence for a moment, at least from his point of view, and then Mika’s shocked question carried up to him.

“He’s on the ROOF?”

Without stopping to think, Sam scrambled down and through the window. She’d come to see him? Did that mean she’d forgiven him?

He almost skidded to a stop in front of her, and was relieved to see her smile at his eagerness - even if it was only a small one, and he felt kind of embarrassed about his obvious rush now. Too late to do anything about it, though.

She gave Damien a smile and a nod, and then they were alone. He could tell she was feeling awkward, so he tried to go first.

“Look, I’m sorry-”

“I’m so sorry-”

They spoke at the same time, and Sam felt a knot in his chest release when he saw real humor in her eyes. She covered her mouth, probably so he wouldn’t think she was laughing at him, but whatever. He took the chance to make his apology properly.

“I’m sorry, okay? I was an idiot. I should never have said that about your dad.”

She looked surprised. Apparently, that’s not what she expected him to say. “What? No, it’s okay. You’re… Well, you weren’t exactly wrong.” 

Now he was back to confused. “Then what…?”

“I didn’t…” She took a deep breath, and seemed to be trying to steady herself. “I didn’t realise… That it was so obvious. I thought only you’d noticed, and realising that everyone had…” She blushed and looked down, embarrassed. 

Sam, in a rare moment of wisdom, did not say the first thing that came into his head about it being really fucking obvious, yes. “You… Wanted it to be a secret?”

“No. Yes? Not exactly.” He waited for her to try and sort her words out and explain, because he sure as hell had no idea anymore. “I felt… I don’t want to be this silly girl everyone feels they need to look after. The poor little rich girl, or something, with this big house and everything she wants and she’s still unhappy. I don’t… What?”

Sam was smiling, he couldn’t help it, and even let out a chuckle. The irony was just too much. She was worried a bunch of demon nobles would think she was a ‘poor little rich girl’?

She looked hurt, but he grabbed her hand before she could turn away.

“Come up to the roof with me?” She looked at him like he’d gone mad. “Come on. I won’t let you fall, okay?”

Hesitantly, she nodded, and he beckoned her to follow him over to the window. Wrapping an arm around her waist to be sure he held her securely, he got them both up onto the roof with a minimum of fuss.

Once she’d settled next to him, he heard her gasp. They were looking out towards Chicago, and the sun was setting, illuminating the sky in pink and orange. Yeah, it was really nice, especially at this time of day. 

“I never expected the human world to be so pretty,” he began. “It’s things like this that have made it worth coming here.” He was including the girl beside him in that thought, but it wasn’t the time to get into that conversation.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not like my brothers. I didn’t come here to get away from anything or to fulfil something, whatever they may tell you their reasons were.” He could feel her looking at him with that curiosity she always had, and resisted the urge to flinch from it. “I came because… Well… They’re my brothers. And that’s that. However, I didn’t expect the human world to be so… Yeah. Pretty.” Finally, he met her eyes, and found her smiling in a way he wasn’t quite sure he understood, or deserved.

“Damien said… Well, he told me that you guys didn’t really get along with your dad, either. Is that why they came?”

Sam snorted and tilted his head back to the sky. “That’s one way to put it. We all had our reasons for leaving the Abyssal Plains. James didn’t wanna deal with the pressure he was under, Matthew wanted to live with humans more than demons… I came because I didn’t want to be without my brothers, so I left with them.” 

He closed his eyes, feeling the breeze that swept up over the hill cool the evening around them. Focusing on that helped him get the words out. “Thing is… Our dad was… Well, he was the king, basically.” Sam heard the intake of breath beside him, but couldn’t bring himself to look at her reaction. “Our moms were queens, except for Damien’s, so I guess we were kinda like royalty. None of us enjoyed it. Maybe Erik,” he allowed, lips twitching into an almost-smile. “He liked the parties. Though he had his problems, too. I didn’t think coming here would be better, but…” Sam opened his eyes again, looking out at the view of forests and suburbs, stretching out to the city in the distance. “I think I was wrong.” 

Feeling awkward, he shook his head to rid himself of the memories. “So, we’re a bunch of runaway nobles, I guess.... We’re not about to tell you your life is all peachy just ‘cause you have a big house.”

He felt her begin to shift closer to him, and looked over just as her balance started to tip. “Whoa!” Catching her before she could start to slip, he pulled her into his lap where he was sure she’d be safe. “I gotcha. You okay?”

She was blushing again, and biting her lip in a way that made him want to soothe the sting with his tongue. Before he could decide if she’d let him, she was giving him that smile again. The one he didn’t deserve. 

“You came here because you didn’t want to lose your brothers. That’s really kind of sweet.” 

What?

“I… It doesn’t matter. That’s not what I-”

“I know, it’s not the point you were trying to make. It’s still true.” 

Ugh, now he felt _himself_ blushing. How did she do this to him?

It stopped mattering a moment later, when he felt her hands cup his face, gently tilting it so she could kiss him. It wasn’t one of her sweet, affectionate kisses, either. She kissed him deeply, demanding and passionate and fuck, had she really never kissed anyone before him? Sam felt like his spine was melting. He wasn’t sure where this had come from, but like hell he was turning it down. Did _this_ mean he was forgiven? 

Deciding to worry about that later, he relaxed, very slowly letting his magic build inside her, giving her time to back off before it got too much. She didn’t, though. He could tell it was having an effect when she started moaning into his mouth, delicious little sounds that only made him really, really want to see what other noises she could make. A few moments later he was pocketing that cute little ribbon she wore with her blouse, and working the buttons open down over her chest. Damn, she was beautiful. His lips found a spot on her throat she’d seemed sensitive to the other day, and she shivered hard, hips rocking down against his hard enough that he could hear himself growl. Dimly aware that she might not have intended to do that, Sam let the enthrallment drop, and stopped, resting his forehead against her shoulder. He needed to catch his breath, not just kiss her again. He needed to get himself back under control.

“It’s okay.” Her soft voice in his ear made him shiver and pull her to him even tighter. “It’s okay, Sam. I’m okay.” Gentle hands forced him to look at her, all kiss-swollen lips and long dark hair he’d apparently wrapped around his hand at some point. The sunset behind her could try, but it would never affect him like the sight in front of him now. “Are you okay?” 

She was still speaking, right. 

“I’m fine.” He swallowed hard. “I just didn’t want to…” Fucking hell, why couldn’t he remember how to speak? “I’d enthralled you, and I hadn’t meant to…” To go so far.

How could she smile at him like that after what he’d just done?

“I enjoyed it.” She bit her lip again, blushing, and this time he didn’t have it in him to resist kissing it, soothing the sting away. She whimpered, fucking _whimpered_ , and Sam curled one hand into a fist behind her back, digging his nails into his palm to try and make himself pay attention to something other than how much he wanted her.

Wait, why was she pulling her shirt off? What?

“Could… Could you not enthrall me?” She was almost whispering, embarrassed by the question. He nodded mutely in response, and she started to smile again, getting her confidence back or something. “Good. Then you’ll trust me to tell you if I need to stop?”

Fucking hell, this little human was going to be the death of him.

His reply was his kiss, rough and a little desperate now she was almost half-naked in his lap. It was going to be hard work to rein himself in again, but like hell he was turning her down. The last shreds of coherence in his brain reminded him that their position was a little more precarious than he’d like, especially if she suddenly decided she needed space. That in mind, he turned them, without breaking the kiss, and settled her beside him. Pressing her carefully back against the tiles, he made certain she’d be safe, even if she moved around a little.

“If you need me to move, push me,” he promised. “I’ll move.” Final assurance given, Sam lowered his mouth to her throat, teasing and licking, and enjoying the fuck out of the way she clung to him. She didn’t stop him as he kissed his way along her collarbone, or across her chest, all the way to the edge of her bra. A glance up showed that her eyes were closed. If they hadn’t been, she might have seen the wicked gleam in his eye before he lowered his mouth to her nipple and sucked it through the fabric.

The surprised cry she let out as she arched under him was damn near music, and when he let his teeth graze the tip as he pulled back, he felt her hand grab his hair, trying to keep him where he was. She liked that, then. Grinning, he let her guide him back, more than happy to give her whatever she desired. God, the sounds she was making were amazing. Lifting his hand from her waist, Sam gently cupped her other breast, still teasing the first with his mouth as he traced the top edge of her bra with his thumb. She was whimpering again, and he could feel her starting to squirm under him. He pinched her neglected nipple and she stilled abruptly, her grip on him tightening even more as she panted for breath.

Curious to see how she’d react without fabric in the way, he rolled his eyes up to watch her for any sign she might need him to stop. It didn’t hurt that she was fucking gorgeous like this. Keeping his mouth working over the bra, he pulled the other cup down and brushed his thumb over her bare nipple. Her back arched again delightfully as she tried to chase the sensation, and Sam could feel his patience fraying. As fast as he could think it, he pulled her bra out of the way of his mouth, too, and she let out another cry as his mouth finally found skin.

Sam had to close his eyes against the sight, her responsiveness almost too much to take. She was inexperienced, and he had to go slow. Even if she looked and sounded like she could come just from his mouth on her breast, he had to remember she was new to it all. Even if she touched herself in the privacy of her room - which was a thought he absolutely could _not_ indulge in right now - someone else’s hands were always different. She had no idea how tempting she looked, or how much he wanted to hear her scream his name to the sky. 

He needed to know how far he could go. He _needed_ to.

Finally pulling away from her breast, and trying to ignore that whine of protest, Sam stretched up to kiss her, fierce and hungry. He half expected her to shrink back from his demanding mouth, but she returned it, and more. He heard another moan, and realised it was coming from him. Dropping a hand to rest on her thigh, he wrenched himself out of that kiss with a growl. “This okay?” He illustrated his question by lightly brushing his hand between her legs, feeling the heat of her even through denim. When she nodded vigorously, he moved his hand a little higher, to the button above the zip. “How about this?” He could see her hesitate, and started to pull his hand away, but she caught his wrist.

“Yes.” Any doubts he had that she was sure, or fully aware, were set to rest when she met his eyes with clear, lucid attention. “Yes,” she repeated, before letting his wrist go and using her hand to pull him into another kiss instead.

Groaning in relief, Sam flicked open the button and unfastened her jeans in moments, sliding his hand inside until he could feel her through the thin cotton of her underwear. She felt hot enough to burn him; she wasn’t even enthralled, and his fingers were soaked already. His instincts were screaming at him to take her energy, but he held himself in check, even though it was almost painful. She wasn’t just a meal, goddammit, he could control himself. 

Mika jerked back from the kiss, and he was afraid he’d gone too far. Then he realised she was gasping for breath, and still clinging to him tightly enough that his scalp was starting to hurt. She was overwhelmed then, but not badly. Satisfied that she was alright, he lowered his mouth back to her breast, drawing another moan from her that only got louder when he started rubbing his fingers gently back and forth. The way she was panting she was going to make herself dizzy from that alone, so he thought better of his plan, and returned to her mouth with a slow sliding kiss that tried to get her to calm down a little. She began to respond in kind, and he growled his approval. Slow and easy, that’s it. 

His fingers slipped beneath cotton, tracing circles as slow as his kiss, and he shuddered at the feel of her, slick and wet under his touch. He had to pull his mouth away then, had to, because now _he_ couldn’t breathe. The desperate little whimpers spilling out of her mouth were only making it harder to keep hold of his control, and he found himself biting down on her shoulder. He didn’t expect her to buck under him like that, her voice turning pleading and needy, and he suddenly knew if he didn’t end it now, he was going to break. 

Sam slid a leg over one of hers, to keep her from moving too much and slipping on the tile, and then he stopped teasing. His fingertips began moving in tight, quick little circles, and he sucked a bruise up to the surface of her skin, leaving his mark just above her breast as his name began falling from her lips over and over. _Nearly there, baby. Fuck, so good..._

Suddenly she tensed beneath him, breath caught fast in her throat before coming out in a low, throaty moan that nearly undid his resolve. He could feel her energy crashing over and around him, and a dark part of him whispered that he was wasting a feast.

He was wasting nothing. This was for her, not for him.

He slowed his movements as she calmed down, giving her just a little pressure to push against as she shivered through the aftershocks. When he finally pulled his hand free, there wasn’t anything that could have stopped him tasting her from his fingers. He hadn’t realised she’d opened her eyes though, and her soft whimper surprised him. Sam smirked at her expression and tugged her bra back into place before kissing her, light and gentle.

“Let’s get you inside before you get cold.”


	15. A Fragile Soul Caught in the Hands of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika and Sam make a promise to each other, though time will tell if Mika can keep it. Plus, a certain succubus finally makes her appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Concrete Angel” by Martina McBride.

Mika would never have imagined this: her head spinning with desire as stars began to appear above them in the darkening evening sky. It was magical, like something from a book or a movie. Sam was… She didn’t have words for what Sam was, but he’d made her feel amazing.

As he carefully climbed back in the window, holding her tightly so she wouldn’t fall, Mika began to realise that although her muscles felt shaky, she wasn’t weak from lack of energy. She might be relaxed enough to pass out, but at the same time she felt energised and alive in ways she couldn’t describe.

While Sam set her on her feet and kept his eyes on her to be sure she wouldn’t fall, she watched his expression, trying to figure him out. 

“Sam?”

“Yeah?” He met her eyes immediately, all his focus on her. It made her want to kiss him and start all over again, but she held herself back for the moment.

“You didn’t take my energy, did you?” The question was spoken in quiet curiosity rather than as an accusation, but Sam shook his head quickly, becoming almost defensive.

“No.” She could see his jaw clench a little. Had her question offended him? She wasn’t sure how to read that. “It’s been a long few days, didn’t seem fair.” 

Her heart thudded in his chest. How hard had it been to hold himself back like that? “Sam…” Whatever he saw in her face made him blush and look away, but she reached up and cupped his cheek, guiding him back to her. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah. I did.” His eyes flashed gold, but the way he immediately closed them made her think he hadn’t meant her to see it.

It occurred to her there were other things he hadn’t indulged in, too, and found her gaze reflexively dropping to his groin.

“Hey.” She looked up again with a blush and saw him smirk slightly. “Don’t worry about me, okay? You’ve got enough going on.” 

She frowned and stepped back. “I’m fine. Whatever I have going on, it doesn’t mean I can’t care about you as well.”

Sam hesitated, uncertain, but held his hand out for hers. When she gave it, he tugged her gently back into his arms. “That’s not what I mean. I just… I wanna make things better for you! You shouldn’t have to feel responsible for taking care of me on top of everything else.” 

Part of her rebelled at the idea that he wanted to protect her from anything, but the way he’d phrased it was so close to how she felt about the boys taking care of _her_ , she couldn’t hold on to her annoyance. 

“How often do you… Need energy?” She wasn’t sure how to ask what was really on her mind, whether he’d need to feed on people other than her. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, either.

Sighing, Sam lifted their joined hands and gently kissed the back of hers, very carefully drawing a little of her energy through the touch of his lips. A few seconds later, he stopped, and let their hands drop again. “There, I’m fine. Happy?”

Mika looked down at their hands with a thoughtful expression. “That’s all you need?” 

“To survive, yeah. More is nice, sure.” She looked up to see him smiling at her, something in his eyes forcing her to resist the urge to squirm. “But when I say don’t worry, I mean it.” 

“Do you promise to tell me if something is wrong?” She needed to know he still trusted her to handle what life threw at them. She wouldn’t collapse at the first sign of trouble, and-

“I promise.” He looked at her seriously. “You have to promise too, though. If you’re getting too tired, or you need help with stuff, you need to tell me.” She felt herself flinch from his steady gaze, but his hand just tightened around hers. “You take on a lot.” His voice softened slightly, as though he realised she was getting anxious. “You don’t have to do it all yourself, ya doofus.”

She flushed a little. What he said made a lot of sense, but promising to change how she managed the delicate balance of her life? Sam was asking a lot.

“I’ll… I’ll try.” That was the best she could do, for now, anyway.

“Alright then.” Sam nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Are you hungry? Matthew’s probably done with dinner.” He was changing the subject, but Mika couldn’t bring herself to mind. 

“Sure.” She smiled a little when he didn’t let go of her hand, using it to tug her towards the door. “I’m guessing you’re hungry, then?”

His stomach grumbled loudly, making her laugh. Called it.

***

Tearing herself away from Sam’s side after… Well, after what happened earlier… It was hard, but necessary. She still had studying to squeeze in before she could sleep, and she’d already lost so much time this week. This weekend was going to have to be catch-up time, which was really annoying, but hopefully she could still make some time and go out with Suzu and Naomi for a bit on Saturday. She could use a bit of low-stress fun time, with no confusing feelings or overwhelming emotions to work out. Just some coffee at the Pink Lady Cafe, and maybe shooting some stuff at the arcade. Yeah, that sounded good.

Determined to give herself as much time as possible at the weekend, she pushed herself to study as late as she could. She knew she should sleep, but just five more minutes with this textbook and she’d be… She’d be…

Mika fell asleep on her biology homework.

It barely felt like she’d slept at all when a low, throaty laugh rang through her dream. Was it her dream? Maybe she was awake?

“You are an interesting creature…”

Groaning, Mika turned over onto her back and opened her eyes, expecting… She didn’t know what she was expecting, but when she saw a woman looking down at her with a smirk, she sucked in a breath to scream.

Too quickly, a hand covered her mouth. “Ah ah ah! No screaming, now. Too early, silly girl.” Why couldn’t she move or struggle? God _dammit_ , she wanted this woman off her. “Hmm… Why do the boys like you? You’re unique, yes, but that can’t be all you have going for you…”

Staring up at the woman with rage, Mika tried to force her limbs to move. She would _not_ be this woman’s victim.

“Ooh - you’re feisty. That could be why…”

She didn’t care what this woman thought of her, good or bad, Mika just wanted her _gone_. Especially if she was after the boys for some reason. She opened her mouth to bite the hand silencing her, but was too late, as the woman removed it before her teeth could make contact. 

Sitting up quickly, determined not to be pinned down again, Mika glared daggers at the intruder. The woman was beautiful, sure, dressed up in something that look like it only stayed in place through the power of positive thinking, but Mika was used to not being the prettiest girl in the room. She didn’t care.

“Who the hell are you and why are you in my room?” The laugh she received really wasn’t helping Mika not itch to introduce taekwondo to the equation, but she wanted answers more than anything else right now.

“How silly of me. I forgot that we demons are not well known of in your world.” She was a demon? Mika felt herself shiver. “You can call me Diana, little human.”

Mika didn’t feel the need to introduce herself to the woman intruding in her bedroom. “You’re a demon?” 

“I am, but I’m much more than just an average demon.” Mika raised her eyebrows, waiting expectantly. Someone with this much ego was bound to explain herself. “Silly girl, I’m a succubus.” 

And there it was. Mika tried really hard not to look impressed as ‘Diana’ folded her arms under her breasts, lifting them slightly in a way that suggested she was used to making the most of… Well, of everything. 

“Well, you are pretty…” Mika had not expected that. A succubus thought she was pretty? What on earth? “But you seem very reckless… Too reckless…”

She remembered Sam’s brothers calling him reckless the first night she met them, and couldn’t help but smile for a moment. Hey, a little recklessness hadn’t hurt in her dealings with demons so far.

Getting off the bed, Mika returned to glaring and folded her arms in a mirror of Diana’s. “Why are you here?”

“Oh, I just wanted to see who my competition was.”

“Competition?” What in the hell was she talking about?

“For the boys, of course. They don’t belong here, and yet here they remain. I want to know why and remedy this little issue.”

Oh. Oh, _hell_ no. “Issue?! What issue?! They want to stay here, so they can.”

“Silly uneducated human.” Ugh, that tone was really starting to piss Mika off. “You don’t understand the important roles these boys play in the Abyssal Plains. You keeping them here is practically imprisonment.”

Keeping them here? They were here because they wanted to be!

Her mind flashed to her thoughts earlier in the day. Did they think she was fragile? Did they stay out of obligation?

No. No! Sam had… He wouldn’t have done that and not fed from her if he didn’t care, she was certain. Ruthlessly pushing away the creeping, oily doubt that always came with her father’s voice, Mika clenched her fists. 

“You have about ten seconds to leave.”

“Is that a threat?” Diana laughed again in a way that skittered up her spine unpleasantly. “How cute. What are you going to do? Kill me?”

“And if I do?” Stupid, Mika, you couldn’t take her in a fight. She’s a demon, for God’s sake!

“You barely have the strength to stand, little human. I can rip the rest of your energy out and knock you into a coma.” The rest? Was Diana why she felt so weak? “You’ll never be able to wake up again.”

Mika ground her teeth in fury. “Touch me and I’ll-”

“Enjoy every minute of it.” Proving her point, Mika’s body immediately flooded with a heat that was almost painful. She felt fuzzy, immobile, and somewhere behind the haze of desire her fury built even higher.

Diana was talking to her, and of course she was listening, she couldn’t do much else, but she _could_ not care. She set her mind to aggressively not giving a _shit_ that she was held in place, forced to nod, unable to speak. She especially would not care about a word that was said to her. Who gave a damn if this succubus wanted to be Queen? The boys weren’t hers for the taking, no matter what the reason. Mika had no idea if any of it showed in her eyes, she liked to think it did, but Diana continued to be as egotistical and condescending as ever.

Forced to nod again, Mika still managed to growl through the enthrallment, words beginning to come to her again. “You… Evil… Bitch…”

Diana didn’t seem at all moved. “Call me evil all you want, deary. I’m not evil; you’re just in my way.” Instructions came next, forcing Mika to get into bed against her will. Rather than focusing on her vulnerability, she kept glaring at Diana, wearing her rage like a badge of pride.

“I’ll… Get… You…” 

Finally, that seemed to get under Diana’s skin, but not in a way that made Mika feel any better.

The succubus glowed purple, her voice deepening and echoing in a way that terrified something deep in the back of Mika’s mind. Like a warning left by evolution, something that stopped cavemen from straying too far from the fire at night. “Oh, please do. Give me a reason to make your life a living hell.”

Mika gritted her teeth, trying to fight back against the fear and the hold on her. Diana must need energy to survive, she couldn’t keep doing this forever.

Suddenly, everything, including Diana, returned to normal. “Oh, and make sure you don’t tell the boys I was here. I want my visit to be a surprise.”

Finally free to move and speak again, Mika sat upright, fists clenched at her side. “What’s stopping me?!”

The threat against family that followed was enough to make her pause, and Diana pushed the advantage. She could rip away everyone who cared for Mika, ensure she was alone for the rest of her life. The thought left an aching hollow in her heart. Surely not? Surely this ‘Diana’ wasn’t that powerful?

“Have a good night.” Smug and self-satisfied, Diana disappeared through the… Floor?

Mika couldn’t deny the move was effective. A lovely dramatic exit to underscore the fear she’d tried to instill. 

No. No, Diana wouldn’t win. Mika wouldn’t let her. She couldn’t be all powerful, that wasn’t possible. 

Lying down, she confirmed it to herself over and over as she let herself go back to sleep. No matter what Diana had planned, she wouldn’t win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Diana's entry scene out almost in full because of what's going on in Mika's head, so I'm sorry there's not a great deal of original content in this one. I'm also going to be slowing down to posting every other day, I think, because I'm catching up to what I've actually got written faster than I'd like.


	16. Those Storm Clouds Gather in Her Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika gets Very Territorial with Diana, and Sam begins to realize just how much of a necessity reading is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood.

Mika practically skipped down the stairs the next morning, remarkably full of energy for it being so early. The boys all heard her coming, and Sam’s wasn’t the only gaze on the door when she appeared. Her eyes lit up when she saw the breakfast spread, and James couldn’t help but smile at her appreciation.

“Good morning, miss. Did you sleep well?”

He hadn’t expected her to hesitate to reply, and when Damien spoke up a moment later, James had a bad feeling that he wasn’t going to like her answer.

“She’s here.”

“Um… Damien, what’s up with you? Of course she’s here. She kinda owns the house.” Matthew had rather missed the point, James thought. There was something going on they didn’t know about yet, and even Sam seemed to understand that, or he’d likely have jumped down Damien’s throat by now for taking that disgusted tone with her. 

A look passed between Mika and Damien, but then her eyes found Sam’s and looked… Apologetic? For what?

“A girl named Diana came by last night…”

“Diana?” Erik seemed no less confused with that piece of information. “Is she important?”

“Did she try to hurt you?” Of course Sam assumed the worst, but the way Mika dropped her gaze James wondered if maybe he wasn’t actually overreacting this time.

“She’s a… Succubus.”

Oh. Oh, _damn_. He’d hoped this wouldn’t happen. But, it seemed it had, and now they had to deal with it. James took a deep breath and looked around at his brothers. “So… She’s come to try and bring us back.”

“She must really be desperate.” Matthew hadn’t known just how close her kingdom had come to being the next to fall to their father. James couldn’t blame her for being desperate, no one had yet stood against the Demon Lord and prevailed.

“Well, what should we do now?” Erik, on the other hand, had a better sense of the situation. He knew that the succubus had a lot to lose.

“Nothing. She’ll give up eventually.” 

“Will she?” James fought the urge to sigh. Sam was trying to be reassuring for the human’s sake, but expecting ‘Diana’ to just give up was a rather optimistic.

Mika was quiet for a moment, then seemed to decide she needed to explain further. “She said that if I told you, she’d make my life a living hell… She can’t possibly do that, right? She’s not a devil.”

“No, she isn’t…” He hated not being able to give her better news, but James knew he had to be honest. “However, she is a very powerful demon.”

Erik and Damien seemed to take the opening to really drive home what they were dealing with, and James couldn’t help feeling guilty as fear started to creep into Mika’s expression. She shouldn’t have to deal with this.

As Matthew explained the marriage contract, though, she became distracted, and her eyes darted to Sam. James smiled ruefully. Sam was probably fourth on the list of candidates, behind even Matthew, but pointing that out wouldn’t help any of them now.

“She’s just some whacked up hussy who doesn’t know how to close her legs. She’s not a real threat.” At least Sam’s irreverence was chasing the fear from Mika’s eyes. God knows, she didn’t deserve them bringing more danger to her life.

“Oh, really? I feel insulted.” Dammit, of course _she_ was listening. James should have expected that. As the others looked around the room to find the source of the voice, he couldn’t help notice that Mika looked scared again… No, she looked terrified. What had Diana done last night?

Finally, they all saw her, almost at the same moment. The succubus stood in the kitchen doorway, tossing an apple into the air as though she’d made herself completely at home. She was also far closer to Mika than any of them would like. As if they’d planned it, all five rose to their feet to surround their human friend.

Even on the defensive, James supposed they might as well start somewhat politely, at least until they could see how she planned to behave. “So, you took up a human name as well.” 

“Beautiful name, isn’t it? Well, for a human name, anyway.” Her condescension to the world they were in set his teeth on edge.

“What the hell do you want?” Apparently James wasn’t the only one irritated already, and he was fairly sure he didn’t imagine it when Sam shifted very slightly closer to the girl they were protecting.

“To bring you back, of course!” Oh, of course. She didn’t deny she’d threatened Mika into keeping it a secret, either. She’d probably not considered Damien simply because no one back home ever did. Not for the first time, James was thankful for his brother’s ability, though he always felt selfish for it. Mind-reading wasn’t an easy burden to bear.

As Diana stepped closer, the brothers tightened their circle around Mika, making the succubus laugh. “My, my, my. What have the worlds come to? A group of demons protecting a human girl? I’ll tell you right now, she’s not _that_ pretty, and, from what I can tell, she’s still a virgin.”

Given the glow around Mika when she’d come down to dinner the night before, all the brothers except Sam were surprised. But, it really wasn’t any of their business, and Diana was crossing a line with her comments regardless of the truth. James could already see Sam gearing up for a fight.

He hadn’t expected Mika to push forward and face Diana down herself. 

“You are in MY house! You are an _intruder_.” She seemed to be actually shaking with anger. “You have NO power here!” 

“Oh really? Do I have to remind you of the power I have, dear?” Remind? So, Diana _had_ been doing something to this girl while they slept. James felt his stomach sink and twist. They hadn’t protected her.

Mika froze in place, clearly under the hold of magic, and James strode forward to grab Diana’s wrist before anyone else - like Sam - could escalate the problem. “You will leave this instant.” 

“Or what? You’ll kill me? I completely _dare_ you to.”

“Let me do it. I could use the work out.” Sam’s voice was surprisingly calm, but James knew him well enough to recognise that undertone. If James couldn’t end this now, blood was going to be spilled.

“Don’t.” As one, the brothers turned towards Damien, and Matthew demanded to know why they shouldn’t kill her, though he was usually the first to search for non-lethal means to solve a problem. Usually. “She wants us to kill her,” Damien explained. “If she dies, then civil war starts in the demon world.” 

Erik tried to point out that it didn’t concern them anymore, but Damien went on to explain that demons would come to the human world, and hunt them down as the first order of business. 

“You sneaky bit-” Sam never finished his insult. 

While they had been distracted, Mika had been fighting the hold over her, and suddenly broke through Diana’s magic with a shout. ...In Latin? “S-Spiritus tenebrarum periculum prohibere!” A magical shield of demon magic burst into life around her, and Mika was glaring at Diana in a way that unnerved even James. “I told you, this is _my_ house.” As she spoke, the circle expanded to include the boys, and James instinctively released Diana’s arm. “Get out.” 

The succubus was looking at the human girl like she’d finally done something truly interesting. “Magic? I’m starting to see the appeal.”

Mika apparently took that as a refusal. “Spiritus lumine, da fortitudinem tuam discedo!” A wave of light burst out from her body, knocking back everything around her, and slamming Diana into the wall hard enough to crack the plasterwork. James had raised his hands instinctively, before realizing that the light only affected things outside her shield. She must have been planning this even as she expanded the circle around them. “I said, GET OUT!”

Diana regained her feet slowly, trying to hide how unsteady she was after that impact, and glared at the girl. “You think you can intimidate _me_ , little human?” Mika merely held her gaze, refusing to back down. So, Diana tried appealing to the incubi. “Well, will you all change your minds? I assure you, it’s for the greater good.”

She got no response, out loud at least, but seemed to understand what the silent glares meant. 

“No? Well… I see…” She pressed a finger to her temple, rubbing it in slow circles. “Either all of you are playing a very convincing hard-to-get game… Or you all must be out of your minds.”

Diana’s gaze locked with Mika’s again, and James prepared himself to intervene. Unexpectedly, she broke off the staring contest and smiled around at the boys. “Very well. I guess I’ll take my leave now.”

Sure enough, after a bow designed to flaunt her assets to their best advantage, Diana sank out of sight.

The shield around them abruptly collapsed, and Mika would have hit her knees if Sam hadn’t caught her. “Whoa! You’re okay... I gotcha.” 

She gave him a shaky smile, and it went some way to reassuring all of them. “I’m okay, I’m just not used to that. I didn’t realize it would be so tiring.” Turning her head to look around at all of them, she caught sight of the table, which had skidded across the floor and into the wall. Along with the food.

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry! I ruined breakfast.” The change from powerful witch to the sweet, apologetic girl they were more familiar with, was instantaneous. “I only meant for that to be directed forward, but I’ve never tried it before and-”

“It’s okay.” Sam caught her face and turned her attention back to him. He was gazing at her with awe, and James had to admit to himself, he felt similarly. He’d known Mika carried a lot of energy with her, but this? “It’s okay,” Sam repeated. “You… Holy shit. Where did you even learn that?!”

“My grandfather.” Her confession was almost too quiet to hear. “Yesterday, in the study.”

“His spirit transferred his knowledge to her.” Damien’s explanation was even quieter than usual. He hadn’t seen this coming either, apparently.

“Can spirits do that?” Matthew didn’t seem to know what to make of it all.

James nodded to him, thoughtful as he tried to remember what he’d learned about spirits. “Yes, in rare circumstances.” 

“I need to help you clear this up before Suzu and Naomi get here!” Sam was trying to get Mika to stay sitting down for a minute, but she wasn’t having any of it. “No, I can’t just…”

“I’ll take care of it,” Sam promised. “Are you sure you’re okay to go today?” 

She did look tired, but James wasn’t the only one who recognised the stubborn set of her jaw. 

“Here, princess.” Erik appeared beside her, having rescued some pancakes and bacon while the rest of them were staring at Mika. “You used a lot of energy, but some breakfast should help.”

She started looking around guiltily, and James thought she might be reluctant to take whatever food was left. “I can make some more for the rest of us when you’ve gone,” he assured her gently. “Erik’s right, you should eat something.”

Reluctantly, Mika picked up some bacon and started eating. Relieved, James sent Matthew and Damien to the kitchen to get some things to clean up with, while he and Erik moved the table back into place. 

Sam sat with her while she ate, rolling his eyes when she tried to feed him a piece of bacon, but eventually accepting it to make her smile. It had been a long time since James had seen his brother like this, especially with anyone outside the family. Few outside Sam’s brothers, or his mother, ever saw this gentler side to him. For the first time, James began to really believe that Sam would find the human world worth staying in for its own sake, and not just because he was tied to his brothers.

***

After she’d gone, despite his argument that she should stay home and rest, Sam took over the clean up. After that, it was only minutes before the dining room was as perfect as ever. They’d need to replace some broken plates and cups, but that wasn’t such a big deal.

“I had no idea she could do that.” Matthew was staring at the empty dining table, looking lost in the memory of what Mika had proven capable of. Sam realized that Erik and Matthew had no idea what had been happening. Damien probably knew - and a glance in the youngest’s direction received a nod in response - but the other two had been entirely in the dark until this morning.

Thankfully, James stepped up to explain to them who her grandfather had been, and the events of the previous evening. Minus her… Freak out? Getting upset, whatever. She wouldn’t want them to know about that.

“Panic attack.” 

The quiet voice by his shoulder made Sam jump, and he looked over at Damien with a frown. “Do I need to put a bell on you?”

He just got a quick smile in response, but Damien quickly returned to his serious expression. “I asked James to help me find some information last night. The computer in the study,” he must mean the laptop, “It can take voice instructions, and read things out to me. From the internet.” He looked embarrassed, as he always did when the subject of his reading came up. It occurred to Sam he should probably start trying to learn more than a few words too, but that wasn’t the point right now.

“What’s a panic attack?” It sounded deeply unpleasant. Sam didn’t like the thought of Mika getting attacked by anything.

“It’s something the human mind does, sometimes. When a person’s been under a lot of stress, or some kind of trauma, their mind gets used to constantly expecting danger. When that happens, it can only take a small thing to trigger the ‘fight-or-flight’ response.” Damien sounded like he was reciting from memory, but Sam thought he understood the phrase. When there is danger, you run or you fight. Sam had almost always defaulted to fighting, but if there was nothing there _to_ fight, he became frustrated. It was more stressful than actually throwing punches and getting it out of his system.

“Yes.” Right, Damien could see what he was thinking. “Her mind ended up… Attacking itself, I suppose.” His brother’s almost grief-stricken expression made Sam’s heart ache. What had he seen in her mind? “A lot of it was too fast to follow,” Damien explained softly. Even if it hadn’t been, Damien wasn’t in the habit of spilling people’s most private thoughts to others. “But… She considers this a weakness. Proof that she can’t…”

His brother seemed to be struggling to find the right words, but Sam was pretty sure he got it. Predictably, it pissed him off. “That she can’t be the superhuman _he_ expects?”

Damien sighed, but didn’t dispute it. “Something like that. But I think she’s come to expect just as much from herself as her father does.” 

“Yeah.” Sam’s mind went back to her hesitation in promising to ask for help. “I think you’re right. Dammit!” Frustrated, he pushed a hand through his hair. “How can I help her? Can we get her brain to stop being so jumpy, or whatever?”

The silence he received in reply wasn’t encouraging, and Sam frowned at the floor, not wanting to see the expression on Damien’s face. Was she stuck with this now?

“No. There are things she can do, but we can’t do them for her. We can only give her support.” 

Ugh, he’d been afraid of something like that. “Okay, so where do we start?”

“I don’t know. Maybe James can help us figure it out?” 

It took that suggestion for Sam to realize that he _would_ need help from James or Erik. He couldn’t just help her himself, because to find out anything, to be able to look into this himself, he’d need to be able to read. Suddenly, he understood why Damien was so insistent on learning. To do anything in this world by yourself, you had to be able to read. God _dammit_.


	17. Let Your Tears Touch the Ground, Lay All Your Shattered Pieces Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James, Sam and Damien try to figure out how to help Mika, but get distracted when she reappears unexpectedly and demands the whole story about Diana. Sam acknowledges to himself just how deep his feelings for Mika run, and slides into self-doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Broken Girl” by Matthew West.

Wary of sharing Mika’s problems with everyone, Sam enlisted Damien in figuring out how to get together with James without raising questions from the others. However, in a stroke of luck, an answer presented itself without them having to do a thing. Erik and Matthew decided to go out shopping to replace the broken crockery, wanting to get it done before it became a more urgent need. There were six people in one house, after all. 

Matthew had tried to invite the others to join them, but Erik had argued that they probably shouldn’t leave the house completely empty with Diana around. What he meant was, he wanted to get a surprise for Mika that would also be a surprise for Sam. Knowing that, Damien would have let the the two go without complaint anyway, even if the rest of them hadn’t had their own project to work on. All in all, it worked out rather well.

Without the risk of Matthew or Erik walking in on them, Sam seemed to relax a bit. Still, he was impatient as hell to get going. Once he’d all but dragged poor James to the computer, he almost immediately started getting frustrated at not being able to read anything James found, and Damien found himself repeatedly trying to calm his hot-headed brother down. 

“There’s a lot of information, Sam,” he admonished gently. “Give him a chance to look through it.” 

“How is there this much though? Shouldn’t it all just be in one place?!”

“The internet doesn’t seem to work like that.” James’s reply was even and mild, but Damien could tell he was frustrated equally by the overabundance of information, and Sam’s impatience. “We just have to work through it all, and find the relevant parts.”

Damien rested his hand on Sam’s shoulder, hoping to ground him a little. “I don’t think this is a problem that can be solved quickly. It may be a while before she’s feeling better, even if we found everything we needed today.”

“All the more reason to get started as soon as possible!” Sam shoved a hand through his already messy hair, and Damien sighed. He had to work out how to get Sam to slow down. His brother was understandably concerned for her, which was then compounded by his feelings, and Sam just didn’t seem to know how to contain it all. 

“Perhaps you could-” Damien broke off his suggestion that Sam go for a run, suddenly distracted by another mind in the house. One that shouldn’t be back for hours. “She’s home.” Confused, he started for the stairs without waiting for the other two, though he wasn’t surprised that they followed right behind him.

When he reached her room, Damien didn’t wait to knock. She shouldn’t be here at all. How had she got to her room without him hearing her? Was he imagining things?

Apparently not. There she was, sitting on her bed, looking just as bewildered as he was.

“Miss, what are you doing here?” The anxiety in James’s voice spoke for all three of them.

“Diana sent her back here,” Damien replied when she looked to him for help, and he felt his own temper rising at what he saw in her mind. “She invaded her school, and sent all the students back home.”

“What is that bitch up to? Seriously! Diana’s playing around for no reason.” Sam crossed the room to Mika’s side, and she seemed to breathe a little easier when he took her hand. “You okay?”

“What the hell is going on?!” She seemed to surprise even herself with that outburst, and hesitated before continuing. “Why is she here? Why does she want to bring you all back? What…?” Stopping herself before she could reel off anymore questions, Mika looked up at Sam, hoping he’d be willing to explain if anyone was.

“Miss, we-” James immediately became the focus of her attention, and Damien sensed his regret that he’d said anything at all.

“Don’t ‘miss’ me! I need to know what’s going on. I won’t be left in the dark about this, I want to know what I’m facing.” It was a fair request, and Damien could hear Sam’s decision even before he waved Damien closer. 

“Damien. Do the thing.”

“The thing? What thing?” Mika was looking between them, and James was already wincing before he began speaking, preparing himself to face her anger again.

“I’m not sure we should-”

Despite James anticipating her continued insistence, it was actually Sam who demand the truth for her. “Why not? She deserves to know everything. Especially if Diana is targeting her.”

James pursed his lips, but relented and nodded his reluctant agreement. “You’re right. I guess we have no choice.”

With agreement between his brothers, Damien climbed onto the bed and knelt in front of her, trying to smile reassuringly. “We’re going to show you everything. You have to trust me, okay? The minute you stop trusting me, the vision will stop.”

“Vision?” She glanced to Sam, who nodded and gave her a little half-smile.

“You want to know, right? Trust him.” 

That was all she needed. She returned Sam’s smile before refocusing on Damien, giving him her full attention, and her consent.

As he began, he could hear her curiosity much louder in her mind than any anxiety, and it made him smile. Always so curious, and about all of them, not just Sam. Each of them were valued in her mind, and he hoped nothing he was about to show her would change that.

As the vision played out he watched her immediate fear of the Demon Lord, of just his _voice_ , and Damien couldn’t deny her instincts were good. She was in no danger here, and he hated to see her scared, but in person their father could make even the strongest demon tremble. Mika seemed to understand that, and even so, he could see her listening to every word, peeking out from behind her pillar to see who was speaking. He couldn’t help but think she’d have made a formidable demon, if fate hadn’t seen her born human.

She seemed intrigued by the young Raestrao, and when the first image dispersed, Damien decided to begin the next with him to help her follow what was happening. She watched the young brothers corner and attack the eldest in play, and he could tell when she realised who she was looking at. Their demonic appearance didn’t seem to faze her in the least, and she began laughing at their antics, taking joy in the memory Damien was sharing. It was a pity then, that the Demon Lord had to come into the room, spoiling the fun. Seeing his younger self shrink behind Sam was a little embarrassing, but he could still remember how his father made him feel, and the punishments he’d received simply for existing. Despite being only slightly less hated than him, Sam had stood firm in front of Damien, shielding him from their father. He was suddenly struck by a memory of Mika standing between them and Diana that morning. Both of them were too noble for their own good, and he was reminded again of the good match they made. 

Perhaps it was time Damien learned to step out from behind others.

That was another matter though, and once she had the basic information, he changed the vision again to show her their decision to come to the human world. It meant showing her Sam’s initial reluctance, and he worried that she might be offended. Instead, he heard her ‘tsk’ under her breath, and roll her eyes at Sam’s assertion that humans were no better than devil-spawn. He wasn’t sure what to make if it, honestly, but he had a feeling Sam was in for an interesting conversation after this.

In the end though, it had been Sam who talked James into it, feeling very strongly about his big brother turning into a reflection of their father. That seemed to settle her, a little, but Damien hadn’t expected her thoughts to turn to jealousy as the brothers of his memory planned their escape. She thought she was trapped? She didn’t have to be… But perhaps she didn’t realise that yet.

Mika indicated that she’d seen enough though, so Damien gently brought her out of the vision and back to the real world. It took her a few moments to get her bearings, but then she was looking around at them, trying to adjust to her fresh perspective. 

“So, you now know exactly who we are…” James was the first to speak, the most uncomfortable with her scrutiny. Damien could tell he didn’t know what to expect from her, but was relieved she didn’t look angry.

“Diana is the girl you were arranged to marry?” James flinched like she’d made an accusation, rather than simply asked to confirm Diana’s identity.

Sam seemed to notice. “Not anymore. Once we left, the arrangement was broken. With no sons to marry off, our dad couldn’t go through with the marriage deal.” He seemed determined to defend his brother’s freedom, and Mika gave him a small smile, recognising that protectiveness for what it was.

“She’s trying to save her kingdom from being attacked,” James replied quietly, sounding as guilty as they all knew he felt.

Damien wouldn’t let him keep torturing himself. “That’s not true. She wants to rule our kingdom. Having one of us will give her the right to our kingdom as much as we’d have right over hers.”

“That manipulative…” When Mika trailed off, the three brothers looked towards her. Seeing her head drop to her hands, Sam quickly sat down beside her, and pulled her into his arms as she tried to keep talking. “W-what…?”

Damien immediately realised the problem, and felt sick with anxiety. He’d tried to only take as much energy as connecting to her mind required, but he’d screwed up. “I took too much! I’m so sorry!”

“Rest now.” James settled a reassuring hand on Damien’s shoulder, even as he tried to soothe Mika with his voice. “There’s no need to do anything more today.”

Sam helped her lie down, smoothing his hand over her hair to try and make her feel better, even though she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

Guiltily, Damien crept out of the room to leave them alone. James followed though, unwilling to let his brother punish himself for a small mistake.

“It wasn’t small! I took enough for her to-”

“I know. In case you’ve forgotten, so did I, only a few days ago. In fact, you’re the last one to contribute to her passing out, so you’ve done rather better than the rest of us.” Giving his brother a gentle smile, James steered him towards the stairs. “Why don’t you come and help me prepare some lunch? She’s bound to be hungry when she wakes up.”

Damien gave in to his brother’s reassurance, for now, because he was right. She would be hungry later, and he could make up for taking too much energy by helping her replenish it. “Alright. Can we make her favorite?”

Chuckling softly, James nodded. “Well, you’d know what that is better than any of us...”

***

He hadn’t wanted to leave her alone while she slept. Diana wasn’t respecting any boundaries right now, and had already shown up in Mika’s room once. Sam wasn’t leaving her unprotected and vulnerable again, not while Queen Bitch was around. 

Sitting by her bedside gave him a lot of time to think, though. Was this the third or fourth time they’d taken so much energy she passed out? How about Malix, and now Diana? How many times had her life been in danger? He’d been pretty sure their dad had given up on them, but if Diana could chase them down after all this time, who else would follow? She’d have been better off if they’d never come.

But then again, when looked at her, sleeping and peaceful under his watch, he felt his heart clench at the thought of leaving. Her own father had abandoned her here to manage this house alone. How would she have coped with the party? With the dinner? Sure, she had her friends, but they couldn’t help her with everything. He knew she’d never let them, anyway. Would she have ever found her grandfather’s secrets without him catching her father snooping, or would Dickbag Dad have taken that from her, too?

She wouldn’t have had the extra pressure of her _life_ being in danger though. Her family and friends threatened… Dammit. Did them being here hurt her more than help her? He didn’t know, and it killed him.

Eventually, she woke up, pulling him from his mire of doubt with a soft, sleepy groan. Sam tried to wake himself up from the near-trance his thoughts had put him in, and found her looking at him with a smile that made him blush.

“Oh, you’re awake…” He broke off with a yawn, surprising himself. Had he actually fallen asleep after all? “How do you feel?”

“Eh.” She shrugged, and didn’t look concerned. She shouldn’t just be feeling ‘eh’, though! 

Sam frowned down at the blanket, trying to find a way to apologise to her for this happening yet again. “I’m such an idiot. If I were stronger, you wouldn’t be like this…” 

Of course, she wouldn’t let him take responsibility. “Sam, it’s not your fault-” 

“No. It’s my fault. It’s _our_ fault. Look at you: you’re in bed, again, after us using our powers, _again_ , and you’re a target, _again_ , because of us. We never should have come…” He couldn’t even look at her.

Which meant she surprised him when her finger touched his lips, stopping him from saying any of the other things he was thinking.

“Sam… It’s okay. I wanted to help you out. I offered to let you all stay. Nothing is your fault.” Her finger moved from his lips so she could cup his cheek. She was always so gentle with him. Far more than he deserved.

Defeated, he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. How could he walk away? She was offering him so much - more than he’d ever thought he’d get, even in the short time since he’d met her. 

Even if she was full of questions. “So, you really were all princes, huh?” 

He tried not to sound irritated, because he wasn’t. At least, not with her. “Only James had that ‘honor’. I was the third son of the Demon Lord. My brothers and I lived together in the castle as nobility, but since James was the oldest, he became royalty, and heir to the throne.” Sam huffed and shifted slightly in his chair, but not enough to pull away from her touch. “The whole situation became one gigantic boring mess, okay? So we all grouped together and left to come here. Once that happened, we surely lost the chance to ever get forgiveness.” Not that he cared what his asshole of a father thought, he really didn’t, but it made Diana being here especially weird.

“What was it like while you were there?” He wished she wouldn’t ask, honestly, but he wasn’t about to refuse her. He owed her answers to any question she had.

“Like I said: one gigantic boring mess. Erik, Matthew, and I were there as replacements in case James fucked up.” He tried not to notice the way her expression changed. He didn’t want pity, or sympathy, or whatever. “Since Erik was before me, and since my dad was a dickbag, I wasn’t ever likely to get the throne, so I just spent my days lazing about and not giving two shits about anything. Not even my mom could control me.” He’d occasionally felt guilty about what he put her through, but not enough to stop.

“Your mom?” Mika’s tone was still soft, careful, and her fingers slid up to comb through his hair. He had to admit, it felt nice, especially while he was sifting through these memories.

“Yeah. She’s not like my asshole of a dad. She was actually caring and kind.” Mika sometimes reminded him of his mom in that way, though his mom had been almost apologetic about it, and, well... “But she was a pushover.” Something Mika definitely wasn’t. He found himself laughing a little at the thought. No, she was no pushover. 

Lost in nostalgia, and the less awful memories, he continued. “Mom always thought I could be more than I was, but my dad definitely made sure I knew my place. In response, I became the rebel son,” he admitted, aware that he was a living stereotype, even in the demon world. “Hanging out with common demons and such, just to piss my dad off. I swear, I’m surprised he didn’t kill me out of shame.”

He’d forgotten, for a moment, who he was talking to.

“That’s horrible!” She looked ready to defend him from the Demon Lord himself, and Sam was taken aback for a moment. Of course, that would sound bad to a human. It was pretty bad to demons, but… Whatever. He reached up to ruffle her hair, hoping they could be casual about this. He didn’t really want to examine his father’s assholery.

“Don’t even worry about it. You need rest. You don’t need to know about the demon world.”

“But I want to know more about you.” Of course she did. Was this girl never satisfied? How could she find _him_ so interesting?

He lowered his hand, smoothing her hair back down until he reached her cheek. He didn’t think she was even aware she’d turned into his touch, and he heard himself sigh. Whatever she wanted, she’d get from him. It was too late to pretend otherwise.

He took his dog tags from around his neck, and looped the chain around hers.

“I’m warning you: my past is boring.”


	18. I Don’t Have to Pretend, She Doesn’t Expect It from Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam shares a little of himself. Diana tries to win him over (we know how well that goes).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Good Enough” by Sarah McLachlan.
> 
> This is another chapter with a lot taken from the game, but there are a few changes and a lot more thoughts and feelings behind the words. We're almost done with canon content now!

Sam wrapped his fingers loosely around the tags, and focused. A green mist seemed to spread outwards from his hand, creeping along the chain and winding up around her head. It didn’t feel cold or damp, as she’d anticipated; rather, it was warm, almost comforting. It felt safe.

Green light filled her vision for a moment, and when it faded, she was back in the Great Hall of their castle. Unlike the vision Damien had given her, Mika quickly realised she wasn’t free to move around. She could turn her head, but that was all. Well, it was all she needed, she supposed.

A weird, screechy shout startled her, and when she looked for the source she saw Sam running into the hall… With a basket of bread? Wow, he sounded pissed at whatever was following him.

The sudden appearance of a boulder made her blink, but she felt a smile tug at the corner of her mouth when it covered the door without destroying anything. Nicely done! The frustrated shouts of whatever ‘creepo’ was were muffled by the rock, enough that it no longer felt like they were scraping over her eardrums, which was a nice bonus.

Given time to focus on Sam, she tried to figure out why he’d taken the bread in the first place. Why would he need to? He started muttering, cursing to himself about a parent - his father, she assumed - and she wondered if the Demon Lord had forbidden his sons food, for some reason? Or just Sam… Wait, was he starving Damien?

Her questions were answered when another demon appeared out of hiding. The large black wings were impressive, but what she noticed most was that he was wearing clothes. It hadn’t really occurred to her until that moment, but aside from the Demon Lord’s regal overcoat thing, everyone else had been… 

Mika flicked her gaze up towards the ceiling, trying to avoid all the temptation and curiosity she suddenly had about Sam’s demon form. And Sam in general. 

In her peripheral vision, she could see the basket being tossed to the new demon, and mention of a brother. Lowering her head - just enough so she could see their faces properly - she watched them talk. Sam refused to hear any compliments, or to accept that Gaku owed him anything. Mika… She felt her heart melt, and without even realising it, relaxed her position. The temptation to sneak a peek had vanished. All she could think about was the relieved smile on the other demon’s face, and Sam’s badly hidden worry that his friend could get caught.

She recognised the tags Gaku was handing over as the ones Sam wore every day, the ones he’d put around her neck to give her this vision. Their friendship must have meant a lot to him, far more than he was letting on in the memory. 

“The human world…” As she watched, he wrapped the tags in magic to hide them away. “Like I can get any closer.” 

Had he wanted to, then? He must have talked to Gaku about it, or the other demon wouldn’t even know what the brothers had been up to, and now he seemed almost sad he couldn’t go. She smiled to herself, remembering that he had made it. He was here, living proof of his own escape.

She assumed the vision was over, until an orb of green light appeared, hovering by Sam’s shoulder. ...Wait, this was his _mother_? What? _How?_

It seemed like she was telling him off, but with the way it - she - brushed his cheek before leaving, Mika got the impression his mom wasn’t really mad. Still, Sam seemed frustrated. It was an expression of his she was familiar with already. The vision ended before she could see anything else, though, and she found herself looking at the human version of him once more. 

*

Sam slipped the tags free from around her neck, but instead of putting them back on, he looked down at the silver metal cupped in his hands, remembering. He wasn’t exactly sure why he’d chosen that memory to show her. It had actually been a pretty awful day for him. His father had been told, and handed down the usual punishments - but, he had been able to keep Gaku’s identity a secret, which saved the other demon from repercussions. It left Sam the only one to take it out on, but that was okay. Well it would have been okay, if his mother hadn’t also been the target of his father’s fury for letting him run wild.

Gaku and his younger brother had survived though, at least until Sam had run away with his brothers. Would she judge him for leaving them to fend for themselves? Or would she think he was an idiot for risking so much to help them in the first place. ...No, she wouldn’t. Not with what she’d risked to keep five perfect strangers safe.

He met her eyes again, and almost flinched when he saw the way she was looking at him. He’d wanted her to know he wasn’t entirely selfish, but whatever that was in her eyes, he didn’t deserve it. “What did I tell you? Boring.”

“You helped that demon get food.” She sounded far too impressed with him, and he didn’t know what to do with it.

So, Sam scowled down at his hands, and immediately rejected that thread of amazement in her voice. “I was a rebel breaking rules. We’re not supposed to care for the common demons. We’re supposed to let them die out if they don’t have the ability to take care of themselves.” He gritted his teeth, immediately regretting his cold tone. He hadn’t meant to do that. “Whatever. I’m not there anymore. I’m here.”

Her heard her sigh and shift closer to him, forgiving without even asking for an apology. “Sam…”

“Look… I’m sorry.” She just watched at him as he tried to put words together, patient and caring, like she always was with him. What the fuck was he doing?

“You’ve done a lot for me and my brothers… Sheltering us, letting us continue to live here… It may not seem like much, but for us, it means everything.” He shook his head, still barely able to believe she wasn’t kicking them out. “Especially after everything that’s happened to you with that Hell-spawn Malix and Diana being crazy… I don’t think we’ll ever be able to repay you for what you’ve done.”

Sam forced himself to meet her her eyes, hoping she’d understand how much he meant what he was saying. “Thank you.” 

He couldn’t hold her gaze for more than a few seconds though, so he looked down at her hand, covering it with his own. What the hell was she doing with him? She could do so much better. She could have any of his brothers, for a start.

He sat up straighter, trying to shake it off. “Now, get some more sleep. You still need rest. We’ll wake you up when dinner is done.” When she looked like she might refuse, he put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her gently down into the bed.

She wasn’t letting him get away with that, apparently. He didn’t expect it, but her hand was suddenly hooked in his vest, reeling him in for a kiss. His surprise made him freeze up, but even that couldn’t restrain him for long, not with her mouth all soft and inviting under his. Melting against her, Sam heard himself sigh. She could do so much better, but as long as she wanted him, he would do his damnedest to earn more kisses like this.

She _did_ need to rest though. Very gently, he pulled back. She could see the stupid smile he was wearing, but he didn’t even care. Unable to resist licking the taste of her from his lips, he felt somewhat satisfied to see her blush. Much as he’d like to see just how far that flush went, he needed to behave right now. So, he shook his head, but lightly ran his fingers through her hair, hoping his touch might make his refusal to be sucked in by her considerable charms seem less like a rejection.

She hummed softly, her smile surprisingly satisfied as she closed her eyes. After a moment though, she cracked one open again. “Would... Would you mind getting me a glass of water? I haven’t actually had anything to drink since breakfast.” 

“Of course.” He let his fingers drift over her cheek as he withdrew his hand. “Try and sleep, though, okay? It’ll be waiting for you when you wake up.”

She nodded sleepily, and covered her mouth as a yawn crept up on her. He couldn’t help smiling down at her. God, she was cute. “Sleep, doofus.” 

When she obediently closed her eyes again, he went to fetch her some water. He wouldn’t be gone long, she’d be fine.

...She’d be fine, because Diana wasn’t stalking her, apparently. Diana was stalking _him_. UGH. 

He restrained a sigh, but that didn’t stop him sounding exactly as annoyed as he felt. “What the fuck do you want?”

“My, my, such a brute. Didn’t you mother teach you how to treat a woman?” Sure, call him a brute, use the old insult from back home. That was a great way to win him over.

Still, while she was here, she wasn’t in Mika’s room. So, he’d keep talking. “She isn’t here, and frankly, you shouldn’t be either.”

“Ahh-! I’m hurt. Wounded, truly.” Riiiight.

Sam rolled his eyes, already tired of the conversation. “Peh. Like I care, you crazy bitch.”

“Pity. And here I thought I was going to offer you the chance to become something better than just a simple incubus…” She was playing up her femme fatale role to perfection. Unfortunately for her, it was wasted on Sam.

He made sure his disdain was clear as he looked her over. “Like you got anything I care about.” 

Her smirk was really irritating. “How about becoming the next Demon Lord?”

That… Was not what he’d expected. He stared at her, trying to figure out what game she was playing now. “You’re bluffing.”

“Well, currently, I’m the contracted bride to the heir to the throne.” She looked far too pleased with herself for Sam’s liking. “Since the throne is open, it’s available to any son of the Demon Lord’s line.” She leaned a little closer, displaying her cleavage, and Sam… Sam was surprised at just how uninterested by it he was. “Think about it - you’ll gain the throne, the land, and a bride to continue your lineage with.” She smiled at him in a way that suggested all sorts of things would be available to him, if she was his wife. “Doesn’t that sound like a perfect life for an incubus like you?”

She was so sure she had him. Once, maybe, he’d have been interested. She was right, it was pretty much the pinnacle ambition for a lot of demons: a throne, a beautiful wife, a proud lineage. The thing was, though, he’d started to want more complicated things for himself. Besides, after knowing Mika, Diana’s obvious displays of seduction just seemed… Uninspiring.

It was a no-brainer. “You must be crazier than I thought.”

“...What?” The look of offended shock on her face was almost satisfying, but he could see her energy gathering. Trying to intimidate him? “You dare deny-”

No. She wasn’t pulling this shit. Especially not here. 

In a blink, he had slammed her against the wall. His hand flexed around her throat as he resisted the urge to just end her, end the threat she posed to Mika, to his brothers. Only the memory of Damien’s voice, warning him what would happen if they killed her, held him back.

“For once in your life, shut your fucking mouth!”

She glared daggers down at him. “You do not scare me. I can bring you to your knees and make you beg to return with me on a chain leash.”

He heard himself growl before he’d even thought about the fight he was inviting... If he was wrong in his assumption. “Then DO IT. I wanna see you TRY to chain me.” When she did nothing, he smirked at her. “Heh. Called it.” After how long in the human world? Without a human willing to give her energy? Not a chance in hell she could wield that kind of power over him. 

He let her go, though his anger didn’t diminish even as she coughed for air. Still angry, but not attacking. He must be growing up or something. Mom would be proud. “You’re out of power. You’ve been running without recharging and now you’re on your last life.”

“Shut up!!” She pushed herself to her feet and glared at him, trying to regain her dignity. “What’s stopping me from taking your little human’s energy?”

He felt his energy ripple under his skin, and just barely restrained himself. “You go anywhere near her again and I will rip you apart.”

Diana waved dismissively. She was actually disregarding Mika as unimportant? She had no idea. “Pfft! The human girl? You must be joking. A human like her can’t possibly provide you what you need. She’s a human. You’re a demon.”

His doubts twisted in his chest. Diana was wrong though, it wasn’t about what Mika could provide him - it was about what he could give her. Not enough, not ever enough. He was going to try anyway.

Before he could say a word, Mika herself appeared two steps above them. The way she looked at Diana left Sam in no doubt she’d overheard the _entire_ conversation. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but she didn’t give him time to decide.

“Get. Out.” She sounded even more pissed off than she had this morning. He wondered if she could control that spell of hers well enough to shove Diana out the door.

“Well, well, little human. You’re awfully nosy in business that doesn’t concern you.” Diana was being pretty high-handed considering her lack of anything resembling welcome - or power.

“It DOES concern me.” Sam found himself entranced by her expression. She was furious and determined… And defending _him_ , taking his cause on as her own. Once she learned to wield her magic properly, this girl was going to be a force to be reckoned with in _any_ world. What the fuck did she see in him?

“Does it? I don’t think a human would understand the importance of this affair.” How was Diana not getting this? How was she looking at Mika and not seeing potential danger right now? Was she that blinded by the girl’s humanity, or just that desperate?

“You’re asking him to leave to be someone he doesn’t want to be. That’s not going to happen.” The way she said it, Sam was pretty damn sure a whole army could show up on her doorstep and get the same answer.

Diana, however, gave her an unimpressed sneer. “Oh? And what makes you so sure about that?”

“I love him!”

Sam wasn’t proud of it, but his mouth fell open in shock. Wha...? Did she mean that? Demons could fall that fast, as furious and intense about love as about everything, but from what he’d seen of humans it usually took longer. It was a slower, gentler process for them - they were rarely as fierce about it as demons. ...But should he really have expected less of _her_?

He realised he’d missed some of the conversation. Diana was saying something about how demons couldn’t reciprocate human feeling, and Sam had had enough. He couldn’t afford to let Mika doubt him, not even for a moment. Not when she’d fought so hard and put herself on the line like that.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, and she looked… Surprised. Had she thought he was anything other than completely fucking head over heels for her? Pulling her close to his side, he made himself meet her eyes so she’d see the truth in his own.

“I love her.”

There was an intake of breath from the succubus, but he tried to ignore it in favor of watching Mika's reaction. Unfortunately, a certain someone wouldn't be ignored. “A demon love a human...? Impossible.” Ugh, Diana. Shut the fuck up, already.

“Are you deaf? I said I love her.” Diana flinched when he turned his glare back to her, and it should have been satisfying, but… He really didn’t care. Mika had his full attention now, and he didn’t even care enough about this ridiculous woman to fight with her. He just wanted her gone. “You don’t have the brains to understand what love is. It’s not just a human emotion, demons like us can feel it, too. You just have your head so far up your ass that you refuse to see it, just like how you refuse to see that you’ve lost.”

Mika was keeping her eyes on Diana, but Sam was back to looking at her. She seemed almost luminous, bursting with righteous energy, but now he was pressed up against her he could feel a slight tremble. Was she scared? Was she always this scared when she pulled stuff like this? If so, she was damn good at hiding it.

Diana sank into the floor, finally gone, and Mika abruptly relaxed in his arms. He gently turned her to face him, wanting to be able to look at her properly. “You alright?” She nodded in response, looking tired again, but still gave him a smile. He tugged her closer still, letting her tuck her head into his shoulder. He’d keep her safe. He’d keep her safe from the Demon Lord himself, if that bastard came knocking.

As if she could hear his thoughts, she spoke up, words clear and sweet despite being spoken into his vest. “Thank you for defending me.”

Was she serious? Sam pulled back a little, just enough to slide his hand up to her cheek and get her to meet his eyes. “There’s no way I’d let her hurt the one I love.” 

There she went, looking surprised again. He really didn’t think he’d hidden it _that_ well. Like, not at all, really. Maybe human men talked about it more? He could do that.

“I’m an asshole, yeah. Do I deserve to like you? No. I don’t deserve to be holding you now.” She looked like she might say something, but he wasn’t done. “But, you… I just…” You’ve already said it twice, dumbass, spit it out. “I love you, okay? I love you.”

Okay, that was an interesting shade of pink she was turning. He moved his hand slightly so he could slide his fingertips over that lovely blush. If he told her how cute it was he’d sound like Erik, so he didn’t. God, he hoped she wasn’t about to say she’d told Diana she loved him just to get the bitch to go away… 

Probably not, given the way she was turning into his hand, and brushing her lips over his palm. The vice around his chest started to ease off. Maybe she was just having trouble with words, too. Leaning in, he closed his eyes, pausing just before their lips touched. He could feel her breath, her warmth, and willed her to close the gap. _If you can’t tell me, show me._


	19. I Own My Insecurities, I Try to Own My Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam knows clear consent is important. Diana gets gone for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Perfect Girl” by Sarah McLachlan.
> 
> Sexual content ahead!

No matter that he was mostly sure of her feelings, he was enormously relieved when her lips touched his. Even as he returned the kiss, he wrapped both arms around her waist to pick her up, turning and pressing her back against the wall. He didn’t hold back. Couldn’t. He kissed her fiercely, pouring his heart into it, and doing his best to show her exactly how he felt. Her knees start to give way, but he took her weight easily, instinctively. He had her, she was perfectly safe, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be more comfortable somewhere other than the lobby.

Forcing himself to pull back, he became aware that he was trembling as much as she was. Yeah, better to move this elsewhere. Fuck, the way she was looking at him made him blush. They’d only gone beyond kissing once, that time on the roof; she shouldn’t be able to hold that kind of heat in her eyes.

She seemed to realise he was shaking though, and he watched with regret as she reined herself in. “Are you…? I mean, do you need…?”

Shit! That’s not what he wanted her to think at all. “No. I’m fine, I just…” He wanted her. He really wanted her, but she had to be the one to initiate it. He couldn’t risk influencing her even a little, not for this.

Thankfully, once she was reassured that he wasn’t lacking energy, she seemed to get it. She didn’t start kissing him again though, so he had to wonder… Maybe she wasn’t ready? He knew she was interested - the sexual energy radiating from her smelled fucking _amazing_ \- but she was… Inexperienced. And young. He had to remember that.

Taking a deep breath, he pressed his lips to her forehead, trying to reassure her. He might be a sex demon, but that didn’t mean he needed her to do anything. Especially if she wasn’t sure. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to... I mean, it’s up to you.”

He felt her relax against him, and kicked himself that she’d been tense at all. She shouldn’t have to worry about this, not even a little.

“Look, I’m going to love you even if you never want to do this, okay?” He ran his hand up her arm, sliding it back behind her neck to hold her close as he kissed her forehead again, and the tip of her nose. “So don’t ever feel like you have to.”

She tipped her head back enough to meet his eyes, surprising him with her amused smile. “I’m pretty sure ‘never’ isn’t going to be a problem.” He felt her fingertips at the nape of his neck, saw her gaze slide down to his mouth, but she was still hesitating. “I just… It’s only been a week…”

Suddenly she was looking him in the eye again, her blinding smile taking him by surprise. “Exactly a week, actually!”

Sam had no idea what was happening, but Mika slipped away from the wall and started tugging him towards the front door. He let her, even though he was bemused as hell, because she obviously had something important to tell him. Or maybe show him? She stopped a couple of steps away from the door and turned to face him, taking hold of his shoulders to put him exactly where she wanted him to stand.

“You get a do-over.” 

“A do-over?” What the…?

Then it dawned on him what she meant. It was exactly a week today. Hell, it was almost exactly the same time of day when she’d walked into the mansion and found the five of them on the floor. Seriously? He could remember lying over there, bleeding, scared and angry for his brothers... But, it felt like another lifetime. He started blushing as he recalled his behavior that day. Fuck, she really wanted to remember that?

She was looking up at him while he thought about it, far too amused by his discomfort. “You get another chance at our first kiss,” she explained. “One time only offer.”

Huh. For Sam, their first kiss had been… Well, it had been stolen, and she’d made her feelings on it very clear with her fist. He didn’t mind, it _had_ been a shitty thing for him to do, but the kiss itself had been kinda nice. She was sweet, and soft, and he hadn’t wanted to stop even after he’d taken enough energy to heal. He couldn’t actually take back what he’d done - selfishly wouldn’t want to anyway, because then Erik would have been her first kiss, and that didn’t sit well with him - but maybe he could give her something more like the experience he remembered?

_Come on, Sam, you can do this for her._

Feeling his face get even warmer, Sam shifted a little closer, lifting his hand to her cheek. He was close enough to feel her breath stutter over his lips. Now or never, Sam. “Hey.” He wasn’t using even an ounce of magic, but he’d noticed she liked it when his voice got lower, so he did that instead. The flush that spread over her cheeks in response was beautiful. “Are you going to let me kiss you?” 

This time he’d made it an actual question, and she answered by initiating the kiss herself; he felt her approving smile as their lips met. Tangling his fingers in that long, gorgeous hair, he held her gently, letting her take her time, as she teased him sweetly and made his head spin. He let her take the lead, but, gradually, he let a little of his magic wrap around them, just enough for her to feel warm, to feel good. He didn’t consider it cheating because he _had_ enthralled her the first time. It was just that this time, he’d let her choose first. 

He hadn’t considered the complications of it today, though.

“Seduce me.” The words spilled out against his lips, and for a few moments he barely realised she’d actually spoken. He felt his heart lift in excitement, and then almost immediately sink. Trying not to feel disappointed, he dropped the enthrallment and broke the kiss, touching his forehead to hers as he caught his breath. 

Before he could apologise, she spoke again, her voice quiet and serious. “I mean it. I already knew I’d say yes when I dragged you over here.” 

She always seemed to know exactly what to say to get through to him, and before he’d even had time to think, he found himself looking down at her on the bed. She was staring up at him in shock after the sudden dash through the house, and he realised he was maybe rushing things a bit.

Sam sat back on his heels, feeling like an idiot. She’d let him have a ‘do-over’ on their first kiss, but he couldn’t fuck up _this_ first. He had to get it together, or... Suddenly she was laughing, a happy, bright sound, and sitting up to kiss him. Oh. Okay. Okay! Maybe he hadn’t screwed up too badly, after all. Relieved, he let her pull him back into the moment, allowing the soft kiss between them to build into the heat they’d found downstairs. 

Needing fewer layers between them, Sam shrugged his vest off, moving carefully so he didn’t have to give up the addictive heat of her mouth. Tossing the fabric aside, he quickly brought his hands back to touch her - her shoulders, her cheek, her silky hair. While he couldn’t seem to get enough of touching, her hands lifted away from his chest, and he felt the loss acutely enough to groan a protest against her mouth. She was still kissing him though, hot and breathless, so he couldn’t focus on what she was doing - not until he felt her shift and twist under his mouth. Uncertain, he pulled back, only to see that she’d stripped off her shirt. 

He froze. He’d seen her before, in the fading light outside, but this was different somehow. Seeing her illuminated in the late afternoon sun, undressing before him, in her bed… His breath caught in his throat, and his heart thudded hard in his chest. She was so _beautiful_. Was he really this lucky?

She began to blush, and he realised he was staring. Not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, he kissed her again, stroking her cheek with his fingertips and trying to convince himself this was really happening. She was amazing, incredible, but he couldn’t find the words to tell her. He couldn’t really find words at all right now, so he’d show her instead. 

He broke their kiss briefly, just long enough to discard his own shirt, then slowly moved back into her arms. Sliding one of his own behind her back for support, he slowly lay her back on the bed, scattering kisses along her jaw as they went. He kept his attention on her reactions, wanting to make sure he wasn’t pushing too fast… But, from the way she closed her eyes, smiled blissfully, and wrapped herself around him, he figured she was fine. 

Relieved, he shifted to the side so he wouldn't smother her, tightening his arm around her waist to roll her with him until she lay on her side. He kissed her because he couldn’t help it, over and over, replacing all the words he couldn’t say right now with silent promises. _I love you. I have you. I’ll keep you safe._ He was hers, completely. He’d never, ever do anything to harm her, and he prayed she understood that.

*

Hesitant, but slowly gaining confidence, Mika ran her fingers through his hair and across the back of his neck, exploring. Sam’s shoulders felt firm and strong under her hands, and the muscles in his back shifted restlessly as he kissed her, like he was trying to hold himself back. Part of her didn’t want him to, but she couldn’t help be nervous of what might happen if he didn’t. Not because he was a demon, not because he was ridiculously strong or could move faster than she could see - just because she hadn’t done this before. She’d heard the first time hurt. Was that true? She-

His hands were shaking. It had taken her a while to notice but… Was he as nervous as her? She couldn’t be his first, she was sure. Was he that worried about her? About doing this right?

Making a decision, she reached down and unfastened her jeans, trying to be quick before she lost her nerve. She heard his intake of breath as she realised what she was doing, felt him go still as she wriggled denim down over her hips and kicked her jeans free. Refusing to let herself overthink it, she put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him onto his back, following until she was straddling his waist. Nervous, she met his eyes to judge his reaction, but the gold tint over the green reassured her immensely. She broke into a smile as he tugged her down for another kiss, an edge of desperation in the way he lifted his head to meet her part way. She couldn’t believe she could affect him like this, that he _wanted_ her so much. 

When she pulled back to gasp for breath, his mouth wouldn’t leave her skin. It travelled along her jaw and throat, finding the tender spot he’d discovered on the roof, the one that made her completely melt in his arms. She heard a quiet groan by her ear and felt his teeth scrape over her skin, wringing a pleading moan and a sharp, hard shiver from her. The shiver repeated when his fingers found the clasp on her bra, and, after a moment to figure it out by touch, pinched it open.

She had to let go of him to slide the straps down her arms, but as she sat up to pull her bra free, he came with her, kissing freshly exposed skin as her hands fumbled and tangled with the fabric over their heads. She’d lost all coordination, but he didn’t seem to mind. The moment she freed her hands, Mika clung to him, fingers digging hard into his shoulders even as he tried to be gentle with her. The touch of his tongue on sensitive flesh was almost too light, teasing her with tiny flicks and making every nerve in her body cry out for more. She moved her hands to his hair, gripping tighter than she’d meant to as she tried to tell him what she needed. In response, his teeth scraped carefully over her nipple, making her cry out and arch helplessly under his mouth. She could feel his hands tighten around her hips, and when he used his teeth again she heard herself call out his name.

In a blur she was on her back, Sam covering her chest with kisses. When he tried to pull away he had to uncurl her fingers from his hair, and she’d be embarrassed about it if he wasn’t looking at her like he wanted to devour her whole. He pressed his lips to her stomach, holding her gaze as he started sliding her underwear down over her legs. Watching her, always checking she was alright at every step… He cared so much, and her heart seemed to fill her chest to bursting. 

A few moments later he was back, as naked as she was and flushing just as pink. He was gorgeous, he knew he was gorgeous, but he still seemed as shy as her. It only endeared him to her further. 

“Are you-”

She was sure, and silenced him with a kiss. When she curled a leg up over his hip to keep him close, he moaned into her mouth and she felt the unmistakable heat of his enthrallment pushing her desire even higher. He managed to mumble something about how it should help, and a moment later she felt him begin to push inside her. 

Fuck. _Fuck_. She’d heard so many things, but nothing prepared her for it to feel like this. There was no pain, no discomfort, just the incredible feeling of being full. So full. She hadn’t even understood that hollow feeling that came when she was enthralled, or aroused, not really. Not properly. She’d thought she knew, but she had no idea. Certainly no idea what it would feel like to have that empty hunger answered, and while a part of her was dimly aware the enthrallment probably heightened it, that didn’t stop her broken moan spilling into his mouth. She was only kept from begging by the deep, desperate kiss he gave her in response.

He slid one arm under her neck, bracing his own weight and keeping her head at the perfect angle for his kisses. His other hand wandered, sliding over curves and under her hip, changing the angle there too until she was moaning and whimpering into his mouth. All she could do was cling to his shoulders, needing to keep him as close as possible, to feel him everywhere.

When he broke the kiss, breathing hard, she was able to see his eyes. Glowing gold with love and lust, they were entrancing, and she heard herself moan his name again. That seemed to break something inside him. His mouth crashed down on hers, and the hand under her hip moved, sliding between them instead and… Oh. _Oh God_. His fingers found her clit, pressing firmly as his hand was trapped between their bodies, and when his hips snapped forward, harder than before, Mika felt everything just… Snap. She was dimly aware that he kept moving, peppering her with kisses as she rode the wave of pleasure, sobbing his name, over and over.

By the time they’d exhausted each other, the stars had begun to appear again in the darkening evening sky.

***

She woke when the moon was high and bright. They’d missed dinner, and she hadn’t even closed her curtains, but Mika didn’t care. She just snuggled into Sam’s chest, and smiled to herself when he tightened his arms around her, keeping her close even in his sleep. 

Suddenly, she felt her body tighten up. Was his magic coming out in his sleep? Or was he awake after all?

Unfortunately, her mistake quickly became clear when she felt compelled to get out of bed and walk to the balcony. Still completely unclothed, Mika blushed hotly even as the cool night air raised her skin in goosebumps. _Diana_.

She tried to speak, but the succubus’s hold was too strong.

“Before you get all huffy, I didn’t come here to take your precious man away. By the way, how was it exactly? Demons are the best lovers, after all…”

Mika’s angry glare seemed to have no impact, but the paralysing magic did ease off enough to let her speak. “What do you want, Diana?”

Diana gave her a smile that set her teeth on edge. “Well, I just wanted to see how you _truly_ feel. You know, without him around to influence you.”

“What are you talking about?” She was so _sick_ of these games.

“I’m giving you an opportunity to come clean about these feelings of yours and to give you your salvation…” What on earth? Diana wasn’t this stupid, she couldn’t be. This was some serious grasping-at-straws desperation.

“What’s keeping you from just killing me and taking them?” It was a stupid question - or rather, it was stupid to actually ask it - but despite her ability to defend herself with magic, Diana had had the upper hand too many times for Mika not to be curious. Much as she was glad for the restraint, wouldn’t it have been easier to just kill her?

“Heh. You’re not worth my time.” 

“Not worth your time?” The words hit a mark Diana probably hadn’t intended, a place deep inside Mika’s own self-doubt, one which resonated with her father’s voice. “What are you, afraid?”

That had been a mistake, she’d known it even before the words left her mouth. Now Diana was lifting her in the air through magic alone, suspending her over a drop that was sure to kill her, and Mika tried not to look as terrified as she felt.

“Oh, trust me, dear. I’m not afraid to kill you. I can drop you right now and leave your body to rot until the morning, when the boys would find you.”

She sounded pissed off, but enough to actually do it? Mika hoped not. She wondered if she could scream for Damien in her mind, if he’d hear her. Damien… He often woke up early. Would he be the one to find her? Or James? Or, God forbid, Sam. He’d blame himself, she knew, and the thought broke her heart. 

_Please... Please don’t drop me._ She didn’t think she’d ever wanted to _live_ quite this much.

Apparently satisfied that Mika was suitably cowed, Diana drew her back over the railing and onto the balcony. The feeling of solid ground under her feet again made her feel weak with relief, and in a uncomfortable twist, she found she was glad that Diana’s magic kept her standing. While the succubus explained how much work killing the silly little human would be, Mika focused on getting her knees to behave properly. Didn’t much matter what was being said - as long as she wasn’t inclined to drop Mika off the balcony, she could be as condescending as she liked.

When she made her offer, though, Mika couldn’t help but pay attention. “I’m giving you one chance to denounce your love for the demon in your bed, and let me take him and the other boys back to the demon world.” 

This was insane. What was Diana playing at this time? “And why, may I ask, would you do that?”

More nonsense about impossible feelings and happily-ever-afters. As if Mika expected her life to be perfect from now on. As if she didn’t know there were challenges to loving a demon. One thing she was sure of though, was that Sam loved her. Diana seemed to feel very little, except about herself, so it was easy to see why she believed otherwise. There were plenty of humans who believed love wasn’t real, too, but they hadn’t seen the way Sam looked at her, the way he touched her. She remembered once being told that when you’re in love, you ‘just know’. Well, it wasn’t that simple, but there was a certainty to it she’d never experienced before. She was in love, and she was absolutely sure Sam loved her, too.

“The point is, if you give me the boys, I will promise you eternal happiness.”

What a bizarrely non-specific promise. “‘Eternal happiness’?”

The explanation promised her anything she desired. She could understand why there was so much lore about people doing deals with demons, but she still didn’t trust it. It wasn’t as if Diana actually knew what would make her ‘eternally happy’.

“Don’t you wish to be free of your destiny? Your father constantly berating your to become the next CEO of your grandfather’s company?”

Mika suddenly felt cold, like all the blood had drained from her body. “H-how did you-?”

“Just because I play with hearts and sex doesn’t mean I don’t know my way around the human mind. You happen to be an open book of information… But I digress.” She gave Mika a surprisingly gentle smile. “I can give you your freedom with ease. It’ll be like you were always meant to have it. All I ask is that you hand over the boys. What do you say?”

The thought of having her father off her back… But even if Diana was telling the truth, even if it worked, she’d be giving up the man she loved. The boys she cared about. Worse, she’d be handing them over to the fate they’d already tried so hard to escape.

She wouldn’t do that to them. Not even if her father was as bad as the Demon Lord himself.

“Absolutely not.” Prepared for anger, she was surprised when Diana simply sighed and got up to stand on the railing. Then she felt herself lift in the air again, and she realised she might be giving up her life for this choice. Would she die rather than force them back into a life they hated?

Yes.

This time, however, she didn’t float beyond the railing. Nose to nose with Diana, Mika’s mind raced, trying to figure out what was going on. 

“Well, if I can’t return with the boys, I might as well return home with the power to fight back.”

What was she...? Did she want energy? She could have it. Mika would happily sleep all weekend if it meant having some peace for all of them. 

As Diana kissed her, she felt her whole body flare in excitement. She wanted to hate it, resented the fact that she didn’t, but it would be over soon. She repeated the reassurance to herself, again and again, reminding herself that this was by far the best choice available to her.

Eventually, Diana ended the kiss and let her sink back to the safer ground of the balcony. The succubus looked… Stronger somehow. More powerful. How much energy had she taken? More to the point, how was Mika still awake after losing so much?

As if to underscore the change in her, Diana simply stepped away into midair. “May you never regret your choice, human. If you do, I’ll happily come and take it away.”

With that parting shot, she simply turned and walked away through the air, fading into nothingness. 

If Mika hadn’t been so tired, she might have rolled her eyes at the typical dramatic exit.

Instead of dwelling on Diana, she hurried back inside, closing the doors to keep out the chill and climbing back into bed. Thankfully, Sam still didn’t wake, even when she snuggled into his arms for warmth. It was over, and they’d won. 

When Mika finally fell asleep, she didn’t dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, 'safer sex' was kinda skipped over here. There are no pregnancy plans for this fic - poor Mika's still in high school! - but contraception will come up. Eventually. 
> 
> Be responsible, kids!


	20. Been There Before, but Not Like This; Seen It Before, but Not Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Never Again” by Nickelback.
> 
> Apologies for the delay, I was feeling ill and didn't get one single productive thing done. Blankets are nice.
> 
> Content note: Mika doesn't deal very well with making people angry, even when it's not her fault.

She’d been fast asleep when he woke up. Sam didn’t have the heart to wake her, or even risk waking her by moving, so he’d simply stayed where he was. He’d been sort of amused at first, thinking her sleeping face was kinda goofy, in an adorable sort of way. As he watched, though, he took in how peaceful she looked, how relaxed. It really highlighted how stressed she was when she was awake, almost all of the time. He promised himself right then, that he’d do anything he could to ease her burden. 

First off, he’d bring her breakfast. He’d taken quite a lot of her energy last night, enough that he still felt full with it, so she should really rest for as long as possible. There was no reason for her to rush downstairs, no school to worry about on a Saturday, so he’d bring her breakfast to her. Simple.

Unfortunately, his plan was derailed by needing to move his arm out from under her head. He tried not to disturb her, he really did, but he hadn’t counted on her being such a light sleeper. He’d barely reclaimed an inch of his arm before she stirred, turning head into his shoulder with a muffled, sleepy groan. Sam froze, but it was too late.

Mika slowly seemed to realise her head wasn’t cushioned by an actual pillow, and he saw one eye peek up at him through a tangle of dark hair. Trying not to look too amused, he smiled down at her, and brushed that hair out of the way so she could actually see something. 

“Uh… Good morning. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Wait, was she blushing? He opened his mouth to reassure her, but before he could say a word, she’d wrapped around him like some kind of clinging vine, and was sighing happily in the crook of his neck.

Well, okay then. Definitely a good morning. 

“I want to kiss you, but I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.” Her words spilled out as a rushed mumble, almost inaudible, but once he’d deciphered it, he laughed. In turn she slapped at his shoulder, though since she wasn’t looking it hit his upper arm. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not!” He caught her hand before she could swat him again. “You get that I’m from the Demon World, right? It’s not like we have Crest over there.”

“Okay, ew.” She lifted her head from his shoulder, frowning and wrinkling her nose in a way that was far too cute to be taken seriously. Before she could say anything else, he ducked his head and caught her mouth with his to prove he didn’t care. Despite her earlier concerns, she relaxed instantly, melting under his mouth in a way that made it way too tempting not to get out of bed at _all_.

He forced himself to pull away, and tried not to smile too smugly at her dazed expression. “Much as I’d like to stay here all day, I was about to go get you some breakfast.” 

She flushed slightly, trying to sit up despite still being half-tangled with Sam. “You don’t have to...”

“I know, but you used a lot of energy last night…” He’d meant his words to be teasing, a reminder of everything they’d done together, but she went absolutely still, an almost guilty expression flitting across her face. “Because I took it…?” He continued, clueless about what she was thinking. She relaxed again at the clarification, which made him suspicious. “Why, what were you thinking?”

“Huh?” Mika was avoiding his gaze and Sam fought the urge to roll his eyes. He might be more worried about the evasion if she wasn’t such an absolutely atrocious liar.

“You are the worst at this. Spit it out, doofus.”

She swallowed hard, and suddenly Sam felt a chill of foreboding creep up the back of his neck.

“Diana was here.”

“WHAT?” He was half-sitting up before he realised the effect he was having on her. His furious question had made her shrink back, and pull the covers over herself protectively. Dammit, he wasn’t mad at _her_! Forcing the rage down, he settled into the pillows again, and gave her shoulder a gentle tap, inviting her back into his arms. Hesitantly, she shuffled closer and he wrapped around her tightly. “What did she do to you?” How had he slept _through_ it? FUCK! He was so fucking _useless_!

“She was on the balcony. She compelled me, I didn’t mean to…” She sounded scared to tell him, apologetic and almost tearful. Shit, he’d upset her. Good going, Sam.

He took a deep breath and let it out, mentally running through his tai chi breathing exercises and trying to at least suppress the anger in his voice. “Hey, hey. It’s not your fault. She’s powerful, I should have known she wasn’t done.” His control over his temper had its limits. “But I swear, if she touched you-”

Mika spoke up, trying to reassure him, but unable to keep her voice from trembling. “She’s gone. For good, gone.” 

Frustration with himself growing, Sam tried not to sound as angry as he felt. “How can you be sure?” Fuck. Mika couldn’t even meet his eyes, and he felt like the lowest piece of crap. How had their morning turned into this? He didn’t want her like this, scared and too careful with him. It reminded him uncomfortably of some of the servants back home when they had to pass on a message he didn’t want to hear. Like she was hoping he wasn’t going to take it out on her. He’d never taken bad news out on a servant, he sure as hell wasn’t going to take it out on the woman he loved.

“She… She said if she couldn’t take you all with her, then she’d at least return with the power to fight back. She took some energy, that’s all.” Mika shivered at the memory, even as she tried to trivialise it. “If that’s all it takes to get her to go away for good, it’s nothing.”

“It’s NOT-” He felt her flinch again, and consciously lowered his voice. “It’s not nothing! I told her, I _warned_ her, not to touch you.”

She sounded like she was about to cry. “I’m sorry.” 

Wait, what? Confused, Sam tried to refocus himself. Why was she apologising? He tried to keep his voice low, but it just made it sound like he was growling. “What for?”

She started shivering again, and Sam no longer knew if she was scared of the memory of Diana, or of him. “For letting her. I shouldn’t have.”

Sam closed his eyes and counted to ten, rather too quickly for it to do any good. “What do you mean you let her?” 

“Well. Her magic was… But I should have tried harder. I’m sorry!” Her voice was thick with tears, and when he pulled back a bit to look at her, he realised his shoulder was wet from her crying.

“Hey.” Seeing her tears had unexpectedly defused his anger. Instead, he just felt completely helpless. “Hey, don’t…” He tried to wipe her tears away, but they kept coming, though she was weirdly silent through it all. “This isn’t your fault, at all. I’m not… Hey,” he said again, lifting her chin and trying to catch her eye. The best he could manage was her looking at his nose. “I’m not mad at you or anything. _I’m_ the one who’s sorry, okay? I should have been watching out for you.”

Hesitantly, he watched her gaze lift a bit, flickering down again a couple of times before finally meeting his eyes. Whatever she saw there seemed to relax her somewhat, and she started breathing more evenly again. 

Unsure what to do, he started stroking her hair, though his touch was so light the strands were tickling his palms. “Are you okay?” She nodded too quickly, and Sam barely contained a sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry Diana got to you. I’m sorry she was here at all. And I’m _really_ sorry if I freaked you out.”

Her eyes went all wide and she hurriedly shook her head. It was an obvious lie, but he thought this one was more for her sake than his, so he let it slide. 

“Need me to say sorry for anything else?” He was trying to tease her, but the way she rushed to reassure him, he didn’t think she was getting it. At a loss, he just pulled her fully back into his arms and held her, letting her slowly put herself back together without being watched. 

Eventually she started to shift, snuggling closer of her own accord, and he judged that she was probably feeling a bit better. 

“Hey, Mika?” He rarely used her actual name, but he really needed her to know he wasn’t kidding around this time. He knew he was frowning, worried about her, so he was grateful when she answered without moving her head from his shoulder. “I know I’m an asshole. Everyone knows I’m an asshole. But you know I’d never hurt you, right?”

Her hesitation nearly stopped his heart, but he thought her answer hurt more.

“I know. I do. It’s just… Some part of me... I hate seeing people angry, I want to help, to… Fix it.” Want to help, or want to placate as a survival technique? He thought he knew the answer, and squeezed his eyes shut as he was forced to keep his temper under control. For her. God, her dad needed to be punched. _Really_ badly.

“I get angry a lot,” he pointed out carefully, like she might not have noticed. “You just ignored it, before.” 

“No, I…” She hadn’t ignored it? He wasn’t sure what to make of that. “It’s different, now.” 

Different now? Because they were in bed and naked - his instincts could fuck off right now, however that realisation affected them - or because stuff between them was… What? Official? He made a face at his own thoughts.

“Okay, well…” Ugh, he had no idea what he should say. “I’m not angry at you? I don’t think I ever could be.” Not really. Confused, frustrated, maybe even irritated sometimes, sure. He didn’t exactly have the best temper. But angry? With _her_?

He leaned back a little to see her face, but her sad smile felt like something was lodged in his chest. It made him want to wrap her up and keep her away from anything that could hurt her. Keep her here in bed. That could work, right?

“You just don’t know me well enough yet. I’m sure you’ll get angry at me eventually.” 

Sam was at a complete loss. If she’d sounded like his temper was the problem, he’d have tried to reassure her, set about proving himself. But the way she said that, it sounded like _she_ was the problem. Did she even hear herself?

He pulled her close and tucked her head under his chin, feeling like a coward for not being able to keep looking at that expression on her face. “I _swear_ to you, I will never hurt you.” Promises held weight in the Abyssal Plains; words were never just words there. Here, he treated a promise just a seriously, even if the people around him didn’t always get it. “I will look after you and keep you safe, for as long as you’ll have me.”

He felt her shudder in his arms, but couldn’t begin to guess what it meant. A heartbeat later, she was squirming free and pressing a firm kiss to his lips, too quickly for him to respond. “I love you, Sam.” She smiled as she said it, and he had to admit, his mood turned around too, pretty much instantly. Hearing those words from her seemed to make everything bad just fade away, until his heart felt like it might burst. 

Dammit, Damien was never going to to keep a straight face if he was thinking like this around his brothers. Whatever, Damien wasn’t here now.

“I love you, too.” He leaned in to brush his lips over hers, keeping it gentle because he wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted. A good choice, because she broke away after only a couple of seconds.

“You said something about making me breakfast?” Her smile this time wasn’t quite back to normal, but she seemed determined to pretend everything was fine all of a sudden. “Let’s go and see if they’ve left us any food.”

Sam hesitated. Was this kind of turnaround normal? It didn’t feel right. But he nodded anyway, willing to follow her lead. “Sure. I can bring it up to you?” 

“Nah. Mind if I grab a shower before I follow you down though?” She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame it a bit, and seemed to run her tongue over her teeth. “And brush my teeth… Do demons really not do that?”

Distracted by the change of topic, Sam forgot to remind her she should be resting. “Of course we do, we just don’t have mint paste, or whatever. We use this root that grows back home... I guess it tastes more like that herbal stuff?” 

“Oh. That’s a relief.” She was sitting up as she replied, her attention taken up by looking around for something to put on before she would let the sheet drop. It made him frown, unhappy that she felt like she needed to hide herself. Humans were much shyer than demons about this stuff, though. Except sometimes on TV, but he’d learned quickly how television was nothing like real life. He really didn’t get why humans were so contradictory, but he’d learned to be more sensitive since coming here if he didn’t want to get slapped, so he didn’t say anything or pull the sheet away. He just hoped she wouldn’t feel so shy around him for long.

Giving her some privacy, he turned and got out of bed, using his glamor to cover himself for her sake. “I’ll… Get out of your way.” He grabbed his clothes from the floor and pulled them on as quickly as he could without breaking into super speed. Ugh, awkward. “Um. Pancakes okay?” 

“More than.” The big smile she gave him was a huge relief, and he crossed back to the bed to kiss it. She met him on her knees, still wrapped in a sheet, but her hands were a warm and welcome weight against his chest. 

Smiling back at her as he pulled away, Sam affectionately tugged a lock of her hair “Alright then. See you in a few.”


	21. Give Yourself Some Time to Falter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's not in the mood for Erik's teasing, but luckily they've got a mind reader around to smooth things over. Damien is quickly becoming Mika's confidante regarding her anxiety, and tells her a secret in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Perfect Girl” by Sarah McLachlan.
> 
> There's some more anxiety from Mika in this chapter, but it doesn't get too bad.

All of them knew what had happened the night before. You couldn’t be an incubus and not know when someone was having sex in the same house as you, it just wasn’t possible. They’d all avoided talking about it so far, though. James was pretending like nothing had happened. Matthew was trying to be extra cheerful while not looking anyone in the eye. Damien was even quieter than usual, so who knew what he was thinking?

Erik? Erik was amused, and entertaining himself further by planning all the best ways to tease Sam while not embarrassing Mika too much. He didn’t want to upset her, after all, but Sam was absolutely fair game. His target made it especially easy by coming down at least an hour after the rest of them were up, and by himself. 

“And finally, he graces us with his presence! Weren’t you supposed to be the one taking _her_ ener-”

The unexpected blur of his furious brother was pinning him to the wall by his throat before he could even finish speaking, much less think to defend himself.

“Sam!” James’s commanding tone, for once, did nothing to defuse the situation.

“ _Don’t_ talk about her like that,” Sam snarled. “Not _ever_! You got that?”

Stunned, and confused by the sudden behavior, Erik managed to nod rather than fighting back. He was capable, yes, but he could tell Sam was unusually serious about this, and had no wish to provoke a fight with his brother for the sake of pride. His acquiescence was enough to get Sam to let go, and Erik was still rubbing his bruised throat in confusion when Damien spoke up.

“Diana? What has she got to do with it?” 

Sam closed his eyes, focused on his breathing in silence, and Erik recognised it as him trying to control his temper. He hadn’t been this bad in _months_! What was going on?

Soon giving up on whatever exercise he was doing, Sam turned and headed for the coffee machine, waving a hand at Damien in a ‘go on’ motion.

“Diana was here last night. She tried to convince Sam to leave and be the heir…” Their narrator swallowed hard, but continued. “He refused, and Mika supported him. Why couldn’t I hear any of this?” He looked deeply worried, but Sam just shrugged.

“Mind barrier spell? I don’t know, why are you asking me?”

Hesitantly, Damien continued. “Well, whatever the reason, she was convinced to leave.” A slight smile appeared as relayed this news. “It seems she couldn’t argue them out of love.” Sam shot him a warning glance, but Damien’s smile wasn’t dimming, even as the others looked to Sam in surprise.

“Love?” James seemed to be regarding Sam with some wariness. “She’s fallen in love with you?”

“Humans tend to fall in love much more slowly than we do,” Erik disagreed, his voice already healed. Sam had barely even given him a bruise, even though he _had_ been extremely upset over a simple comment - one that hadn’t been intended to insult Mika in the slightest, only tease his brother for sleeping in. It was telling. Erik looked towards Sam and tried not to wince at the rather brutal jabs to the buttons on the coffee machine. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“It’s both of them.” Damien’s soft voice corrected his brothers. “Diana knew she couldn’t win…” He started frowning. “But she came back.”

“Middle of the fucking night,” Sam confirmed, his temper visibly rising again. “Enthralled her… Could have done anything to her, and what did I do?” Everyone in the room flinched as a mug shattered when he slammed it down on the worktop. “Fucking slept like a goddamn baby through the whole thing.”

The other four brothers exchanged looks, and with silent agreement, James took on the responsibility of the follow up question.

“Is she-?”

“She’s fine, no thanks to me.” Sam put his hands flat on the counter and hung his head, apparently forgetting all about coffee. It was probably for the best that he avoided caffeine, in Erik’s opinion. “Diana took her energy, though. _Fuck_.” Sam kicked at a cupboard door that cracked down the middle. No one said a word about it.

Matthew jumped in, keen to help and avenge the harm done to the girl they all cared for. “We’ll find Diana! She-”

“She’s gone,” Sam snapped, shaking his head. “For good this time, from what Mika said.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Erik held his hands up placatingly at Sam’s expression. “Not that I don’t understand your urge towards violence, but better she return home than remain a threat.” 

“Erik’s right,” James said softly, trying to guide Sam away from his anger. “Mika’s safe, that’s what matters.” 

Sam’s shoulders hunched up, confusing most of his brothers, but Damien sighed and stepped up to his side. “Sam, it’s okay.” He seemed to be trying to keep the details of whatever Sam was thinking private. “No, she isn’t. She knows you would never hurt her.”

A silence hung over the room, but before anyone could think of something helpful to say, Damien looked towards the door. “She’s coming downstairs. She seems to be in a good mood... Looking forward to pancakes?”

Sam swore under his breath, apparently remembering he was supposed to be making those, and hurried to the fridge. 

Eager as ever, Matthew rushed to help. “There’s some batter left over! You just have to heat up a pan. Want me to do it?” The glare Sam turned on him made Matthew back up a step, but Sam dropped his eyes again almost immediately.

“I…” Sam scrubbed his hand through his already disheveled hair. “Dammit. I don’t want to burn them or something.” He was putting the quality of Mika’s breakfast over his own pride? Erik hid a smile. It really must be love.

Matthew seemed a bit shocked by the turnaround, but overcame it quickly with a beaming smile. “No problem. Here, want me to show you? I’ll just give you pointers, you can do the actual cooking.”

That seemed to be a compromise Sam was willing to accept, and he nodded his agreement just as Mika poked her head through from the dining room. 

“I wondered where everyone was. What are you all doing in here?”

***

During breakfast, the mood was high. Even though the others had eaten, everybody gathered with fresh tea and coffee, so they could all be together as a family. It was funny, ‘being together as a family’ had come to be something she dreaded back home, with her parents. Here, with five demons she’d only known a week, it was how she imagined other families might be together - laughing, joking, good naturedly bickering over toast-theft. Sam even gave her his last piece of bacon, making sure Erik and Matthew weren’t looking, and blushed deeply when she kissed his cheek in gratitude. 

Mika couldn’t help her constant smile. Despite Diana’s visit, and despite her own guilt over Sam being upset earlier, she felt almost giddy with happiness. She’d been concerned that things would change after she and Sam… Well, after last night. The only difference she’d noticed at all was Damien’s smile, which seemed to be a reflection of hers. She caught his eye at one point, and focused a thought for him: _You seem to be in a good mood this morning._

He had waited a few moments for his brothers to be distracted before replying, quietly and only for her. “It’s hard to be anything else when you’re so happy.”

She had, predictably, blushed, but reached over to squeeze his hand rather than letting shyness take over. “Thank you.” She felt, somehow, that she had a lot to thank Damien for. He seemed to understand her so well, in ways that were more than just hearing her thoughts. She needed to make some time for him soon, to thank him properly for his help when she’d had a meltdown the other day.

Before she could even coalesce that into a proper thought, she was distracted by James asking a question. “Sam was just saying that you knew some tai chi, miss, as well as taekwando. I was wondering if you knew any other of the eastern martial arts?” She caught Sam roll his eyes in the corner of her vision, but had no idea why. Perhaps James was trying to make some kind of point to him?

“Oh, um. No. Well, I took karate for a few weeks, years ago, but ended up choosing taekwando instead. My instructor suggested I take up tai chi as well. I… Only really learned the basics of that,” she confessed, not looking at Sam. “I didn’t have time for two regular classes.” Not on top of everything else. She had tried to keep the tai chi going in her few quiet moments at home, though.

“I tried it once,” Matthew put in, “But I couldn’t really… It was boring,” he confessed, looking almost embarrassed to admit it. 

“You didn’t focus on it,” Sam replied, like this was an old argument. 

“Because it’s boring,” Matthew replied with a grin, finding his humor again in teasing Sam, who scoffed at him.

“Not everything is supposed to be fun.” 

Mika hid a smile when she recognised Sam’s words. It was almost exactly what he’d told her when she’d joined him doing tai chi last weekend. “Well, I do enjoy it, even if I don’t get to do it much.”

Sam shifted slightly, almost nervously, and glanced her way. “You could join me. If you want.”

“Oh. I...” She hesitated, not wanting him to feel obligated and have her spoil his practice. “I really only know a few basic forms.” 

“That’s okay.” He shrugged, like it was no big deal. “I could show you.”

Feeling everyone’s eyes on her, she was sure her cheeks were turning pink. “Um… I guess? If you’re sure.” Her worry that he was just trying to be nice faded somewhat, when she noticed a small smile he was trying to hide from his brothers. He _wanted_ to spend the time with her, at least that’s what it seemed like. She hoped she wouldn’t be an annoyance, or a bad student. She got the feeling he used tai chi to help himself, with his impulsiveness or his temper or something, and didn’t want to ruin it for him.

The conversation moved on, and Mika tried not to dwell on her nervousness. Why was she nervous _now_? It was stupid! Except that, now, she felt like she had something to lose. If he got frustrated or angry, or she became an irritation to him by wanting too much of his time, or-

Her thoughts cut off when Damien took her hand, and she met his eyes in surprise. He was smiling kindly, and she remembered he’d probably heard everything going through her mind. Before she could start to panic that he might say something out loud, he cut her off with a gentle request.

“Would you help me with something? I’ve been meaning to ask, but with everything going on this past week I didn’t want to bother you.” 

Her attention was immediately diverted by the fact he’d needed something and not felt he could ask. “Of course, Damien, don’t be silly! You can always ask!” 

“Have you finished?” He looked towards her empty plate, and she nodded. 

“Yes, I don’t think I could eat another bite,” she confirmed quickly. Giving her another of his sweet smiles, Damien kept his hand in hers and led her quietly from the room. The others didn’t stop talking, so she assumed no one would mind.

He took her to the library, which she guessed was simply for privacy. When they got there, though, the question he had wasn’t what she expected.

“Are you alright?”

Surprised, Mika’s reflex was to step back a bit and try and pull her hand from his. She instinctively wanted to wrap her arms around herself, as though she could physically hold everything in. He seemed to guess that though, and wouldn’t let her hand go.

“It’s okay, really. I won’t push if you don’t want me to.” Despite his assurance, he was looking at her with obvious concern. 

She stopped trying to pull away, but still wasn’t certain what to do with his question. “I’m fine.” He knew better, and she flinched from the disbelieving look he gave her. “I just don’t want to be any trouble.”

“You aren’t. I think if Sam had his way he’d be by your side constantly.” He smiled a little at her blush. “I know he told you he loves you. He meant it.”

“So did I!” She insisted, almost instantly. “I just… I don’t want to…” Struggling for words, she looked back up at Damien when he squeezed her hand.

“You… Don’t believe it will last.” His soft voice hurt to hear, and this time she did pull her hand away. 

“He’s just… He’s brave and sweet, and he makes me feel like… Like I’m someone special. And I’m not any of those things! I’m boring and clumsy, and not very clever... I hardly have any friends. Naomi and Suzu only put up with me because I’ve known them forever. I have so much to do all the time, and I’m already behind on studying, and what if I can’t give him the time or attention he wants? But then I do want to spend time with him, so what if I’m too much? I just-”

Damien cut her off, covering her mouth gently with his hand, and she blushed bright red. Mika really didn’t know why the floodgates had opened like that - maybe because she knew he’d heard her thoughts anyway so he’d already seen a little of it? Either way, he didn’t need her whining about all her silly insecurities and-

“Mika.” She realised that even after he’d covered her mouth, she’d continued rambling in her mind.

She was such an idiot. “Sorry.” Her voice was muffled behind his palm, but he seemed to understand.

“Mika, you _are_ brave, and sweet, and clever. Your friends love you for who you are, and so does Sam. You make my brothers and I all feel special, and no, I’m not saying it because I’m fulfilling some script you think I feel obligated to follow.” He gave her a pointed look and moved his hand from her mouth, letting it drop to hold onto hers again. “You think you’re not brave, or that you’re weak? You stood up to Malix, and fought him yourself when he took you. Yes, you had to call for help, but he wasn’t _human_! What you did manage to do was amazing! You stood up to Diana, too, more than once. She is very powerful, and even knowing that, you put yourself between her and us.” 

She’d never heard him say this much at once, but Damien was starting to break through her cloud of doubt. He seemed to see it, too, so he continued. “You’re kind, and you’re caring. You go out of your way for others, even when you risk yourself doing so. You took in five unknown demons because they needed help,” he added quietly, “And then let them stay. Mika, you are a beautiful, wonderful person, and we don’t think that because we don’t know you. We think that because we _do_.”

It was hard to argue that he didn’t really know her when he could read her mind. Embarrassed that she’d let herself get so worked up, she hung her head and looked away, feeling ridiculous, but Damien pulled her into a gentle hug. “I won’t ask where you learned to be so hard on yourself.” His words only came out in a murmur, but she somehow got the feeling there was a lot of weight behind them. “But you deserve far more kindness than you allow yourself.”

Mika buried her face into Damien’s shoulder, trying not to cry. She couldn’t believe anyone saw her that way, it didn’t seem real, but she also didn’t think Damien would lie to her. Her mind tried to taunt her that he just hadn’t known her long enough, but she managed to summon the strength to shove that voice away this time. 

“Thank you.” She was quiet, but he must have heard her because she heard him hum in response. 

“There’s no need.” His hand was rubbing soothing circles on her back. “There really was something I wanted to ask you though.” 

“Hm?” She looked up, giving him her attention even though he could tell she was still trying to calm her mind. 

“Well, I…” It was his turn to look embarrassed, and he stepped back a little, closing himself off a bit even as she recognised it as the same behavior she’d tried with him. 

“It’s okay,” she promised, offering her hand and a small smile. “Whatever you need…”

“I can’t read.” Mika blinked at him, not expecting that at all, but quickly tried to hide her surprise as he continued. “I was never taught, in the Demon World,” he confessed. “I started to learn when I came here, but I still…” 

Damien trailed off and looked around the room. “It’s something a child can do, but I’m still struggling. There’s so much here though, so many books.” He looked at Mika hopefully, like he wanted her to understand what he wasn’t quite saying.

“You’re wondering if I could help?” She guessed, smiling at him fondly. “Of course I will. Have you learned how to sound words out?” When he nodded hesitantly, she gave him a big smile and turned towards a corner of the room she was very familiar with. After scanning the shelves quickly, she came back to him with a book bound in brown leather. The front was stamped with an image of a shoe - Cinderella’s glass slipper, specifically.

“This is a book I used to read all the time,” she explained. “It’s a collection of fairy tales. I had a copy at home, but my grandfather bought me one to keep here, so he could read to me.”

Damien seemed entranced, taking the book when she offered it and running his fingers over the ridges of the design. “Fairy tales?” 

“Mm-hm, stories we tell our children about princes and princesses, curses, witches, magic...” She blushed a little, realising how all that must sound to a demon. “They’ll probably seem silly to you, especially these versions. The originals were… Not always as nice. But sometimes as a child you just want to know everyone lives happily ever after. These are the best known versions, where love always wins and everything works out in the end. They’re aimed at youn- ah, less experienced readers.” She corrected herself quickly, not wanting him to feel childish. “So I thought you might find them good to practice with? If you want me to read with you, I can,” she added quickly. “But if you can read a little then you can probably manage most words in here. There might be a few unfamiliar ones, but I’m always happy to help!”

Realising she was rambling, she was grateful when Damien prevented her talking anymore with a hug. “Thank you.” After a few moments he pulled back, looking down at the book in wonder. “James has helped me when he could, but he doesn’t know this library well yet, and didn’t know what to suggest.”

Mika’s heart broke for him, for everything he’d struggled with and the way he’d been treated by his father. “It’s yours. To keep,” she clarified. “I told you, I have another copy,” she added before he could protest, giving him a warm, reassuring smile. “It’s at my parents’ house at the moment though, so you’ll have to let me read this one with you sometimes!”

“O-of course.” Damien looked absolutely floored that she was giving him a simple book, and she almost wanted to cry for him.

“Would you like me to show you my favorite story?” She offered gently. When he nodded, still wide-eyed, she led him towards the chairs, and dragged one to sit beside the other so he could follow along as she read to him. 

“Comfortable?” At his eager agreement, Mika smiled happily, glad she could give him this. Turning the book to the right page, she began to read. “Once upon a time...”


	22. I Could Barely Catch My Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam begins to realise just how much Mika crams into her schedule, and that the last week of emergencies has set her back more than she let on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “The Door” by J.J. Essen.

Sam had found her in the library with Damien, who seemed captivated by the story she was telling him. Reading to him. Sam didn’t want to interrupt, but he also found himself longing to be a part of the moment, to share whatever they were sharing. He let that desire win, though he tried to keep his voice on the softer side so he wouldn’t startle them and spoil the fun. “Hey. What are you two up to? We wondered where you’d gone.” 

Mika looked up at him with a happy, welcoming smile, and he couldn’t help but smile back. She had that kind of effect. “Sorry. I was showing Damien one of my favorite stories when I was growing up.” She glanced down at the book and flicked one page over, then back again. “We’re almost done, but if you don’t mind only hearing the end you can join us?”

Sam shrugged like he wasn’t bothered, but went to lean on the back of her chair so he could look at what she was reading. Half the page was taken up by an illustration of some guy in a fancy jacket putting a shoe on a serving girl’s foot. What even was this? Mika kept reading, something about a step mother trying to hide a girl away, but she appeared anyway and had to try a shoe on. Which proved she was the person the prince was looking for. Really? 

Mika was tracing her finger along under the words to help Damien keep up, and helped Sam too without realising it. He still couldn’t read much, but this was less overwhelming than the impenetrable walls of small letters in James’s books. The story still seemed weird, but from the way Damien was smiling maybe you had to hear the whole thing for it to make sense.

He waited for her to finish and hand the book to his brother, who was beaming at her. Sam didn’t really understand whatever they’d just shared and felt kinda left out, but he couldn’t mind too much. Not with Damien, not when she was showing such kindness to his youngest brother, who’d sorely lacked any kind of care in his life. He didn’t think he could feel like this about anyone who didn’t love his brothers, but that didn’t stop him being grateful for her.

“Thank you, Mika.” Damien was looking down at the book, running his hands over the cover. “Would you… I mean, if you’re not too busy, maybe we could read another one tomorrow? Or the next day! There’s no rush.” 

“Of course! Maybe Beauty and the Beast?” She gave Damien a warm smile, even as Sam blinked away surprise at the title. He found himself wondering if they wouldn’t mind him joining them next time.

But, that was later. For now, he tapped Mika lightly on the head, and felt his lips tug into a smile when she looked up and met his eyes. “I was thinking about doing some practice this morning. Tai chi,” he clarified. “Did you want to join me?” She began to smile, but it turned into a frown before it fully formed. Without stopping to think, he reached down to smooth the creases away with his thumb. “What’s wrong?”

“I’d like to, I would, but I’m getting really behind in studying. I promised myself I’d do that today.”

“All day?” He frowned. “Really?”

“I barely had any time this past week. Between Malix and the dinner party…” And Diana, Sam thought to himself, frustrated again at how much danger they’d brought to Mika’s doorstep.

“You’ll have to take a break sometime.” He recognised her ‘evasive face’ immediately. “Seriously, you’ll have to eat, at least.”

“Well, yes, but I can eat and read at the same time.” Sam looked at her, incredulous. She wasn’t going to take a break all day? 

Damien spoke up, worried now he realised how tightly she was trying to schedule herself. “I didn’t mean to take up your time…”

“Oh, no, really it’s okay! I wanted to help,” Mika reassured quickly, squeezing his hand. Then she looked back up at Sam, worried, like she was afraid she'd think he was less important than Damien. “Alright. You’re right, I should take a break at some point. That would mean you have to wait until later, though…”

“I don’t mind,” Sam replied immediately, just happy she was agreeing not to work herself into the ground. “How about this afternoon?” 

“Deal. But, that means I should go and get some work done now.” She squeezed Damien’s hand again, then got up and walked around the chair to Sam, pushing up on her toes to kiss his cheek. She seemed reluctant to pull away, so he took advantage and turned his head, brushing his lips over hers. He kept it light and gentle, just returning her affection, but she still turned a pleasing shade of pink before she left. 

Once she was out of earshot, Damien started apologising, but Sam reached down and ruffled his brother’s hair. “It’s fine. What were you guys reading, anyway?” 

Damien looked back to the book with the same kind of awe he’d shown before. “It’s a book of ‘fairy tales’. She used to read them when she was a child, and thought they’d be good practice for me. It is… Easier, than the books James reads.” He looked up at Sam with amazement. “She gave it to me.” 

Sam didn’t know how faeries came into it, but it really didn’t matter. Damien had something of his own, a book of of all things, given as a gift just for him. Unlike Sam, he’d always wanted to be able to read, and all his brothers would know how much this would mean to him. Sam couldn’t help but grin, and he ruffled Damien’s hair again. “Guess you’re going to be reading in no time.”

Blushing, but smiling, Damien looked... Hopeful. He wasn’t unaware of Sam’s newly discovered frustration with not being able to read, though, and looked back at the book thoughtfully. “Would you like… I could show you the story she was reading me? I know the importance of the slipper seemed a little weird when you came in at the end, but I think I can read a lot of the words now.” 

Sam was torn. Part of him was curious, but to see Damien’s progression in reading would just highlight how far behind _he_ was.

“Well, I know the letters, and the sounds. Maybe I could teach you those?”

Damien teaching him how to read was almost embarrassing. Sam was the older one, for fuck’s sake, he should be the one teaching! 

“It doesn’t matter how old we are. I know you want to be able to read, to help Mika. I can’t teach you much, but the sooner you begin the sooner you can do it yourself, right?”

Damien’s mind reading made him way too good at knowing what buttons to push. Sam knew exactly what he was doing, but realised he was right. He couldn’t both put off learning, and be pissed off he couldn’t read. Grumbling under his breath, he made his way around the chairs until he could sit in the one Mika had vacated. It was still warm from her body, and the scent of her shampoo was clinging to the cushions, which was a little distracting. But, he needed to focus. _For Mika_.

Opening the book, Damien started him with naming the letters on title page. Sam knew their names well enough, but when they moved to the sounds he didn’t quite grasp how they changed when certain letters were grouped together. It was going to be a long morning.

***

At the sound of a knock on the door, Mika jerked her head up out of her book in surprise. Before she could call out an answer, Sam spoke up. “Hey. I brought you lunch.”

Confused, Mika dug around in her bed covers, looking for her phone. It couldn’t be lunch time alrea- Oh. It was kind of late for lunch, actually. Crap.

Another knock sounded. “Hey, you in there?”

Oh, right. “Come in!” She gave him a sheepish smile as the door opened. “Sorry, I was distracted.” 

“Uh huh.” He walked towards the bed, where she was surrounded by textbooks and notepads, and looked at the sea of paper with uncertainty. “What exactly are you studying?” 

“Oh, well, that’s economics,” she pointed to the spread on her right, “But then I needed to go through last semester’s math notes,” the pile on her left, “To make sure I was getting the underlying statistics right. I’m pretty sure I’ve got it now.” 

“And the stuff behind you?” He looked pretty confused, and Mika had to turn her head to remind herself what was there.

“Oh! That was just some biology reading I had to finish. I’ll probably go over it again later, I left it there so I wouldn’t forget.”

Nodding, though he didn’t seem any less confused, Sam handed over her lunch, and looked around. When she figured out he was looking for somewhere to sit, she hurriedly cleared a space for him with an apology. 

He shook his head, bemused. “How much stuff are you studying?”

“This semester?” She started ticking them off on her fingers of one hand. “I’ve got Calculus, AP English,” he looked confused at that, so she explained, “AP means Advanced Placement, it’s like college level credits in high school. Kinda.” She went back to counting on her fingers. “So, AP English and history… Uh, AP Biology, regular Chemistry, Economics, Spanish, civics-”

“Woah, woah. You’re doing _all_ that?” Sam was looking a little overwhelmed before she’d even finished. “Are humans expected to know _everything_?” 

Mika laughed and shook her head. “No! Nothing like that, just… A broad range of basics, I guess? My courses were chosen with college in mind.” Not that she had a clue what she _wanted_ to do at college, only what her father expected her to do. “We need to fulfil a lot of requirements. The better grades you get, and the more advanced classes you do, the better chance you have of getting into good colleges.” 

Sam looked down at the papers and books scattered across the bed, frowning slightly. “No wonder you were worried about getting everything done.” 

She shrugged, and shifted so she could put her food on her lap and start eating. “I can usually keep up okay. Most of the time I study every day after school though, which gives me some time at the weekend to go out with my friends.”

“Suzu and Naomi?” He frowned deeper, looking up at her this time as he realised they hadn’t dropped by like they did last Saturday. “They didn’t come over today.”

“Oh. Well, Diana sort of told them they wouldn’t hear from me until Monday, and they shouldn’t reply to my messages. It’s okay, though,” she added quickly when he looked pissed off. “With everything I have to catch up on, I should spend this weekend working anyway.”

“It’s not…” He broke off, and she could tell he was consciously trying to calm down. “It’s not okay. You should have told me, I can undo whatever whammy she put on them.” 

Mika really hadn’t thought of that. “I… Well, I really do need to work, so it didn’t seem so bad? It’s just one weekend.”

Sam was frowning again, and his foot was bouncing restlessly, though she didn’t think he’d noticed. “Rest is important, too.” He went quiet, but Mika thought he seemed to have more to say. After a few moments, he proved her right. “Our dad pushed James really hard, had him studying all the time. I mean _all_ the time. Sometimes we wouldn’t even see him for weeks. He’d get kinda…” He seemed to be struggling to find the words he wanted. “I don’t know. Quiet. And sort of… Flat?” Sam met her eyes, looking serious. “Whatever. The point is, it’s important to take breaks. And all that stuff you’ve done for your dad, and dealing with Malix, Diana…” He shoved his hand through his hair, and she could tell he was still feeling guilty about that. “You haven’t had a lot of time to just relax. It’s not good for you.”

His worry was oddly adorable, despite his scowl, and Mika set her plate aside so she could lean over and kiss him. It was just a light brush of lips, but she couldn’t help herself. Seeing him blink at her in surprise, she smiled and gave him another kiss, letting him have a chance to respond this time before pulling back to speak.

“I promise I’ll take a break. Did you still want to do some tai chi today?”

Sam licked his lips for a moment, and she tried not to blush again. “Yeah. When you’ve finished lunch?”

It wasn’t a heavy meal, so it should be fine, and she nodded her agreement. “Did you want to go outside again? Or, well, there’s plenty of space inside, too.”

“We could.” He nodded towards the balcony. “There’s enough room out there, if you don’t want to go downstairs.”

She hadn’t expected his suggestion, and the thought of being out there made her nervous. But that was silly. She wouldn’t let Diana make her scared of her own balcony. Nodding agreement, Mika went back to eating as quickly as she could, actually looking forward to taking a break with Sam. He was right that her mind could use a rest. All she had to do was not get too distracted by Sam himself, and the exercise would probably be good for her.


	23. And Like a Cloud That Has No Silver Lining, the Thunder Never Ever Gives In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika realises she's lost something important, Damien's too low on energy to think straight, and Sam's temper is legendary. In short: a clusterfuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Maggie McCall” by Sandi Thom.
> 
> This chapter is just full of Bad Things. Sorry!

He preferred to practice tai chi in silence most of the time, but there was more to it today than simply practice. Part of him did want to just let her use this time to relax and refocus, but he wanted her safe, and who knew when her dad would next yank the leash? Mika seemed to be having trouble settling into the calm, focused headspace usually required anyway, so he figured he might as well speak up. 

“You know,” he began, easy and conversational. “You can use some of these forms in self defence, too.”

“A bit faster, though,” she joked, flashing him a quick smile. 

“Well, yeah,” he replied, the corner of his mouth tugging up as it always did when she smiled at him. “You know how to use it to break a hold?” When she shook her head, he moved in front of her to demonstrate.

“Here.” He moved her hands to his shoulders, trying really hard to not look at her mouth. It didn’t help that she seemed to be getting distracted by him, too. Come on, Sam, focus. After a deep breath - that was probably a mistake, how did she always smell so good? - he shifted his stance and demonstrated the form he had in mind. 

Tilting her head thoughtfully, Mika stepped back and practiced the movement, using the full form even though he hadn’t used the whole thing to break her hold. “This one, right?”

She was quick on the uptake, and Sam gave her a small smile of approval. “Yeah.” Stepping forward to take hold of her this time, he was surprised when she didn’t wait for him to connect before moving her arms up in the way he’d shown her, blocking him before he even touched her. 

He shook his head, but she grinned back at him and he couldn’t not smile. “Don’t get cocky.” She schooled her face to look super serious in response, and Sam barely managed not to laugh. “Let’s try one arm at a time…”

They worked through a few different possibilities, and the forms to break them. He started with his hands on the shoulders near her throat, but also showed her how to break existing holds on her arms, wrists, and, because he didn’t want to leave anything to chance, her hair. That one was more difficult, not because she couldn’t do it, but because he used the same move Malix had failed at in the lobby - catching a fistful of hair at the back of her head, and using it to pull her closer. It was all slow, nothing that would actually hurt her, but she hadn’t responded to block or break his hold. So, he’d found himself looking down at her breathless, flushed face, completely unable to resist the impulse to kiss her. She seemed to like his hands in her hair. Good to know. 

“I really hope you only respond like that when it’s me,” he murmured against her mouth, “Or that could get awkward.” 

Sam hadn’t actually said that to tease her, not really, he’d just spoken without thinking. She seemed to take it that way though, blushing bright red and squirming away. Realising how he’d sounded, Sam felt his own cheeks heat up, and looked down, rubbing the back of his neck with his now free hand. 

“I… Sorry.” Dammit, he felt like he was always apologising to her. He cleared his throat. “Let’s just… Practice those forms. Make sure you’re used to them.”

She nodded and snuck a shy glance at him, thankfully not looking pissed off, even if she was still blushing. Moving to stand back by her side, Sam tried to forget how much he wanted to kiss her again and concentrate on going through each form precisely. 

At least, that’s what he intended. They’d barely started the second movement when she’d hesitated, looking around herself in confusion. Assuming she’d heard something, he looked around too, only to find her staring at her hands when he came back to her. 

“...What is it?”

“I was just thinking about breathing and being aware of my surroundings…” She looked around again, flexing her fingers at her sides. “I can’t…” Suddenly stopping, she closed her eyes and clenched her fists, frowning in concentration.

Still completely lost, Sam looked around again. “What is it? Did you feel something?”

“...No.” Now she sounded anxious, and Sam looked back to find himself meeting her worried gaze. “I can’t feel _anything_. The energy around the house, everything I could sense since reading my grandfather’s journal, I can’t feel it, or call it.” 

He wasn’t really following, but she wasn’t looking at him anymore. Instead she held out her hand, palm up, and stared at it really hard, muttering something in Latin.

Nothing happened that he could see. 

“...What spell was that?” Mika looked up at him, and the expression she wore had him pulling her into his arms without even thinking about it. “What’s wrong?”

“It didn’t work. The magic’s just… Not there. There’s nothing there!” She sounded panicked, and he held her tighter. “I didn’t even think… I haven’t felt anything today, not since I-” 

She stopped, abruptly, and Sam looked down at her in alarm. “Since what?”

“Since I woke up,” she replied, so quietly he could barely hear her. “Is that what she meant?”

Still clueless, Sam shook his head. “Who?”

“About returning with the power to fight back,” Mika whispered. “Did she… _Could she_... Take my magic?”

Understanding crashed down on Sam hard enough to make him dizzy. Diana. She hadn’t just taken Mika’s energy, she’d stolen her magic. And he’d done nothing to stop it. 

He opened his mouth, but couldn’t speak. Trying again, he managed to form words, even if they sounded a little hoarse. “She could... She’s capable.” 

Her breath hitched, and Sam expected her to start crying, but instead she pulled herself free of his arms, staring at the floor. “I need to get back to work.” 

What? That hadn’t been what he expected, at all, and he reached out to try and tug her back to him. She took another step away, towards her room, and Sam felt a twisting in his chest. “Hey, it’s…” What, okay? It wasn’t okay at all.

“Please, I just want to focus on studying.” She glanced up at him briefly, trying to smile reassuringly and failing completely. “Let me know when it’s time for dinner?”

Unsure what else to do, Sam let his hand fall back to his side and nodded once. “Sure.” She went back to her books, but rather than follow her back into the house and walk through her room, he hauled himself up to the roof. 

This was _his_ fault. No wonder she couldn’t look at him.

***

It was getting late by the time there was another knock on her door, but it was so soft Mika didn’t notice right away, not until a voice followed it.

“Mika?” It was Damien. “It’s almost time for dinner. ...May I come in?”

Looking up from her books, Mika realised how long the shadows in the room were. It was almost sunset, and she was still trying to read the low light. No wonder she was getting a headache. “Of course.” He stepped inside and turned her light on before she could ask. Smiling, she moved her things to one side in case he wanted to sit down. “Everything okay?”

“I should be asking you that,” he replied gently, taking the space she’d made for him to sit.

Realising that he knew about her magic, Mika’s face fell. “I don’t want to talk about it. Not yet,” she clarified, then immediately ignored what she’d just said. “I just… I feel like she took something my grandfather gave me.” A way to keep herself safe. “But at the same time, I feel stupid for being so upset, because if it meant you all being free I would have agreed anyway.” Not that Diana had asked, or even let her know what she was giving up.

“You feel tricked,” Damien observed softly. “You didn’t get a chance to make the choice.”

“No… I didn’t.” Though she was relieved that he seemed to understand her own feelings better than she did, another worry hovered around the edges of her mind, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to bring it into the light.

“It would probably make you feel worse to ignore it.” He was looking at her with concern, and she realised that she hadn’t let this one surface in her thoughts, so he had no idea what was troubling her. 

Unfortunately, thinking about that brought forward the thought she’d been holding back, and Damien made a pained sound. “Your magic isn’t what made Sam fall in love with you, Mika. This won’t change how he feels.”

“But without it, I’m-”

“The girl who stood up to Malix and broke his ribs?” She flushed as Damien smiled. “You didn’t use magic for that.” 

“I did with Diana,” she mumbled back, frowning down at the bedspread.

“True, but hopefully you won’t need to throw any more succubi across the dining room. In this world, you are perfectly capable of defending yourself with your own mind and body.” He reached out to touch her hand, and she glanced up to meet his eyes. “I promise, this past couple of weeks has been unusual for us, too.”

Smiling faintly, Mika let him take her hand. “Maybe. I still-” She broke off when Damien groaned, putting a hand to his forehead in obvious pain. “Damien?”

“I’m… I’m fine. It’s nothing.” She just stared at him, letting him know with very clear thoughts that she wasn’t buying that. “It’s… It’s just a headache. I get it when I run out of…” He paused and winced, lowering his voice like it had been too loud to endure. “...Energy. I’ll be fine.”

He sounded, and looked, like he was holding in a lot of pain, and Mika was worried despite the smile he tried to force to reassure her. “Damien…”

He pulled his hand away and turned to face the door. “N-No! I’ll be fine! I’m used to it.”

That did not make her feel better about the situation, at all. Mika moved to her knees and caught Damien’s shoulder, pulling him back around to face her. “You’re hurting, let me help you. Please?” He stared at her silently, and she begged him inside her mind to let her help. He was becoming one of her closest friends, and she really hated to see him in pain like this.

She could tell the moment he decided to give in, his eyes shifting even as he reached out to pull her closer. The faint warmth of the gentlest enthrallment she’d ever experienced rolled over her skin, and she heard him murmur his thanks before their lips met. His kiss was nervous, almost timid, but she felt comfortable as her energy drained into him, light and warm. It was a little like with Sam, but without her own feelings underlying the magic.

“What the FUCK?” 

Damien’s magic disappeared abruptly, and he scrambled away from her so fast he fell over the end of the bed. Blinking in confusion, Mika looked towards the open door where Sam was standing, looking _furious_ , and hurt. 

She’d only thought to help Damien, not about what it might look like to anyone else. What had she done?

“Sam, I-” 

Mika didn’t get a chance to say anything else before Sam had crossed the room in a blink, punching his brother before Damien could even think to defend himself. “You don’t think she’s had enough done to her? You have to pull _this_ shit?”

Horrified, she threw herself forward, catching his arm before he could get into a fight. More of a fight. “Sam, stop! I said he could!”

She felt him freeze under her hands, and when he turned to look at her the heartbreak on his face felt like a punch to the gut. “You wanted him to?”

That wasn’t exactly what she’d said, was it? “Sam, I-” 

“Fine. I get it.” He broke free of her grip and stepped back, then disappeared before she could say another word. 

Mika couldn’t breathe. Shoving away the voices rising in her mind that taunted her - of course she’d lost him, what did she expect, that she wouldn’t end up ruining it? - she tried to focus on Damien, who was kneeling on the floor with silent tears running down his face. She made her limbs move, forcing her body to obey her until she was crouching in front of him, running her thumb gently over the fast-forming bruise on his cheek.

“Damien? Are you okay?” What a stupid question, Mika, of course he’s not. “I’m so sorry…”

He moved suddenly, gripping her hand tightly between both of his. “ _No_ , this is my fault. I shouldn't have been so thoughtless. Demons… Incubi, we can get very jealous. Back home, there’s status and power in a partnership, and Sam already thinks...”

Her heart was hammering in her chest and she could feel panic clawing at her throat, but she tried to focus on Damien. “Sam already thinks...?”

He met her gaze, his own full of apology. “He blames himself for not being able to protect you.”

“What?” Mika shook her head slowly. “From Diana? But he was asleep.”

“From everything, and being asleep is what he feels guilty about.” Damien closed his eyes, his own guilt biting at him sharply. “He thinks he should have stayed awake to watch over you.”

She stared at him. “That’s ridiculous! He has to sleep too!”

Looking at her again, Damien managed a small, wry smile. “Actually, in the Demon World, we don’t sleep. We can’t protect ourselves if we’re asleep.”

They couldn’t sleep? Ever? “...How do you function?” 

“With food and energy we can stay awake all the time. We rest, but don’t actually sleep.” Damien shifted, lifting the hand he was holding to his mouth and pressing his lips to her fingers in another apology. “He’ll calm down. I’ll talk to him and explain, I promise. It will be okay.”

She shied away from his gaze, trying not to think about how much she’d screwed up, trying to keep focused on Damien so she wouldn’t actually have to face losing Sam.

“Mika…” 

“You said dinner was ready?” Damien nodded hesitantly, but she tried not to notice his worried expression. “You should go and eat something, then,” she encouraged, though she sounded tired. She had no intention of joining him, she just wanted to be alone.

“What about you?”

“I’m not hungry.” He looked worried, but she pulled her hand away from his and turned back to her books. “Really, I just need to get on with my work. Tell Matthew and James I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to waste their time.”

“I… They’ll understand,” Damien assured her quietly. “I’ll ask them to put something aside in case you’re hungry later.

Mika nodded, but otherwise kept her attention on her books until he’d left the room. She noticed a tear drip onto the page and brushed it off the paper, then dried her eyes impatiently. It was her own fault. Her own screw up. She didn’t deserve self-pity. God, when she thought of the look on Sam’s face, how she’d hurt him… 

The tears started to fall faster, and she gave up, pushing her book aside and grabbing a pillow instead to muffle her sobs.


	24. You Know That Dream Where Your Feet Won’t Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Matthew, hanging out in the background, low-key saving the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Island” by Heather Nova.

Mika woke up, curled in warm arms, and for a blissful moment forgot everything that had happened the day before. It only took a few seconds, however, before she realised the shoulder her head was resting on was covered by a t-shirt, and didn’t smell like Sam. 

Then, she remembered. Matthew had brought her some food before he went to bed, insisting she should eat something. She’d barely touched it, but she had let him hold her while she cried, even as she felt stupid and weak for crying _again_ over something that was her own fault. She must have fallen asleep, and he hadn’t moved.

Her head was pounding, and she couldn’t help the groan that escaped as she tried to sit up. Matthew stirred immediately, and despite the ache in her head and heart, the sight of his unruly morning hair and hopeful face did pull her mouth into a bit of a smile.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” The first words out of his mouth almost made her crumble again, but she bit the inside of her cheek to make herself focus. 

“Okay. I think I need something to drink though.” She ran her fingers through her hair to try and tame it, and made a face at all the tangles. “And probably a shower.”

“Alright! Well, you can grab a shower, and I’ll have breakfast ready when you’re done!” He was so earnest about trying to help, she didn’t have the heart to tell him she still wasn’t hungry.

“Okay.” She resisted the urge to ask if Sam had come back to the house. If Matthew had been asleep here, he probably wouldn’t know anyway. 

Beaming at her implied agreement to actually eat food, Matthew gave her one more quick hug before he jumped out of bed to go and make it, as if she might change her mind if he didn’t get on with it. She might have, come to think of it, so maybe he was just being smart.

When she got in the shower, she barely felt the hot water on her skin, or the softness of the towel as she dried off. It felt like she was going through the motions, but wasn’t really awake yet. Wet hair was patted dry, then combed and left as it was. Cold water soaked through her shirt, down her back, but she didn’t even notice.

James must have got started before Matthew, or else she’d been in the shower much longer than she thought, because the table was covered in food when she reached the dining room. Erik held out a seat for her, but aside from a ‘good morning, princess’ he was quiet. She was grateful for the lack of flirting and compliments right now, and showed it with a small smile, which was the best she could do. Everyone was treating her like she was fragile, and she didn’t know how to feel about it. Part of her was annoyed because she wanted to just get on with everything she had to do, as normal, but she was also grateful that they seemed to care so much.

Matthew started offering all her favorite foods to tempt her, and James brought her a perfectly made latte from the kitchen. Erik sat beside her, making gentle small talk and asking what she had planned for the day. They were doing everything they could to make her feel better, but there were still two people missing from the table and she couldn’t stop looking at the empty seats.

James noticed, and she heard him let out a sad sigh. “I’m sorry, miss. Sam hasn’t come back yet.” 

Mika closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He was fine, nothing had happened to him; he would come back eventually. He wouldn’t abandon his brothers. “Damien?” She asked after the other, opening her eyes again to look at Erik when he answered.

“Damien thought it best to keep to himself, this morning. He doesn’t want to risk being between you and Sam when he comes back.” Seeing Mika’s anxious expression, Erik continued quickly. “He’ll be alright, princess, I promise. Sam is not very good at holding his temper, and Damien just wants to avoid another confrontation before you and Sam can talk.”

Before she could say anything else, her phone rang, and she silently cursed it inside her head. Fearing it was her father calling with more tasks for her at the worst possible time, Mika felt her breath get tight and shallow as she looked at the caller ID. It only said ‘home’, so it could be either of her parents calling from the house. While dealing with everything she was already feeling, she couldn’t keep these new emotions off her face. Her anxiety - and her relief when she heard her mother’s voice - were plain to see.

Everyone was quiet as she greeted her mother, trying to focus on their breakfasts to give her the illusion of privacy.

“Hi mom. Yeah, I’m okay.” The lie rolled easily off her tongue. She was used to it. “Lunch? Oh, um, sure. What time?”

James caught her attention with a questioning look, so she covered her phone quickly while her mom was speaking and held it away from her mouth to whisper to him. “She wants me to go over for lunch.” Bringing the phone back to her ear, she returned her attention to the conversation. “12:30’s fine. Um. Will anyone else be there?” She hoped she didn’t sound as worried as she felt. “You don’t _think_ so?” No board members to charm, then. Probably. Thank God. “Alright.”

Mika was silent for a moment as her mother talked, her eyes going back to James. “I don’t know,” she said into the phone, then pulled it away from her ear again. “Why is my mom asking if you want to come?”

James cleared his throat, and she thought she caught a blush. “Tell her yes, I’ll explain in a minute.”

Puzzled, but seeing no harm in it, she confirmed to her mother that they would be having a guest. A few moments later the call ended, and she put her phone down, looking at James expectantly.

“I spoke to both your parents while they were here, miss,” he said, definitely blushing now. “I may have led your father to believe that I was your grandfather’s assistant, rather than his servant, but that I was… Pitching in, to help you host the party and the dinner.”

“Very sneaky, James.” Erik sounded like he approved.

“Why, though?” Matthew asked Mika’s question for her, looking just as confused as she felt.

“I thought it might be wise to win his trust,” James admitted. That he’d used his incubus powers to help smooth over the lies was obvious to Mika, but she didn’t mind. Those kinds of powers had kept her parents from freaking out over the boys being here, after all. She wasn’t quite sure what James’s end game was here, though.

“Mom seems to like you, too,” she pointed out, still a bit bemused by this new situation. 

“I… Well, miss, I wanted you to be able to take to least one of us with you if you had to see your parents outside the mansion.” He held her gaze, though he still looked embarrassed, and she understood what he was saying. He thought she needed help with her father. Her flush matched his.

“It’s a good idea.” Erik broke in, contemplating the scope this gave James to act. “I wish I’d thought of it.” 

That startled Mika out of her thoughts. “No offence, Erik, but please don’t try and charm my mother.” She was a little alarmed at the thought, honestly, but didn’t want to insult him. It was a relief when he merely gave her a playful pout. 

“Of course not, princess. I do try to behave myself with married women.”

Matthew’s snort won a glare, but the younger boy was unfazed. “Sure you’re not saving all your charm for _one_ person in particular?”

James looked interested now, and Mika found herself smiling a little at the thought of James being nosy about his brother’s love life.

At first, Erik refused to say a word, but Matthew was more than happy to spill the gossip. “He met up with this really pretty lady when we went out to the mall, it’s why we took so long.”

“Irene didn’t deserve to be rushed,” Erik insisted, then sighed when he realised he’d confirmed Matthew’s story. “I just didn’t think now was the best time to discuss it,” he added, looking pointedly at his younger brother. 

Matthew glanced guiltily at Mika, and then quickly away again. “Right. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” she assured, giving Matthew a too-quick smile and turning to Erik. “How did you meet her?” 

“She owns the store we went to the other day,” he explained, unable to hide his smile. Like her when she thought about Sam… Usually. “Actually, she owns three across the state,” he added proudly. “She built the business herself, from scratch, in just a few years.”

“Yeeeah, being a succubus probably helped with that,” Matthew teased.

Mika choked on her coffee.

“Oh, she’s no one we know from back home, princess,” Erik hurried to assure her, even as he glared daggers at his overly talkative brother. “She simply chose to live here, like we did.”

“O-” she coughed “-kay. I’m okay. I’m fine,” she repeated when James gently patted her on the back. “Just breathed in a little hot coffee.” Mika coughed again. “I don’t recommend it, stick to drinking,” she advised.

“I’m sorry…” Matthew was looking guilty, still, and Mika got up to go and give him a hug from behind his chair. 

“Stop worrying so much, it’s just a bit of coughing.” They both knew that wasn’t really what he was apologizing for, but he nodded and patted her arm anyway. A moment later, a stuffed grey cat peeked over his shoulder at her, followed by Matthew’s big, hopeful blue eyes. 

She took the toy with a smile and kissed the top of Matthew’s head. “She’s adorable. I think I’ll call her Snowball,” she added, pointing at the almost perfectly round white spot on the cat’s side. 

“That’s a great name!” Matthew beamed up at her, and she ruffled his hair, which was still a mess from sleep. 

“She’s a great cat!” Looking out across the table, still full of food, Mika realised that her appetite was coming back. Not all the way, but enough that she could eat more than a slice of toast. Seeing Erik happy, Matthew making her a toy, having James watching out for her… It all helped.

She hugged Matthew again, in silent gratitude, and went back to her seat. She would eat, then she would do some reading for English class and try not to dwell on anything until Sam came home or she had to go to lunch. It was a plan.

***

When Sam got back, he was starving. It was lunchtime, and he’d already skipped two meals, but he still didn’t go to the kitchen. He wasn’t ready to face James’s scolding for his disappearance, or Damien’s guilt. He especially wasn’t ready to face _her_. So he headed to the roof.

He’d let her down, badly, and she’d found someone else to take care of her. It shouldn’t be surprising. He no longer wanted to punch Damien into the wall, or cry like some little kid, but he wasn’t sure it would last if he saw either of them right now. He’d fucked up. It was his own fault, but that didn’t stop it feeling like his chest had been shredded open, and he had no idea how long it would take for this feeling to ease up. Maybe he _should_ just go back home, but the thought of leaving his brothers only made everything hurt more. He might not be ready to face any of them right now, but…

But he wasn’t getting a choice, apparently.

Sam glared at the hands that had appeared on the edges of the tile, then rolled his eyes at Matthew’s huffs for breath as he tried to pull himself up. 

“For fuck’s sake.” At least it wasn’t Damien. Sam leaned down and grabbed Matthew’s wrists to pull him up before he slipped and fell or something.

“Thanks!” Matthew’s enthusiasm wasn’t wanted, but Sam sat back down anyway, and let his brother do the same. 

“James send you?” 

“Huh?” Matthew shook his head. “No. He’s… Not here.” 

Sam lifted an eyebrow. “He went looking for me?”

“No, he knew you’d be back when you were ready.” He sighed, and Sam watched as he tried fruitlessly to tame his fluffy hair in the breeze. “Mika’s mom wanted her to come over. James went with her so she wouldn’t be on her own.” Sam didn’t even question how James would explain his presence - this was James, it would be easy for him to exert that kind of influence. There was one question, though.

“James? Not Damien?” Fuck, even saying his brother’s name hurt now.

“Are you serious? He hasn’t gone near her since you left.” Matthew frowned at his brother. “Did you really think he’d force himself on her?”

Sam did not want to talk about this, but why had Damien been staying away? Guilt? A bit late for that. “I wasn’t thinking. She set me straight.”

“...Yeah, I don’t think she did, because you still look like you wanna murder someone.”

“Fuck off, Matthew. What do you want me to say? Give them my blessing?” Matthew was staring at him like he’d grown a second head, and Sam growled, turning back to the view which wasn’t nearly as pretty as he remembered it.

“Okay, so… You’re not making much sense.” Sam growled again, but Matthew ignored it. “Damien told me that she’d given him some energy, you burst in and punched him, thinking he’d forced her. She told you he hadn’t, and you disappeared because you were pissed off and jealous or something.” 

Sam frowned at him then, trying to make that story fit what he’d seen. “Of course I was pissed off, they didn’t even have the decency to-”

Matthew wasn’t done, and cut Sam off firmly. “I know you’ve got a temper when it comes to her, hell you nearly choked Erik out yesterday because he was teasing you. Though… I guess that was really about Diana... But Damien hasn’t left his room, or healed the bruise you gave him because he thinks he deserves it, and _she_ cried herself to sleep last night. I know, because I went up to try and get her to eat something and she was a mess, man. What’s going on in _your_ head? Because I’m pretty sure she thinks you dumped her.”

Sam stared at Matthew. He hated feeling confused, it pissed him off and he felt shitty enough already, but he was _completely_ bewildered right now. “She thinks I dumped _her_?”

“Yeah. I mean, taking off like that?” His brother frowned at him, and Sam was none the wiser. “You really hurt her.”

“She kissed Damien! What do you want from me?” Angry, but trying not to take it out on Matthew, Sam ducked his head down to his drawn-up knees and scrubbed his hand through his hair.

“Dude... Apart from healing the day we came here, Damien’s had no energy at all. His head was killing him, and she noticed.” He narrowed his eyes as Sam’s wide-eyed stare lifted to his face. “I think you should go talk to him. We’re not in the Demon World anymore, you know? Those rules don’t apply.”

When he’d walked in on that kiss, Sam had only seen what it would have meant to other demons: A changing of allegiance. A deliberate betrayal. Even then he hadn’t thought she’d done it to hurt him, just that she’d found someone more capable of looking after her needs. That it was his brother stung, but then his brothers were the only ones here. But… They’d all kissed her for energy before. Maybe she’d assumed kisses just weren’t a big deal to them? 

Aw, fuck.

“Yeah, that face you’re making?” Sam blinked at the sarcastic tone from his brother. “If it means you’re kicking yourself, good.” Matthew started sliding carefully down the tiles, clearly intending to go back inside. “Go talk to Damien, you dumbass.” He twisted, holding onto the edge of the roof as he began to lower himself down. “And when she gets back, you’d better be prepared to grovel, bro.”

Matthew disappeared, and from the lack of thuds, bangs, or cursing, Sam assumed he’d made it through the window okay. 

Looking out at the view, he tried to get his head straight. He’d thought that kiss meant betrayal and loss, but… Had it just been a stupid misunderstanding? Had she seen Damien hurting and only kissed him to try and help?

Fuck, that sounded _exactly_ like her. Why hadn’t he stopped to ask? Why was he such an _idiot_?

He needed to talk to Damien.


	25. You’re Not the Worthless They Made You Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien is surprisingly understanding about the whole thing (but then, he does know Sam pretty well). Sam and Mika finally talk, a bit, about how they see themselves vs how they see each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added a chapter total (35), but it's only an estimate. Hopefully it's not far off though!
> 
> The title of this chapter's from “Broken Girl” by Matthew West.
> 
> Some sexual content at the end.

Matthew had been sitting with Damien in their bedroom, when Sam’s ‘voice’ returned to the house. Damien tried to talk Matthew out of intervening at first, until he started to actually pay attention to Sam’s thoughts. He’d known Sam was jealous, that much was obvious, and had assumed it was down to old habits - it’s not easy to change the way you think about things after growing up in such a different culture, and it made sense that the heightened possessive feelings that demons were taught to have for their partners would flare up again, especially with Sam’s temper. Only, now he could hear Sam’s thoughts clearly, Damien realised how much he’d underestimated the problem. And he didn’t know what to do about it.

When he’d curled in on himself in response to hearing Sam in his mind again, Matthew had pushed to find out what was wrong, and in the end had pulled out just enough information to go and search out Sam for himself. Meanwhile Damien was lost in both his guilt, and in trying not to listen in to his brothers’ thoughts - but it wasn’t like he could actually control his ‘gift’. In the end, it turned out to be a relief to know that Sam was coming to see him, and more so to know that he wasn’t coming to yell.

When the knock came it was almost hesitant, and Damien felt himself relax a little further at the evidence of diminished anger. When he opened the door, Sam’s thoughts were as easy to see in his expression as his mind, the flinch at seeing the bruise on Damien’s cheek clear enough for anyone to read.

“I’m… You should heal that. I’m sorry.” Hands safely out of sight in his pockets, Sam frowned down at the floor, scuffing his toe against the carpet like a nervous child. “I kinda jumped to the worst possible conclusion, didn’t I?” He snorted at himself. “Like always. I shoulda let you explain.”

Damien sighed and stepped back to let his brother in. Apology accepted.

“Yes, you should have. I knew you’d listen eventually, though.” Sam always calmed down after time to cool off, and they were brothers. He’d known things would get cleared up, but Mika’s heartache in the meantime is what had got under his skin more. He’d been able to hear every time she blamed herself, every inward rebuke - almost viciously given - that she should have known she’d screw up, that she wouldn’t get to stay happy. Damien should have been more careful about accepting energy, and the resulting hurt his thoughtlessness had led to for Mika was why he hadn’t healed the bruise yet. Oh, Sam was certainly due his fair share of blame, but Damien had known better than to kiss her. He could have just taken a little energy from touch, but he’d been hurting _so much_... He’d wanted as much energy as she allowed him, and that selfishness had cost her more than anyone.

Sam was scrubbing his hand through his hair, trying to think of something to say, and Damien resisted the urge to let him stew. There was enough hurt and anxiety going around already.

“We’re alright. Provided you don’t do it again. You hit really hard, you know.” He found himself smiling a little when Sam huffed a sound that wasn’t quite a laugh. 

“I shouldn’t have said you’d…” _Forced her_. Damien heard the words even if Sam couldn’t say them out loud. “I know you better than that, I just-”

“You just didn’t want to believe she’d chosen someone else, and that was the only other option you could see,” Damien interrupted quietly, understanding his brother in ways Sam himself struggled with. “You’re still thinking like a demon.”

“I _am_ a demon,” Sam grumbled, but without any heat. He knew what Damien meant. “Humans don’t usually go around just kissing each other, either.”

Damien hummed thoughtfully, trying to work out if Sam had realised how bad they’d _all_ been at setting boundaries. “She’s tried to adapt to us from the moment we arrived, rather than expecting us to adapt to her, and we’ve all treated kissing quite lightly.” 

“Only when none of us were… Involved.” The quick response lost a lot of its heat to Sam’s blush at referring to his relationship with Mika. That Sam was even less experienced in romance than the rest of them, was something even Damien often forgot.

“We never explained that difference to her though, did we?” Damien let his own guilt back in with his reply. “I should have explained, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I am sorry for that.”

Sam frowned again, though it was all worry this time. He managed to pack a surprising amount of different expressions into the form of a frown, something Damien had often found amusing when it confused others. “Matthew said you were hurting. Why didn’t you say something?”

“I’m… Used to it,” Damien admitted, embarrassed. “I hadn’t thought about it until the pain got worse. No,” he added, hearing where Sam’s mind was going. “It’s not your job to know what _I’m_ thinking. I should have been more careful. That… That’s my fault.”

Sam didn’t look comfortable, but nodded. An acceptance of Damien’s apology, and an agreement to let Damien take responsibility for himself. Well, Sam would try. He was pretty bad at curbing his protectiveness over all of them.

They were both quiet for a few seconds before Damien brought up what he thought of as the _real_ problem. “Sam, about Mika…”

His brother winced, guilt settling over him like a cloud. “I owe her a hell of an apology, I know. Matthew…” Sam glanced up at Damien, like he was hoping for reassurance, or some kind of confirmation that he hadn’t destroyed everything completely. “Matthew said I really hurt her.” 

Damien wished he could give his brother some consolation, but he couldn’t, so he looked at the floor instead. “You did, and I’m sorry Sam, but Matthew doesn’t realise the extent of it.” He could hear Sam starting to panic, and tried to tune it out to focus on how to explain. “You know how hard she is on herself,” he continued softly, ignoring Sam’s whispered curse. “She sees this as more evidence of her being a failure, more proof that she doesn’t deserve anything good.”

He was rarely this blunt, especially about others’ thoughts, and it felt like betraying a confidence but he needed Sam to understand. Besides which, he felt obliged to help fix the problem he’d helped create. He didn’t know how much Sam understood of Mika’s mindset, but he’d expected indignant protests in Mika’s defense, arguments that she shouldn’t think those things. 

He hadn’t expected the wounded sound Sam made as he slumped down to sit on the bed.

“I just keep fucking up. First Malix, then Diana. Now this, because I couldn’t stop and think for two fucking seconds. Maybe she is better off without me.”

Astonished, it took Damien a couple of tries before he could even form a coherent reply. Sam had done a remarkably good job of hiding his _own_ self-esteem issues behind his temper up until now, simply feeling rather than thinking too much. Damien had known they were there, but not to this extent. 

“She doesn’t believe that, Sam. Nor does she blame you for any of it. ...She blames herself for not being strong enough.” Astonishment fading into a kind of baffled amusement, Damien shook his head. “You two are just so alike sometimes.”

Sam stared up at him with obvious irritation. “How is she supposed to stop devils and succubi, for fuck’s sake?” 

This was a serious situation, but Damien found himself struggling to contain an entirely inappropriate swell of humor. “She said much the same about you, though she said it more delicately. Yes, you have powers, but you can’t be everywhere and you can’t help the actions of others. I suggest you talk to her when she gets home, _honestly_ talk, and encourage her to do the same.” Sam didn’t look thrilled, but Damien could tell he knew it was necessary. “The harshest enemy either of you have to face is yourselves. Perhaps you can help each other.”

***

Sam was sitting on the floor beside Mika’s door, head bowed and arms wrapped around his knees. He probably looked pathetic, but he didn’t want to miss her coming home. They really did need to talk, and he didn’t want to keep her thinking he’d walked out on her any longer than necessary. Why did her parents have to pick today to invite her home for lunch? He kept thinking and re-thinking what he should say, second-, third- and fourth-guessing himself until his mind was just running in circles. What if she didn’t want to give him another chance this time? What if-

“Sam?” 

Mika’s voice, quiet and hesitant, broke him out of his reverie, and he lurched to his feet so fast he almost fell over. He’d been over and over what he should say, but in the end his mouth moved faster than his brain, and his carefully constructed apology was completely forgotten. He was barely upright before blurting out, “I’m sorry.” 

She looked kind of surprised, but his mouth was still moving. “I’m sorry I’m an idiot. I should have let you explain, but I just wasn’t thinking _again_ and I…”

Shit. She was starting to cry. Sam froze, completely unsure whether he should try and comfort her, or just leave her alone, or what. When she lowered her head to try and hide her tears behind her hair, he moved on autopilot, closing the space between them in a few steps to rest as hesitant hand on her shoulder. The slightest pressure was all it took to bring her into his arms, and he felt like throwing up when she choked out a sob. He’d made her cry, again, and he felt like the lowest piece of crap. She’d be better off- 

Sam stopped his thoughts from going down that road, trying to remember what Damien had said. Mika blamed herself, just like he did. She’d probably take any attempt to pull back at this point to be a rejection, and he couldn’t allow that.

Carefully, he guided her into her room and over to her bed where he could sit her down. He was intending to crouch down in front of her, to see her clearly and check on her properly, but she wouldn’t let him go. He couldn’t help be reassured by that, even as he worried about her. So, with no other choice, he sat down with her in his arms, head tucked under his chin, and let her take her time.

Eventually she quietened and pulled back, rubbing at her eyes, so Sam leaned over to grab the pack of tissues that had appeared by her bed since yesterday. He figured she might want them, and was proven right when she took one from the box with a murmured thanks to clean herself up, quick and hurried. She was embarrassed, which made Sam somehow feel even worse. His chest and throat were already tight from bearing witness to her misery, and he had to clear his throat before he could speak. 

“I just keep fucking up, don’t I?” Mika reached over immediately to squeeze his hand, and he let her, but his smile wasn’t quite there. “I just… I act before I think. I’ll work on it, I promise.” He turned his hand over so he could hold hers, palm to palm. “Can you forgive me?”

“Of course.” Her throat was raw from crying, but she still sounded relieved. “Sam, I know I screwed up-”

“You didn’t know,” he replied firmly, shaking his head when she started to protest. “No, we’ve all been kinda… We haven’t treated kissing like a big deal when it comes to energy. I know that.” 

He ran his free hand through his hair with a sigh, looking down at the floor. “Look, back ho- Back in the demon world, when two people get together, it’s… Well. Completely monogamous, I guess?” Concubines and slaves didn’t count, but he really didn’t want to confuse the situation right now. She didn’t need to hear about that, and he didn’t want to think about it. “Going to someone else for energy or whatever… It’s generally about trading up. Relationships back there aren’t usually based on love, not like humans understand it; there’s a whole load of complicated stuff about politics, status, and social standing, and going to someone else is about more than just… Whatever humans worry about.” Sam felt himself blushing, but forced himself to carry on. “When you said you’d let Damien kiss you, I just… I thought I’d screwed up one too many times and you wanted someone who could look after you better,” he admitted in a rush. “Someone who was worthy of you. I thought you’d finally seen that I wasn’t strong enough, or good enough.”

“Sam!” Immediately she freed her hand and threw her arms around him, almost knocking him back onto the bed. “You’ve done nothing but be understanding and wonderful!”

He held her gently, stroking his hand over her back even though he was giving her some serious side-eye. “I don’t see how. I’ve just been pissed off at everything and completely failed to protect you.”

Mika pulled away just enough to meet his eyes. Even though hers were still red-rimmed from crying, that fierce, determined look was back, and Sam started to relax for the first time, despite being sure he was about to get told off. He didn’t even mind.

“Don’t be ridiculous! You looked after me when I was worried about Malix.” He had? He just remembered awkwardly giving her his true name and feeling like an idiot. “You came for me when I called. You helped with the house party even though it wasn’t your problem.” Seriously? He’d complained the whole time! Never mind that with Malix she’d had to save _him_ from being shot in the face. “The dinner party, too. You always make me feel like you accept me despite me being a complete mess.” She was not! Stressed, sure, but that was understandable! “You always make me feel like I’m more important than energy, even though I know you need that to survive.” Because she was! He’d shown her he didn’t need to kiss her, or anything else, to _survive_. Of course she was more important! Hell, even if he did need those things, he’d _never_ put that before her wellbeing. He’d work _something_ out. “You even turned down everything Diana was offering, for _me_. I mean, I know your brothers were part of it too, but you told her you were staying because of me, and-”

Sam wasn’t quite sure when he’d decided to kiss her, but apparently it was happening, stopping the flow of words with a gentle pressure. She sighed, melting into his arms instantly, and he tugged her into his lap so he could hold her properly.

“You have a really low bar for wonderful,” he murmured, voice hoarse. “You’re strong and smart, and _really_ pretty. You could have anyone you wanted.”

She flinched from the praise, but shook her head stubbornly. “I only want you.”

“I’m yours, doofus.” He kissed her again, light and gentle. “And I’m going to keep telling you how amazing you are until you believe me.”

Her laugh was more of a hiccup, but she was smiling again, which was the important thing. “Sam… You know jealousy for humans is usually about insecurity too, right? People worry that the person they’re with will find someone else they’d rather be with. If I walked in on you kissing someone, I’d be upset, too.” 

“I hadn’t really thought about it like that,” he admitted. “I guess, society back in the demon world is pretty rigid. There’s castes and… It doesn’t matter. I’m here now, and I won’t be kissing anyone else.”

“Nor will I,” she promised, sounding ashamed. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop to think.”

“You wanted to help Damien, I get that now. Just, maybe if they’re not actively bleeding out on the floor or something, keep it to hand holding if my brothers need energy?” He’d been thinking about this while he waited for her, and realised he couldn’t be sure no one would be caught out again. They all lived in the same house, and if someone started running out of energy, there’s no way Mika wouldn’t want to help. It was probably smart to have an agreement in place. Set some boundaries, or whatever, like Damien had talked about.

She seemed hesitant to agree though. “You’d be okay with that?”

“If they need it, yeah. Running low on energy happens, and Damien’s not wrong that it can hurt.” Damien had experienced it more than the rest of them, but Sam had been there once or twice. “But don’t feel like you have to.”

“I don’t want anyone to be hurt,” she objected, obviously alarmed at the thought. Sam hugged her to him again, letting out a sigh into her hair. She was so kind to them, always put them first, and he was reminded of James’s warnings about how easy it was to influence her to giving up her energy. They had to start planning ahead so she wasn’t put in that position.

“I know, but you’re more than just a source of energy, to all of us. If you don’t want to, then there’s other things we can do, alright? No one will be mad at you. It just means we have to get out of the house more,” he added wryly. They shouldn’t be just hanging around and mooching off her, anyway. 

“Okay.” She didn’t sound convinced, but he’d talk to his brothers, get a proper plan in place to make sure Damien’s situation didn’t keep happening. The best way to make sure she didn’t have to give up energy, was to make sure no one needed her to. 

“Don’t worry about it, hopefully it won’t even be a thing.” He pulled back to look at her, trying to gauge how she was doing now they’d talked it out. She still seemed a little fragile compared to her normal self, but she was looking better. He supposed that for now, the only thing he could do to convince her how important she was to him was look after her. On top of his bullshit, she’d had to see her father today, and he knew that can’t have been easy. 

Unsure how to ask, he ended up just blurting out the question with his usual grace. “So, how was lunch with your parents?”

Surprisingly, she smiled, real and warm, and Sam was immediately relieved. “Really nice, actually. James has completely won them over. I had no idea he knew so much about business management!”

“Huh. So your dad wasn’t a dick this time, then?” Seemed like James had been a good choice of company. He’d been raised to be a leader, and had been reading almost non-stop since they came to the human world, it made sense he’d know what to say. His powers probably hadn’t hurt, either.

Mika actually let out a little laugh at his blunt description of her father, distracting Sam from his thoughts. “He really wasn’t. I haven’t seen him so relaxed in… Well, ever.”

Score for James. Sam was pretty sure he couldn’t have been so diplomatic, but it didn’t stop him wishing he’d been there for her. 

“Should I go and talk to Damien?” The conversation flipped back around, and Sam blinked for a moment before he realised she didn’t mean to ask Damien about her father. 

How did he feel about her spending time with Damien? Mostly alright, actually. He’d expected the jealousy to linger, but now he was actually with her everything felt so much more solid between them. It made it easier to be rational about his brother. “Oh. I… I think he’s okay. But if it would make you feel better?” 

“It would,” she admitted. “As long as you don’t mind.”

“I know I’m a jealous idiot,” he admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I get to say who you do and don’t speak to. I… I know you and Damien are close.” 

“He’s a good friend,” she agreed, though he could tell she was being careful with him. It stung, but he knew he deserved it.

“Yeah, I.” Sam stopped and sighed, dipping his head so their foreheads touched. “Look, I trust you, okay? We both know where we stand now, so it’s fine.” He might still get territorial sometimes, but he owed it to her to keep it under wraps. He couldn’t keep being the Brute, not if he wanted Mika to keep him around.

He felt her fingers lace through his. “Kiss me first?”

Meeting her lips with a soft smile, Sam began gently, intending to give her the reassurance she was looking for. It didn’t seem like gentle was what she was after though.

Mika returned his kiss with a determination that took him by surprise. Before he knew it he was lying back on the bed, Mika’s warm weight pinning him down, her mouth hot and demanding and impossible to refuse. He was pretty sure he heard himself moan when she finally broke the kiss, only to trail her lips along his throat instead. Helpless and dazed under her onslaught, Sam was barely aware when her hands started working his pants open. He lifted his head to looked at her, but was met with another fierce kiss that shut his brain down again. Was this what ‘make up sex’ was like? They hadn’t got that far yet, but he was definitely seeing the appeal.

Feeling her fingers curl around his half-hard cock, Sam bucked into her hand before he could stop himself. Holy crap. Her teeth scraped over his lip and Sam actually _whimpered_. Finally remembering he had hands and could use them, he tangled his fingers in her hair, holding her into another kiss, deep and desperate. 

“Fuck…” He felt rather than saw her smile at his curse, little more than a sharp breath against her lips. Wait, where was she go-

Oh. _Oh_. He hadn’t expected this. Her warm, wet mouth on his cock, drawing a deep groan from him as he frantically tried to keep still for her. She was new to it - he knew that anyway, but the hesitant care she took to keep from hurting him made it obvious. He wanted to tell her she didn’t have to do this, wanted to pull her up and kiss her again, find his way under _her_ clothes, but she wasn’t giving him the option. Always a quick study, Mika was making sure he _couldn’t_ think straight, and about the only control he had over himself was to keep as still as he could, let her take this at her pace. 

His toes curled in his shoes. They hadn’t even undressed and he was seconds away from… Holy hell. How did she do this to him? He gasped out her name in a warning, but that only seemed to encourage her, and he was only just aware of himself enough to keep from gripping her hair too tightly as he spilled into her mouth. 

Hearing her cough, he immediately worried, but she batted his hands away and climbed back on top of him before he could move much. Feeling her curled against his chest, her warm breath tickling where she’d tucked her face into his neck, he relaxed. He needed a minute to get his breath back, but he was definitely returning the favor. Just as soon as he could control his limbs again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so Mika's not handling her low self esteem and insecurity in the healthiest way right now. Try not to be like Mika.
> 
> I'm struggling a bit with chapter 27, it's being difficult with me and RL stress has been through the roof, so there might be a short break after chapter 26 goes up. Not too long though, I hope. I am trying hard to get this fic finished before November, because I'll be doing NaNo.


	26. Well She Seemed Alright by Dawn's Early Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of their making up doesn't go according to (Sam's) plan, but things seem to be getting back to normal in the house. Sam tries to talk to Mika again later, but he's easily distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Independence Day” by Martina McBride.
> 
> More sexual content. Sam's a weak man.

He was not allowed to return the favor. Or rather, he wasn’t given the chance to. Once he could move she pulled away with a smile and told him she needed to brush her teeth. He’d tried to assure her he didn’t mind, but she’d slipped away to the bathroom before he could stop her.

Feeling confused, and a little awkward, Sam tugged his clothes back into place. He should probably clean up too, but he wanted to know what was going on with her first. His nerves were still buzzing, and no part of his body wanted to move so he’d just wait her for her. Catching himself yawning, he tried to remember how long it had been since he slept. Over a day. Damn, he’d really got used to sleeping every night. Only a few hours left before he could crash, it was no big deal to hold out. Even if her bed was ridiculously comfortable. It was no demon bed, sure, but…

Unsure when he’d closed his eyes, Sam forced them open, only to blink in confusion at the fading light. It wasn’t until he started to sit up and his body insisted he stretch before it obeyed him, that he realised he’d fallen asleep.

 _Dammit_. He’d guess it was almost time for dinner. Wait, where was Mika? She must have found him asleep and gone to talk to Damien.

He squashed the feeling rising in his chest, not willing to give oxygen to the jealousy that still simmered there. Fuck, only yesterday morning he’d been pleased that she and Damien were close. He needed to get back to that and forget this stupid, twisted feeling. She hadn’t stayed with him because he’d been _asleep_ for chrissake. In the middle of the day! 

Anyway, hopefully it had given her time to smooth things over between her and Damien. Meaning that now, he could go look for her, right? Right. 

Guessing his brother had been in his room when Mika went looking, Sam headed towards the guest bedrooms. The laughter he heard through the open bedroom door, her laughter, made him smile. She sounded happy again, and thank God for it, seeing her cry felt like a knife twisting in his gut.

He leaned on the doorframe and watched as Mika tried, through her laughter, to get Simon to stop tormenting Matthew. Damien was laughing too, in his quiet way, and Matthew flopped back on his bed with a disgruntled huff that Sam knew him well enough to see right through. If Mika was happy, none of them could be in a bad mood.

Hearing his thoughts, Damien looked up towards the door. Sam gave him a half-smile and a shrug. No, he didn’t mind Mika being here, and yes, everything was fine. Understanding, his youngest brother gave him a big smile, the one Sam hadn’t seen in years until they came to this world. 

Yeah, everything was fine.

***

Sam didn’t get the chance to be alone with Mika again until after dinner. He hadn’t asked for time in case Damien started picking up on thoughts from either of them, instead just letting the evening play out however it happened, and trying to be patient. It wasn’t too hard, actually. Mika’s improved mood seemed to have cheered everyone, and having the whole family around the table in high spirits turned the meal quite lively. Even James, now that he could see Damien and Sam sitting side by side with everything worked out, had joined in. In his own way. Well, there weren’t any lectures or judgemental glares, so overall Sam had to call the whole thing a win. 

Mika offered to clear the table, but was overruled on the basis that doing the chores was _their_ job. James finally gave Sam that steady look he’d been expecting, the one that made him feel like a naughty kid again, and suggested he do it. Well, he guessed he kinda owed them all, so sure. It wasn’t like it would take him long. He didn’t even complain, though he did feel kinda smug when his lack of complaint surprised James. See? He could be adult about things. Sometimes. When he felt like it.

He was finishing up when he heard Mika mention studying. Remembering how much she had to do, he felt kinda bad about interrupting her, especially given how much he’d already disrupted her weekend. Maybe he should let her work for a couple of hours before catching up with her? 

In the end, he waited for her to head upstairs, and then followed her with a glass of water. He didn’t know why he had that really, except that he felt like he should show up with something. Sam just wanted to let her know he was giving her some space to study… And maybe ask if he could stop by again later. She might not want him to, after all - he shouldn’t assume he could just show up and expect to be welcome every night.

When he knocked on her door, he thought he heard… Had she just squeaked?

“Who is it?” Did she sound nervous?

“Just me.” Before he could ask to come in, she was inviting him, with what sounded like relief.

Stepping into her room, he realised why. He’d caught her changing. She wasn’t naked or anything, but the oversized t-shirt she’d put on to be comfortable while she studied didn’t hide much.

Sam couldn’t help smirking at the expanse of leg on show. Though she started blushing, she didn’t look away or hide her face, so he figured a little teasing wouldn’t hurt. “You know, if I was Erik-”

“You’re not,” she cut him off quickly. He wondered for a moment if he’d misread her mood, but then she narrowed her eyes at him playfully. “If you start calling me princess, I’m kicking you out of my room.” 

Sam laughed and shook his head. “Nah, you’re fine, doofus.” She rolled her eyes at the nickname, but she was smiling anyway. “Here, I brought you some water. Figured you might want it if you’re locking yourself away for the rest of the night.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Her sweet smile was enough to make him blush, and he hurried to put the glass on her bedside table, where she could reach it.

“No problem. I, uh. I was also wanted to say sorry for passing out on you earlier.” He winced at the memory, but her sudden, obvious discomfort pulled him from his thoughts. 

“I’m so… I don’t know what came over me.” She was looking down at the bedspread, hiding her blush behind her hair like she did when she was _really_ embarrassed, and Sam moved to sit in front of her.

“Hey. Hey…” He reached out to tip her chin up when she didn’t raise her head. “ _I’m_ not complaining. I mean, I wasn’t expecting it, but…” Something occurred to him, making him hesitate. “You know I _don’t_ expect it, right? If you didn’t like it, well-”

“Oh god…” She buried her face in her hands, and he was worried she was crying for a moment, until he heard her shy laugh. “It’s not that. Really. I just.” She paused when he guided her hands away from her face, wanting to see her expression and be sure he was reading her right. “I just kind of…” Her already dark blush deepened further. “I rushed everything, and afterwards I felt really awkward about it. I was kind of relieved you fell asleep.”

Sam stared at her for a few seconds, taken aback by her honesty. It wasn’t until she started hiding her face again that he remembered he hadn’t answered her.

“It had been kind of a weird day,” he said carefully. “I figured it was a ‘making up’ thing. I was going to return the favor.” Did she just whimper behind her hand? Huh. “...I still can.”

Being an incubus definitely had its perks. The energy he could sense in her suddenly rose in a delicious wave, and he smirked before he could stop himself. Leaning closer, he dipped his voice to a low rumble by her ear. “You want me to?”

The little sigh she let out before her mouth met his made him shiver, and he almost moaned when her hands curled in his vest to pull him even closer. She wasn’t in a rush like before, but there was definitely an urgency to how she touched him, almost like she was afraid he’d disappear. Again. 

Stroking a hand down her back slowly, trying to soothe her, he lost the fight against that suppressed moan when she nipped his lip.

“If you’re trying to get me to hurry up so you can go back to studying…” She gasped out a laugh at the tease, and nipped at his lip again. 

“Don’t be mean!” Her protest drew a chuckle from him. “You’re all…” Sam was vaguely aware of her gesturing at him with her hand in the corner of his vision. “You’re all _you_. I can’t help it!” 

Oh. Sam pulled back a little to stare at her, but she kept her chin up through her blush this time. “But I’m not using my powers.” Yes, very astute Sam, I’m sure she hadn’t realised that.

“You think you need to?” Her question came softly, almost sad, but he was mercifully kept from replying by a kiss. “I love _you_ , Sam, not your powers.” Another kiss, soft and sweet. “Not that I’m saying you shouldn’t use them, they’re a part of you. But that’s all, just a part.”

He looked at her again, stunned. Her gaze dropped a little, but she was just smiling and shrugging a shoulder like it was no big deal. 

He’d thought he couldn’t love her any more, but she just kept surprising him.

Enough waiting. Now Sam was the impatient one. Gathering his energy, he let a gentle swell of heat roll through her body, and her surprised, breathless moan was met by his satisfied growl. 

“You sure you know what you’re letting yourself in for?” Given the way she shivered under his hands and started tugging at his clothes, he didn’t think she’d taken that as the warning it was intended to be.

Before he could distract her, she was sliding her hands fully under his vest and trying to push it off his shoulders. Sam moved back just long enough to yank his vest and shirt off, then immediately closed the distance again, unable to keep his hands off her for long. He couldn’t stop the groan of pleasure when he felt her press against him, all soft and eager, and he slid a hand behind her back so he could pull her even closer. She felt amazing. She _was_ amazing.

She was also moving into his lap, and wrapping her legs around his waist to anchor herself there. He was kind of loving the position they ended up in, her heat warming him even through layers of cotton. She was temptation incarnate, and he was helpless to do anything but moan into her mouth as she kissed him again, demonstrating the same fierce determination she showed in everything. Desperate to distract her before he lost his mind completely, he tried to tug her t-shirt up and off. Mercifully, despite a soft whine at having to break the kiss, she cooperated, letting him pull it free without anything tearing. Yeah, he was getting to where tearing clothes was sounding like a good idea. _Fuck_.

Given how tightly they were pressed together, it wasn’t until his hands wandered down to smooth over her hips that he realised she was naked. She hadn’t been wearing anything under that t-shirt. A heartbeat later Sam’s weight was was pushing her down onto the sheets, and he growled into a desperate, needy kiss that drew a moan from low in her chest. He wanted to be inside her so badly he _ached_ with it. He had a plan, and he was determined to see it through. ...But fuck it, he wasn’t perfect. He let himself be distracted by her mouth for a while longer, kissing her deeply, and finding his hunger was matched in her. 

It was hard to concentrate, but he was careful to sip slowly at her energy, tasting her without tiring her. Sam was so focused on it he almost didn’t notice when her hands started to work on his pants. He sure as hell noticed when one slipped inside though, and broke the kiss with a gasp that morphed into a groan before he could catch his breath. She was laughing, all light and warmth, and he very nearly gave in. Nearly. 

Her cry of disappointment when he pulled away twisted in his chest, and he had to focus to remember why he was doing this, why he wasn’t just giving in to the demands of both their bodies. Unwrapping her legs from around his waist was surprisingly tricky though, despite his strength. She was agile, quick, and unwilling to let him go, and she laughed again when he growled in frustration. 

Enough was enough. Catching her wrists, he pulled both of her hands away from his body and concentrated on his enthrallment. This time he didn’t just nudge her into arousal, but pushed enough of his power into her that she was gasping for breath, arching under him with a pleading whine. It was a bit of a sly trick, but necessary - he needed her to hold still for just one fucking minute! From the way she was looking at him, she wasn’t complaining at all, but he knew she’d be aching if he didn’t touch her or ease off soon. 

He had no intention of letting her be uncomfortable, not even for a moment. Stretching over her, he gave her a gentle kiss, and slipped his hand down between her legs. Sam heard himself groan helplessly when he felt just how ready she was for him. Fucking _hell_. He was kissing her again before he knew it, as hungry and desperate as those little mewls she made while her hips rocked up invitingly into his hand. 

Unable to resist that invitation, he began kissing his way down her body, keeping his hand exactly where it was to give her the pressure and friction her body was craving. He’d eased off with his powers, but it didn’t seem to have calmed her down, which surprised him. Then again, he hadn’t created her hunger from nothing, just jump started and ramped up what was already there, and wasn’t that a miracle? How the hell was _he_ the object of such desire? He really needed to make sure he didn’t fuck up with her again; he couldn’t lose what they had, it was too important.

With an almost relieved sigh, he lowered his head between her thighs, rolling his eyes up to watch her reaction as he tasted her properly for the first time. He wasn’t disappointed. Her breath left her in a sob as she arched off the bed, hands clutching at the sheets, the pillows, her hair, anything she could dig her fingers into. Feeling smug, he wrapped his arms around her thighs, holding her still as he licked at her, exploring and teasing with his tongue, learning what she liked best. He could feel her energy building, trickling into him faster as she got close. A wicked part of him wanted to ease off, to tease her and see what she would do, but not this time. This time he’d give her everything she needed, unquestioningly. 

His name began spilling from her lips, over and over, and he moaned along with her as her energy crashed through him. He had to force himself to concentrate again, not wanting to take too much, but she had so much to give he was full before it became a problem. 

Bringing her down gently, and easing off his enthrallment to the bare minimum so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable, he untangled from her legs and gave himself a moment to just… Breathe. Fuck. 

It was the work of only a moment to shed the rest of his clothes, another to wipe his mouth, then he crawled up the bed and stretched out over her. She was smiling, looking up at him with some kind of wonder, and for once, just a little bit, he thought maybe he really had done something right. He rested his elbow by her head, making it easier to lean down and kiss her. He’d meant to keep it light, but suddenly her arms were around his neck and she was pulling him down hard against her. Either she hadn’t considered where his mouth had been, or it hadn’t bothered her, but he could swear he felt his spine tingle at the sound she made when she tasted herself - kind of curious and hungry all at once. 

He was seriously clinging to his control by his fingertips, and tried to break the kiss to speak, to make sure she was okay for him to carry on. She chose that moment to curl her leg up around his hip and pull him closer, and he finally just gave in.

Sam slid a hand under her lower back, easily lifting her a little to make the angle better as he began to push into her with slow rolls of his hips. Fuck. Fuckfuck _fuck_. He pulled his mouth away from hers so he could breathe, and found himself looking down into wide green eyes. Worried he’d misjudged, he started to pull back, but she tightened her leg around him with a warning growl. A fucking _growl_. It was all soft, and cute as hell, but also really, really hot. 

He took the hint.

As he finally sank into her fully, he tried to keep his eyes on hers, wanting desperately to watch the pleasure on her face. She seemed to be trying to do the same, but after a few moments her eyes fluttered closed, and her mouth fell open in a gasp. He found himself kissing her again, helpless to do otherwise as she moved under him.

They lost themselves in each other, all other intentions swept aside as Sam focused only on her happiness, her pleasure. By the time she fell asleep in his arms he thought he might, just might, have begun to show her how devoted he was. But he was more than happy to try again tomorrow, if she wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter turned into porn. I'm sorry. Kind of.
> 
> The good news is, I've wrestled chapter 27 into submission and there's no sex in it! There's actual plot! Ch28 is on its way to being finished, too, things are flowing again.


	27. A Satin Robe of Denial to Survive the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James tries to help. Tries. Erik gives Sam a well deserved scare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Tears in Your Eyes” by A.S.H.E.S. The Chosen

It took time to look into how humans handled these things. James never did like to rush, and it was even more important to do things right when you were dealing with a person you cared about. 

Since the subject of helping Mika with her problems had first come up, James had been spending a good amount of his free time reading about talking therapies and other treatments for anxiety. There was a lot to absorb, but he felt like he understood the basics at this point. He’d also searched for therapists in the area who specialised in what he thought Mika might need, given her history and personal struggles. A lot of the information he’d come across said it sometimes took more than one try to find a therapist you worked well with, so he’d even made a shortlist for her to look at. 

Hoping for a chance to talk to her, it seemed that fortune was on his side when she joined him in the kitchen before breakfast.

“Good morning, miss. Did you sleep well?”

Her slight blush was rather adorable, though he pretended not to notice for her sake. She tucked her hair back behind her ear, fidgeting a little as she tried to answer without giving herself away, not realising she already had. “Oh… Yes, just completely passed out. Must have been tired from the weekend.”

James hid a smile. “I’m not surprised, it wasn’t very restful. Is everything alright between you and Sam, now?”

Mika blushed bright red. “Um… Yeah. Thanks. We talked it out.” 

“I think the pot of coffee’s ready,” he told her helpfully, redirecting from her embarrassment and giving her something else to focus on. She seemed to need it, as she hurriedly turned to focus on pouring herself a cup. The rest of the pot could go out to the table with breakfast.

He didn’t watch her, but tracked her in the corner of his vision as she loaded her mug with coffee and milk. How should he bring this up?

“Miss… There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” 

“Oh?” She glanced up at him over her cup with a guilty expression. “I’m really sorry, I’ll… I’ll try to be quieter.” 

For a moment, James didn’t understand what she meant. When it hit him, his own cheeks turned an impressive shade of scarlet and he burned himself on the pan. Before he could process all of it, she was grabbing his wrist and shoving his hand under cold water from the tap. What…? Ah, for the burn. 

“Miss?” James rested his other hand over the one holding him in place. “I’m fine, it’s just a minor thing.” Pulling his hand out of the water, he turned it to show her as he healed the light burn and the red receded. 

“Oh. I always forget you guys can do that.” She looked sheepish, but if this slight embarrassment meant the last few moments of conversation was forgotten, he was more than happy to redirect. 

“Understandable, you’ve only seen us do it once. Well, technically not at all, since you were asleep at the time,” he amended, remembering the night they’d met her. He reached for a towel to dry their hands, offering it to her to use first. 

As she did so, he returned to his original point. “I’ve been thinking about how much stress you’ve been under lately, with losing your grandfather, with us showing up in your life, with school… With the events your father asks you to host.” Mika looked up at him curiously as she handed the towel back, and he gave her a gentle smile. “You have a lot going on for such a young woman, and I thought you might benefit from speaking to someone; a professional. I took the liberty of making a list-”

“Speaking to someone?” She stepped back, looking like he’d struck her. “You mean _a therapist?_ ” 

Surprised at her response, James suddenly doubted himself. “Well, yes. I thought-”

“You thought I can’t handle it?” Her tone was rapidly changing from flat shock to anger. “I don’t _need_ some stranger to sit and hold my hand while I whine about how hard life is. I’m _fine_!”

He blinked rapidly, trying to backpedal in his mind to somewhere this response might make sense. What had he said wrong? “Miss… Mika, that’s not what I-”

“I’m not hungry.” She put her coffee down, barely touched. “Suzu and Naomi will be here soon, I’m going to wait for them outside.” 

At a loss, James watched her go, not wanting to invite a bigger argument just before she had to go to school. She was an intelligent woman, and aware of the stress - the pain - her father brought to her life. Why on earth had she reacted like that?

***

Damien offered to help James clean up after breakfast. In contrast to the evening before, this meal had been almost subdued with Mika missing. Erik, Matthew and Sam knew their eldest brother was in a quiet mood, but had no idea why Mika had disappeared. Despite James’s careful guarding of his thoughts, however, Damien could tell _something_ was amiss between their host and their big brother. Sam seemed to suspect at one point, but Damien had gently warned him off. A show of temper would do little to help right now.

After the others dispersed, James tried to keep himself on lockdown - his expression, his thoughts, all of it - but Damien wasn’t having it. He knew an easy way to find his way past those mental tricks being employed to keep him at bay. It wasn’t fair, but then, he wasn’t feeling very fair just now.

“James. What did you do to Mika?”

James immediately turned, mouth open in shock at the accusation. “I’m not… I didn’t!” Damien wasn’t listening to his protest, though - he’d phrased his question like that specifically to force James off balance. His brother’s mind filled with thoughts of the conversation in the kitchen, and Damien got his answer just as James figured out what he’d done. “That was uncalled for, Izroul.”

Damien didn’t flinch. “I’m sorry, Raestrao, but I was worried, and you weren’t in the mood to talk.” 

“Maybe you should have respected that,” James bit back, turning to carry a pile of plates through to the kitchen.

“Maybe,” Damien admitted, following with his hands full of empty mugs. “But Mika was upset, and given you don’t even understand _why_ , maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t.”

James put his load down with rather more noise than necessary. “She clearly felt that I’d overstepped-”

“Is that what she said?” Damien knew it wasn’t. Honestly, he wondered how his brothers would manage without him, sometimes.

“She said she didn’t need think she needed to speak to a professional. Without elaboration, I can only assume she didn’t want to discuss it further with me.” Under the calm statement, Damien could tell he felt hurt. The thought wasn’t in his mind, but Damien knew him well enough to see it.

“Raestrao.” His voice became considerably gentler now he sensed the bruised feelings in his brother’s demeanor. “What she actually said, was that you didn’t think she could handle it. Mika is constantly worried about being good enough, and proving that she can handle anything thrown at her.” Understanding seemed to dawn, gradually, and Damien relaxed a little. “You surprised her with this suggestion right after a tough weekend, just before she had to leave for school. The way she thinks about herself, she probably saw your suggestion as a criticism, if not an insult.” 

James winced, and adjusted his glasses even though it was unnecessary. “That’s not how I meant it.” 

Damien nodded slightly, and reached out a hand to squeeze his brother’s shoulder. “I know, but you could have picked a better time. Maybe brought it up more carefully. Would you like me to speak to her?”

“No.” He shook his head slowly. “No, I think I should. I’m the one who misstepped.” He gave Damien a tight smile. “You don’t have to fix everything around here, you know? We should be able to figure these things out ourselves.”

“I know,” Damien admitted, dropping his gaze. “It’s just… I see so much of what’s inside her head. None of you know what it can be like. I’m glad you don’t, but… I feel responsible.”

“You feel protective,” James murmured, watching his younger brother with understanding. They all knew that James could be even more protective than Sam - of course he’d understand how Damien felt. “Thank you, for clearing it up. You’re right that I was focusing on the wrong thing.”

He flushed a little under his brother’s gaze, wondering for the first time if he was pushing too hard to make everyone get along smoothly. “I’m sorry for accusing you of doing something to her.” 

James gave him a wry smile and shook his head. “You didn’t mean it.”

“No, but I shouldn’t have tricked you into revealing your thoughts, either.” Now he was thinking about it, the guilt started to trickle in. “I shouldn’t use my powers to catch you out like that.” 

“Perhaps I shouldn’t shut you out the moment I find myself on uncertain ground,” James countered gently. “I’m sorry for that.”

Damien put his hands in his pockets, looking uncertain himself. “Do you… No, you’re right. I shouldn’t keep pushing myself into other people’s disagreements.” He shook his head. “I was about to offer to help you work out how to try again with Mika. I really need to start minding my own business.”

James chuckled. “I would like your help, actually. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea again, and no one understands her better than you.”

Damien’s head tilted thoughtfully. “Hm. I don’t know. Sam understands more than we give him credit for.” At James’s look, Damien managed a brief smile. “The trouble this weekend was over him managing _his_ feelings. When I talked to him… Well, he seemed to know more about how she thinks than I thought he would. They’re really very similar in a lot of ways.”

“...I’m not sure how to feel about that,” James admitted. “Do we need another Sam around?”

Damien’s smile came more easily this time. “Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to share his temper.”

***

“We should go shopping,” Sam announced, slumping down on the couch. “I just looked in the fridge and it’s almost empty.” Matthew sighed and got up, mumbling something about making a list as he headed toward the kitchen. Whatever, that wasn’t Sam’s area.

Truthfully, half his mind was elsewhere, anyway. Mika had kissed his cheek when he’d come downstairs that morning, but then taken off without saying much, or eating _anything_. He’d wondered if he’d done something wrong again, until he saw that James wasn’t in a great mood either. A look and a head-shake from Damien had stopped him getting in a fight with his older brother about it, but he was still waiting for an explanation. It might mean waiting until Mika got home though, and Sam had never been particularly patient. Ugh.

Oh, Erik was talking.

Sam rolled his head to the side without lifting it off the cushions. “What was that?”

Erik always looked so irritatingly smug when he arched a single eyebrow like that. “I said, maybe you should make a list of non-food items that need picking up?”

Sam shrugged a shoulder dismissively, feeling weirdly low on energy despite the night before. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Really?” That perfectly arched eyebrow stayed in place. Sam idly wondered if Erik’s face would ever stick like that. “I’d have thought you and the princess might want to get some more supplies for yourselves by now.”

Bringing up Mika always worked to get Sam’s full attention. “Huh? What do you mean?” He frowned, half at Erik, half at his own thoughts. “Like candles or something?” That’s the kind of thing Erik did for his lovers, right?

That huff of laughter wasn’t helping Sam’s mood. “I mean like condoms. She didn’t have much with her when she moved in, so unless she bought some since… Sam?”

Sam was sitting up straight, as white as a ghost. Oh _shit_! _Ohshitohshitohshit_!

“ _Please_ tell me you didn’t forget?” Erik sounded appalled, but Sam really wasn’t hearing him.

Oh, _fuck_. What the hell had he done? Not thought, that’s what! Humans couldn’t control these things with simple spells, not like demons could. Why was he such an IDIOT? Fuck, he hoped he hadn’t ruined everything. She had so much going on already. How fertile were human women? What were the chances of-

“SAM.” Snapping out of his thoughts, he realised Erik was crouched in front of him. That wouldn’t be a good thing if the nausea he was feeling decided to make a bid for freedom, so he tried to wave him aside. 

Sighing deeply, Erik caught Sam’s flailing hands and pushed them away. “Take a deep breath. And another, that’s it. Human women have other options available to them, maybe she’s been using one of those methods. I can’t believe you two haven’t talked about this!”

“Not helping, Erik!” Well, the first bit was good to know, and eased his tension a little. But _fuck_! Why did he never stop to _think_!

“I’ll make sure we add some to the list, just in case.” Sam barely heard him. “Sam, stop it. You can’t do anything now, anyway. Just talk to her when she gets home.” 

Sam deflated, his head dropping down into his hands, his arms only propped up by his knees. His record for fucking up just wasn’t changing.

“And you call me a drama queen.” Sam ignored the dig and pretended he hadn’t heard. He couldn’t ignore Matthew’s voice from the hall, asking if they needed anything though. That little Pipsqueak was _not_ going to know about this.

Unless he’d run out of luck with this screw up, in which case…

Shoving those thoughts away, he sat up straight just before Matthew stepped into the room. Mercifully, Erik was being discreet, and had returned to his own chair already.

“Guys? Couldn’t you hear me? I asked if you want me to add anything to the list! I’ve made sure there’s loads of stuff for pancakes - they seem to be a favourite - but we can get whatever we want!” 

Ugh, Matthew was way too fucking perky. Sam threw a cushion at him on principle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the infamous chapter 27. Not my favourite, I feel like I could have done better, but for whatever reason writing this chapter was like drawing blood from a stone, so... There is it. I think James objected to me writing him making a mistake. >.>


	28. Just Be Still and Pray, and Let the Noise Just Fade Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is crawling out of his skin with impatience until Mika gets home, when they can actually talk about that thing they _should_ have talked about in chapter 19.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Hush” by HELLYEAH.
> 
> Okay, so there's a content note on this one, in the end notes. Possibly _the_ content note to pay attention to, based on my experience writing it, and one person's response reading it. YMMV.

Waiting out the afternoon until Mika got home was hellish. Sam paced. He bickered with Matthew even more than usual. He went for a run, and after realising that he’d only killed 15 minutes with his 10 mile run, he did it again.

Wait, this was a bad idea, he shouldn’t be burning off this much energy. Dammit!

Returning home now, halfway through the route would be pointless, since it would be the same distance back either way. He did slow down though, running at human speed (well, ish) and successfully using up another whole thirty minutes. Matthew was unlucky enough to be in the lobby when Sam got back, and his offended nose-wrinkle at the sweaty state Sam was in won him a wet missile to the head.

Matthew batted away the soaking wet tank top, his horrified shriek of protest actually managing to make Sam laugh. “It’s just a little sweat, Squirt! You should try working out once in a while, then you might not be so scared of it.”

“Squirt?! Hey, I’m not scared!”

Sam didn’t bother continuing the conversation, simply headed for the downstairs bathroom. Leaving Matthew outraged was one of his favorite pastimes, after all, and he had a shower to take before Mika got home. From the sounds of loud complaining coming from the lobby, Matthew was venting at someone else, anyway.

Taking a shower never took long, especially for Sam, and he was slouching on the couch in fresh clothes only ten minutes later. Matthew wasn’t hogging the console for once, so Sam tried to lose himself in Dungeon Era until Mika got home. Something must have finally clicked with his attention span, because before he knew it he’d cleared two floors of the tower, and the front door to the mansion was opening behind him. 

The game was abandoned instantly, and Sam practically vaulted over the back of the couch to meet her.

“Hi Sa-” Her greeting was cut off with a soft ‘oof’ when he pulled her into a bear hug. He found himself being squeezed back with surprising strength, though she gave it up after a moment and just started laughing into his chest. “Miss me, huh?”

Flustered, Sam moved back a bit to let her speak without it being muffled in his vest. “No- Wait, yes! I mean…” God _dammit_! 

At least she was laughing again. “It’s fine, I missed you too, you dork.” 

Sam was caught between his earlier stress, elation that she’d missed him, and offence at being called a dork. In the end, all that came out was, “Hey!”

She merely smiled at his outrage, and peered over his shoulder towards the living room. “Playing Dungeon Era without me, huh?” 

“Wha- Oh, yeah. Trying to… Doesn’t matter. Can we talk?” His hyperactive nervousness finally seemed to register with her, and she looked back to Sam in confusion and what looked like worry. He hadn’t meant to worry her! He was just no good at this stuff. The talking and serious shit.

“Um... Sure. My room?” He nodded quickly and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the staircase. 

*

She followed him without hesitation, all the way up to her bedroom. Mika was curious, and a little bit worried about what might be going on. Their lives lately hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing. When the door closed behind them, the first thing he did was kiss her. It was sudden, and she did hesitate then, surprised. It was a light kiss, but he was cupping her face between his hands in a way that made her feel like this was far more than a ‘hello’.

Loathe as she was to withdraw, he was starting to scare her, and she had to know what he was thinking. Her hands found their way to his upper arms, and she pushed him back gently, just enough for him to get the hint. When he broke the kiss, she didn’t let him go. 

“Sam? What’s going on?” She wondered if she sounded as worried to him as she did to herself.

“Nothing! I mean, I hope nothing.” His eyes were wide, searching hers for something he didn’t seem to find. She couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.

“Okay… It’s just, you’re kinda starting to scare me.” She wasn’t expecting the way Sam jumped back from her like he’d had an electric shock, staring at her in horror.

“Shit, no! _No!_ I wouldn’t ever hurt you!” 

Mika took a deep breath and stepped towards him, catching his face between her hands, the way he’d been touching her just a few moments ago. “I didn’t mean I’m scared _of_ you, Sam. You’re just acting like you’ve got some really bad news, and it’s making me nervous. That’s all.”

He blinked at her, then seemed to come back to himself and nodded slightly, letting out a sigh. “Right. Sorry. I guess I’m just wound a little tight.”

“No kidding,” she replied, making her tone dry enough to tease him, and cover the fact that she was actually still pretty nervous. “So. What’s up?”

Sam blushed. Mika didn’t have time to really wonder about it before he ducked his head, hiding his face. He wasn’t pulling away from her hands, but he couldn’t seem to look her in the eye either. Whatever he mumbled was barely audible, despite how close they were standing. “Sam, I can’t hear-”

“Condoms!” The startling outburst was followed by an even hotter blush from Sam, as he stumbled over his feet trying to back up a few steps. “We haven’t been using ‘em,” he muttered, trying to salvage his dignity even while he stared at the floor between them. “I didn’t think to ask, and then I remembered earlier, and I’ve been kicking myself like an idiot ever since.”

“Sam…”

“I’m still trying to get used to thinking like a human, alright? We have other things in the Demon World, and it didn’t occur to me, and I’m _sorry_ , _okay?!_ ” He was scrubbing his hand through his hair, like he always seemed to do when he was frustrated.

“Sam.” Mika spoke his name firmly, trying to get him to look at her, but he seemed to have more to say, even if his bluster was fading.

“It’s just, you’re still young! Hell, even I’m not that old for a demon! And if we… I never meant to risk… Well…” 

Giving up on words, Mika closed the distance between them and put one finger under his chin, gently lifting it so he had to look at her and give her his attention. If his expression hadn’t been so completely lost, she might have laughed at the situation. “Sam, I’m not pregnant. I’m on the Pill. Breathe.”

Several emotions ran across his face before Sam just… Slumped. He stayed on his feet, but his shoulders dropped, his eyes closed, and he let out a long, relieved breath. “Oh, thank fuck.”

A smile was forcing itself onto her lips as he opened his eyes again, and he saw it before she could hide it. “Hey! I’ve been worried all damn day!”

A little laugh hiccuped out before Mika could slap her hand over her mouth, and she looked back at him with what she hoped were wide, sympathetic eyes. His narrowed his in return. He wasn’t buying it, and gave her a solid shove backwards, carefully angled to land her on the bed, where she bounced with a laugh that finally broke free. 

“I’m sorry! I am!” Mika tried desperately to get her laughter back under control, but the more offended he looked, the funnier it became. “You were just so flustered - it was adorable!”

Sam looked positively outraged. “I’m not adorable! I’m manly as hell!”

Mika started laughing so hard, she couldn’t speak. 

Eventually Sam gave up, sitting down next to her with a long-suffering sigh. “Fine, well. At least you’re not mad at me, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” she gasped out. “Really. I think it’s because I got so tense waiting for you to tell me what’s wrong. I thought you were going to tell me you have to go back to the Abyssal Plains or something.” Still chuckling, but past the hysterical phase, she wiped her eyes so she could actually see him.

Sam’s grimace almost set her off again, but she managed to control it. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think that. I just didn’t know how to bring it up and stuff.” 

Mika moved to kneel by his side, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek that made him blush. “I know, and I’m sorry I laughed. You’re right that we should have talked about it.” If she hadn’t been so flushed from laughter, she might have been blushing too. “But just for the record, you can be both adorable _and_ manly as hell, okay?”

Apparently mollified, Sam turned his head towards her, close enough that their noses brushed together. “Fine,” he relented. “But just for you.”

Beaming, Mika closed the small gap and kissed him firmly. “Works for me.”

He was giving her that searching look again, and she decided to help him out this time, keeping her face straight and everything. “What else do you want to ask?”

His brow furrowed slightly in puzzlement. “I… What’s ‘the Pill’?”

Hoo boy. Mika sat back on her heels, trailing her hands over his shoulders until they settled on his arm while she thought about how to answer. “Well… Condoms are just one kind of contraception. They’re popular because they don’t involve messing with hormones, or much planning, and they protect your health as well as preventing pregnancy.” She was channeling her biology teacher, so sue her. “I figure… I mean, human illnesses aren’t likely to be a problem with you, right?” 

Silent, but completely attentive, Sam just shook his head.

“Right, well, the other most popular kinds of contraception are hormonal, they kind of trick your body into not setting itself up to get pregnant. There’s different ways of doing it, though; you can get a long-lasting injection, or a little implant that releases hormones over time. I take a pill every morning.” She shrugged, hoping that worked as a summary. It seemed to, because he was nodding like he understood.

“So that’s it, you take that every day and it’s all okay?” 

“Yeah. Well, it’s 99.9% reliable so I’m pretty confident. If I ever miss one I’d need to go to a clinic for Plan B, though.” At his confused look, she elaborated. “It’s a pill you can take afterwards, if you slip up. If plan A fails, you have plan B as a back up,” she explained the name with a grin. “Has to be within a couple of days. Or is it three now? Anyway, the sooner the better, really. How do demons do it?” Well, he’d made her curious.

Sam shrugged, far less interested by the methods he already knew about. “Oh, just a spell. It’s really common, minor magic, pretty much everyone can do it. The few that can’t use a potion, I think. Why did you choose the Pill? Why not something you don’t have to worry about every day?”

“Oh.” She finally found herself blushing, now that they were talking about her specific choices. “Well, the hormones don’t agree with everyone, some people have side effects. The injection can’t be undone, and an implant has to be taken out by a professional - it’s easier just to be able to stop taking a tablet. Plus there are different pills with different mixes, so if one doesn’t agree with you, or starts to become a problem, another one might work fine.” 

“You’ll tell me if it starts being a problem for you?” He frowned, and she recognised it as his ‘worried frown’. “Messing around with hormones sounds complicated.”

“It’s perfectly safe,” she assured him, still blushing faintly. “But I promise, if I start getting side effects or something, I’ll go to my doctor about other options, okay?”

That seemed to satisfy him, and he lay back across the bed, pulling her down into the crook of his shoulder with a heavy sigh. “Damn, what a day.” He was quiet for a few seconds, just relaxing after being wound up all afternoon, before finally blurting out, “Oh. Uh. How was yours?”

Biting her lip to keep a giggle at bay, Mika shifted to prop her head up so she could look down at him, a fond smile breaking through. “It was fine. I’m sorry you were so stressed out, though.” Maybe she should make it up to him? It was kinda her fault for not mentioning she was on the Pill, after all.

Trying not to think too hard, she ducked her head to kiss him. His hands slid into her hair almost immediately, betraying a gentleness that constantly surprised her when Sam let it show. He always focused on her needs so much, and it made her feel… Important. Special. She deepened the kiss in return, trying to go for the hard and passionate approach he seemed to like. It gives her brain less time to think, anyway. Not that she doesn’t _want_ Sam, she absolutely does, but she wants this time to be for him. An apology. A confirmation that even though she stresses him out, he gets good things from being with her too. Like…

She was overthinking. Sliding a hand down over his chest, Mika focused on the hard planes of muscle under his shirt. She loved the feel of his body, but still kinda wished he’d hurry up and enthrall her already. Maybe if she put her hand even lower, he might get the hint?

Sam caught her wrist and broke the kiss, sucking in a ragged breath. Uncertain what made him stop, Mika blinked down at him to see his ‘worried frown’ again. What was wrong? 

“Sam?” Oh, she hated that she sounded so weak, her voice trembling. Stop being such a cry baby, Mika, maybe he’s just not in the mood. _Right_ , a dark thought popped up in the back of her mind, _The sex demon’s not in the mood. Sure._

Sam, meanwhile, still seemed to be trying to find the words he wanted. Eventually he simply asked, “Are you okay?” 

“Wha... ? Me?” She smiled down at him, though it didn’t feel quite right. “I’m fine!” 

When she tried to kiss him again and end the conversation, Sam twisted, moving them so he was the one leaning over her. “Hey. Talk to me?”

She could feel panic rising in her chest and she wasn’t even sure why.

“I’m _fine_ , what’s wrong with you?” It came out snappier than she intended, and she inwardly flinched at his surprise. 

“Look, maybe we should just… I don’t know.” Sam sat back up, looking confused. “Just hang out tonight. Maybe?”

“I need to study, actually.” Mika wasn’t meeting his eyes, but she did sit up next to him, smoothing her hair down. “I got a lot of work assigned today and I’m still really behind.”

“Oh. Right. Okay.” Sam stood up, hands in his pockets as he stared at her like she was a complex puzzle. “I’ll come get you for dinner?”

“I’ll set my alarm,” Mika assured him breezily. “You don’t need to worry about it.” She gave him a smile that even she knew didn’t meet her eyes, and he didn’t look like he was buying it either. 

He did nod though. “Alright. I guess I’ll see you later.” 

“Sure!” She gave him a little wave, and kicked herself immediately. God, she looked stupid.

Still frowning, Sam left her alone and Mika pulled out her work. Something else to focus on besides the gnawing knot in her stomach sounded good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content note: There's a start towards more 'sex will fix everything' behaviour from Mika, but this time we're in _her_ head. It doesn't go all the way, but it was easily the hardest thing I've written so far and I'm using that as my measure when suggest you approach with caution if this kind of thing bothers you. If you want to skip that section entirely, simply stop reading this chapter when she kisses him on the bed (don't read the rest of that paragraph). Actual events will be summarized in the next chapter, so you won't miss out on story.
> 
> In lighter news, if you ask anyone but Sam, he is the real console hog of the house. Naturally, Sam doesn't see it that way.


	29. Wounds in the Mirror Waved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam gets some advice from someone who's a bit too familiar with this particular coping mechanism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Rearviewmirror” by Pearl Jam.
> 
> Sam thinks about, and very roughly explains, what happened at the end of the last chapter. Hopefully there's nothing that's more triggery than the fic in general, but I wanted you all to be aware.

Sam hadn’t been intending to talk any of this out. Not with anyone except Mika, anyway. He even tried to avoid Damien, though he knew his brother didn’t have to be in the same room to hear his thoughts. He just really hoped Damien wouldn’t try and make him talk about it - or worse, go to Mika about it.

Thing was, Sam still wasn’t sure what had happened, not really. They’d been fine, talked out the contraception stuff - thinking about that was still kind of embarrassing, if not his priority anymore - but then she’d kissed him and something had just felt… Off. He didn’t know what, exactly, but Sam always listened to his instincts. He’d been reminded, inexplicably, of the rushed blowjob she’d given him the day before and suddenly it all just felt wrong.

So he’d stopped it. He’d just wanted to talk, but she’d nearly bitten his head off when he asked her what was wrong, then given him a smile even he was smart enough to see through. Instead of being willing to talk to him, she’d said she needed to study. Sure, she’d been worried about getting her work done lately, but he was sure it was just an excuse this time.

He’d left her to it, though, figuring she needed some space. Maybe something _had_ happened at school today?

Ugh, he hated this. What wasn’t he seeing? He was sure James would know what to do in this situation. Damien definitely would. Matthew probably wouldn’t even notice and just carry on bouncing off the walls like a-

“My, my, you’re going to strip the marble off the floor if you keep glaring at it like that.” 

Sam jumped at Erik’s voice, so much that his feet actually left the floor for a split second.

“Dammit, Erik!”

His brother simply smirked, though when he realised Sam wasn’t lightening up, it faded into a concerned moue. “Haven’t you talked to her yet?”

Wait how did he- Ohh, right, condoms and stuff. “Oh, yeah. No, that’s fine. Nothing to worry about.” Sam hadn’t stopped frowning, but as he looked at Erik, it occurred to him that, when it came to sex, he could do worse than to ask the one who’d been trained to be the perfect incubus. He didn’t usually make Sam feel quite as stupid as James did, either.

Screw it. He was going for it. “Hey, you busy right now?”

If Erik was surprised, he was hiding it well. “Not with anything that can’t wait.” 

“Right.” Sam looked around to make sure they were alone, not that he really wanted to have this conversation in the lobby. 

“Shall we find some privacy?” Erik’s lightly phrased question was followed by a gesture towards the study. Thankfully, the room was indeed empty when they stepped inside.

Somehow Erik managed to look refined, even when he was leaning on the furniture, as demonstrated when he propped his shoulder against the bookcase. “So, Sam. What has happened?” 

Sam could almost hear the unspoken ‘this time?’ in Erik’s voice, but thankfully his brother was smarter than to actually say it out loud. He was trying, dammit, and he’d fix this problem, too. ...Just as soon as he figured out what was wrong.

“I don’t... Right, you gotta swear you won’t say anything to the others! Don’t think about it around Damien, nothing, okay?” The seriousness in Sam’s tone seemed to get through, and Erik relaxed a little. For most people, relaxed meant, well, relaxed. For Erik, it meant he wasn’t putting on a front.

“I won’t.” Sam trusted his word. “Is this about the princess?” 

“Yeah.” Scrubbing his hand roughly through his hair, he tried to figure out where to start. “I think there’s something wrong, but she won’t tell me.”

Erik nodded, paying close attention. It almost made Sam uncomfortable, but at least he was being taken seriously.

“I just…” Sam cursed under his breath. How did he put this. “It’s nothing specific, it’s just this feeling. I know, it’s stupid, but-”

“Sam.” The interruption was surprisingly gentle. “It’s not stupid to listen to your instincts when you care about someone. What happened?”

His cheeks got hot, but Sam tried to ignore it. He needed someone who knew what the hell they were doing to give him advice, and this was the best chance he was going to get. “It’s just… Sometimes she gets really rushed.” His gaze was focused firmly on the corner of the rug. “Well, it’s happened twice, I guess. It’s like. It’s not me-and-her, it’s... Like she doesn’t even want me to touch her, she just… It’s not some weird enthrallment thing,” he added quickly. “I didn’t get that far. It’s like she gets focused on what she’s doing, but at the same time… I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel right.”

He snuck a glance at Erik, expecting to see a smirk or an eyeroll. While that would have pissed him off, Erik’s frown hit him far harder. So this _wasn’t_ normal?

“This… Thing that you say is happening, is there a specific catalyst?” At Sam’s confused expression, Erik clarified, “Is there something in particular that happens before this change in her behaviour?”

Sam tried to think back, scrambling to remember if it was something he’d done or said. “I don’t… The first time was yesterday afternoon, after we talked and I said I was sorry for being a dick. Then today, when I asked her about… Well, you know. After we talked about that stuff.”

Erik had pressed his lips together, thinking hard. “Did she seem under particular stress today?”

“Nah, it was me that was spinning out. She just laughed,” Sam replied with a shake of his head. He wasn’t prepared for the sudden look of interest from Erik. What had he said?

“So _you_ were under stress?” He seemed to be on to _something_ , but Sam had no idea what.

“Well, I guess. I’d calmed down after we talked.” He shrugged. “We were okay. Yesterday, too, we’d made up.” Well, _he’d_ made up with her, he’d been the idiot, but still.

“Sam.” Erik hesitated, looking thoughtful. “Knowing Mika as you do, would you say she thought she had been the cause of your unhappiness?” 

Now he was confused again. “What? How was any of it her fault?”

“Did she apologise to you?” Erik asked carefully.

“N- Well, she said sorry for laughing. And about Damien.” Sam frowned. “Does that mean anything?”

“It may.” It was Erik’s turn to stare at the floor. “Forgive me, but it is difficult to live here and not notice that our princess has rather less faith in herself than she seemed to at our first meeting.” A very quick glance up caught Sam’s eye before looking away again. “Is it possible that she’s worried you could lose interest in her?”

Sam’s mouth hung open. “Seriously? I’ve told her I… She knows demons don’t just go around…” He growled in frustration, fingers lifting to tug through his already messy hair again. “Why would she _think_ that?”

“I’m merely speculating,” Erik began, still avoiding any eye contact, “But perhaps she has trouble believing that she is enough, under the well-groomed CEO candidate, to hold the attention of an incubus. Especially through times of adversity. Trying to focus on your needs may be her way of… Apologising. That she rushes is likely down to inexperience.”

He was staring, he knew, but Sam wasn’t sure what to say. He _wanted_ to say that had to be a load of crap! Mika was brilliant, and amazing, and hell, she had the backbone to stand up to almost anyone. Plus, she was a kick-ass partner in Dungeon Era. Why the hell would he lose interest? But…

But.

“She hates feeling like she screwed up,” he muttered, without even realising he’d decided to say anything. His hands dug deep into his pockets. “She feels like she’s gotta be able to handle everything the right way.”

“She feels like even slipping on one thing could bring everything crashing down?” Erik gave him a half-smile that left Sam feeling deeply uncomfortable, though he wasn’t sure why. “She has to be perfect, or she’s not worth anything at all?”

“I...It’s bullshit, but yeah, that sounds about right.” His head tipped back with a groan as he realised something. “Shit, when I stopped her she probably took that as rejection. No wonder she was pissed.”

Erik looked surprised, then approving at Sam’s insight. “Possibly.” 

Sam just wanted to punch something. Possibly himself. “What can I do to convince her I meant it when I… What can I do?”

Erik was looking down at the floor again, with a thoughtful expression this time. “Well, you are an incubus. If she’s trying to use sex to compensate,” he thankfully didn’t seem to notice Sam’s blush, “It’s probably because she thinks that’s what you want most. Perhaps take that off the table for a while.”

The idea wasn’t a bad one, even Sam could see that, but there was one problem. “How will that help? If she feels like I rejected her already?” 

“You’ll have to make it clear to her it’s not that you don’t want her. Tell her you want to do more things together outside of the bedroom, that you enjoy simply spending time with her.” Erik looked up at Sam properly, way too pleased with himself for anyone else’s comfort. “You should ask her on a date!”

“A… Date? Like, dinner and a movie?” Sam was skeptical. Well, okay, taking her somewhere she liked and seeing her enjoy herself _did_ sound good, but a date? Didn’t that usually come before falling in love?

“If you want to be traditional, that could work, but it doesn’t have to be a movie. You could take her out for dinner and a play, or go dancing, or to an art gallery. Well, perhaps not,” Erik corrected himself, looking Sam up and down. “Though that’s not a bad idea for an afternoon outing. I may suggest that to Irene the next time I see her.”

Ordinarily, Sam would love to tease his brother about Irene, but in the circumstances it seemed kind of a dick move. So he kept his mouth shut, on that at least. 

“Maybe dinner,” he agreed uncertainly. “Have we got much money left?” They’d had some ready money when they went travelling, and had saved as much of it as they could after Harold had died, uncertain when they’d get more. They should still have some of it left, though.

“Well,” Erik grimaced slightly. “I did spend some of it on a gift for Mika. I haven’t given it to her yet - though a date would be perfect timing!” He added brightly. “There should be enough left in the account for the two of you to have a lovely meal somewhere, though.”

“Should I really be using it for that?” Sam was wary of depleting their funds before they had a way of making more.

“I have a feeling we can spare it.” Erik was doing that enigmatic smile thing that Sam hated. He tried to ignore it.

“Right. Well. I guess I could ask her then.” He looked up at the ceiling, even though Mika’s room was on the other side of the house. “She said she was going to study ‘til dinner though. Think I should leave it until later?”

“Giving her some time to calm any hurt feelings might be a good idea,” Erik agreed. “You could use that time to decide exactly what kind of date you want to ask her on.”

Great. More stuff he was useless at. Sam sighed heavily. It was for Mika, right? He’d try.

***

Mika came downstairs for dinner, but was only just animated enough to keep the others from outright worrying. When Damien quietly asked if she was okay, she just smiled and said she was thinking about an assignment she had due. Even as she felt terrible for lying to him, she didn’t feel like she had much choice, and prayed he wouldn’t push. He seemed to realise she wasn’t in a talkative mood, though, and let her finish her meal in peace. 

Matthew had cooked, and when he explained that he’d tried a new recipe, she made sure to compliment him on his efforts. He beamed, even when she didn’t follow up with questions or suggestions for him, like she usually did. At least she could make someone happy.

Avoiding Damien’s too-knowing gaze, she excused herself as soon as dinner was over, and went back up to her room. She really was starting to worry about how behind she was with her planned study schedule. Oh, she wasn’t really _behind_ when it came to school, but she needed to be doing better than the bare minimum. Her GPA was 4.0, and she was determined not to let it slip before she graduated. 

It didn’t help that her concentration just wasn’t there. Her mind was constantly wandering lately, and tonight was even worse than usual. When she tried to read for history, she had to go back to the beginning of the chapter three times, which was extremely frustrating. It wasn’t even as if there was one thing in particular on her mind! Sometimes she thought about Sam, and what happened earlier, but she kept pushing that away. It didn’t always work, but when it did, other things would pop up instead. Where did she put that pair of shoes she’d worn to her father’s Christmas party? She hadn’t sat down and read with Damien again, like she’d said she would. When was Suzu’s next soccer match, again? Was that a bug on her wall or just a weird shadow? 

After determining the dark shape was indeed a shadow, Mika flopped down on her bed and buried her face in a pillow to muffle her frustrated shout. _Why_ couldn’t she focus? Even when things were really tense back home, she’d always been able to lose herself in work. Well, maybe not _always_ , but…

She screamed into the pillow again, then sat up and threw it across the room. It didn’t make her feel better, but it did make her think about Suzu. Maybe she could at least find out when that soccer game was. Where was her phone again?

After an hour of being distracted on Facebook, Mika had completely forgotten about her intention to text Suzu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In real life, noticing and identifying this kind of behaviour is rarely this fast. I'm kind of relying on Sam's incubus instincts and Erik's own experiences to make sense of this before it becomes a harmful pattern, but that doesn't mean non-fictional people will see things right away. No one should feel guilty for not seeing it immediately, the real world is messy.
> 
> Speaking of real life... Mine has hit an interesting bump. Might be longer than two days before I can update again, but I promise I will. <3


	30. Find Those People Who Are Strong Enough to Help You Get Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika realises that her old friends can still listen to her troubles, even if she can't tell them all the details, and finds that she can still learn new things about them after all these years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Lies and Bruises” by Ryan Daniel.

“You know, you’ve been kinda quiet today.” 

Mika looked up at Naomi, hands still moving as she went through the first aid kit on autopilot. She was used to this routine, checking everything was stocked and that it was in its proper place. She could almost have done it with her eyes closed.

She and Naomi had picked sports medicine as an extracurricular while Suzu devoted herself to soccer. They’d figured that if Suzu was going to get herself banged up so often in practice, the least they could do was learn how to patch her back together, and it gave Mika a responsible-looking activity to add to her college applications. Sometimes, it also served as a way for Naomi to bring up more serious subjects in relative privacy. Today was apparently one of those days.

“Have I?” Mika frowned and looked back down at what she was doing. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be.”

Naomi was watching her with her trademark Look, the one that meant she knew Mika too well to be brushed off. “You were quiet yesterday, too. Is everything alright?” 

This time, Mika sighed and gave her friend a shrug. After debating with herself, she decided to open up. About some of it, at least. “If I ask you something, will you give me an honest answer?”

Her friend stood up a little straighter, nodding earnestly as she agreed without hesitation. “Of course! What’s the matter?”

Frowning down at the kit, Mika tried to push away her discomfort with the conversation she’d begun. If she couldn’t talk to her oldest friends about it, who could she talk to? Well, she could talk to Naomi, anyway. Suzu would almost certainly just be aggressively positive at her over something like this, and Mika needed a reality check more than a pep rally.

So she should stop procrastinating.

“Do you think I take too much on?” 

She didn’t realise she’d been expecting Naomi’s immediate reassurance, until her question was met with silence. She counted out the antiseptic wipes while she waited, trying to remember to breathe through the suddenly thick air.

“Well… A lot of people call me an overachiever,” Naomi began, carefully, “And you do more than me. Senior year’s the toughest of all, are you having trouble keeping up?”

Mika flinched at the suggestion. “No! No, nothing like that.” She tried not to think about how she still wasn’t fully caught up on her personal study plan. 

Before she could say anything else, Naomi asked her a question that made her freeze up completely. “Is it your dad? Is he trying to get you to work with the company before you’ve even graduated?”

There was silence again. Mika realised she’d sat down. She sort of remembered doing it, but not actually deciding to do it. Naomi’s voice was soft in her ear trying to guide her to take slower, deeper breaths. Why? She was fine, she’d just sat down for a moment, that’s all. A moment of dizziness? She’d eaten breakfast this morning, she should be fine.

It was another few seconds before she realised that Naomi’s voice seemed so quiet because of the harsh sound of her own breathing, and the rushing in her ears. How was it possible to be hyperventilating and not even realise it? Well, it wasn’t quite proper hyperventilation, not yet, but it probably would be if not for Naomi’s quick thinking.

Blushing a deep crimson, Mika tried to hide her face behind her hands, only to have her friend pull them away. She was gentle, but her voice was worried.

“Don’t cover your mouth, you need to breathe. Are you with me?”

Mika nodded mutely. At a loss for what to say, she simply listened as Naomi talked her down from the adrenaline spike, and focused on getting her breathing back to normal. Inhale. Exhale. Come on, Mika, babies can do this.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” The gentle rebuke let Mika know she’d spoken aloud. “When was the last time you had a proper rest?” 

She tried to make a joke out of it. “Does sex count?”

Naomi’s choked noise made Mika look up, and she realised too late what she’d said. Both of them were blushing hard enough to burst something, and Mika tried to stammer an apology, but Naomi had other priorities. 

“Who?! Oh, no, it’s one of your grandfather’s servants isn’t it?” Despite her words, Naomi was trying to hide a smile as she fanned her hands over her flushed cheeks, trying in vain to cool them.

“Why, oh no? I thought you and Suzu liked them!” Mika was avoiding the real questions, yep.

Naomi rushed to reassure her. “I do! I just… It’s only been a couple of weeks. They haven’t been pushy with you, have they?”

“Uh, just the one, thanks. And no, he hasn’t.” The memory of him turning her down the night before pushed itself into her mind, and she tried to shove it back down. It wasn’t a helpful thing to think about right now. Sam had asked to spend time with him after dinner, but she’d just gone to bed with a headache and a textbook. Thinking back, he’d looked almost upset about it. As upset as Sam got, which mostly meant a frown directed at the floor, but...

“Uh, Mika?” She blinked rapidly up at Naomi’s amused expression. “I was asking which one is it?”

“Oh, uh. Sam.” At her friend’s furrowed brow, Mika felt herself smiling a little. “The one who was in green when you first met him.”

“Oh! Right!” Naomi cleared her throat. “I only remember a couple of their names I’m afraid, I didn’t get to talk to them much.” 

“It’s okay, you haven’t really had much time. You should come over this weekend.” The offer was out before Mika could rethink it. “Suzu, too. I think you’d both get on with them.”

“I’d like that.” Mika watched her friend tuck some hair behind her ear as her expression grew more serious. “So… Is it Sam who thinks you do too much?”

Mika felt sick, but forced herself to answer with a slow shake of her head. He had seemed kind of surprised by all her studying, but he hadn’t said anything about her doing less or… The other thing. “James said something.” 

Naomi nodded, confirming that James was one of the two names she remembered. Mika wasn’t surprised, he did tend to draw people’s attention.

“He… He thinks I’m too stressed out.” Naomi didn’t know about Malix, or Diana, or any of that. She’d just say they were seniors and it came with the territory, and she wasn’t wrong. The other stuff was behind them now, and-

“Well… Yes. Why do you think Suzu and I always tried to get you out of the house at least once every weekend?” Mika blinked at her stupidly. “Then with your grandfather dying, when he obviously meant so much to you, and now suddenly living alone… I know you have the servants-”

“The boys,” Mika whispered. “I don’t… I don’t like calling them servants.”

“The boys,” Naomi corrected herself easily, “But it’s not the same as being at home, and moving is stressful! Then your dad making you have that party…”

For the first time, Mika detected something hard in Naomi’s voice at the mention of David Anderson. A shivering cold crept over her, despite the relatively mild weather, and she wrapped her arms around herself. Nothing about this conversation was going the way she’d planned.

“What did James say, exactly?” Of course Naomi had to ask.

“He… He suggested I see a therapist.” At the time, she’d been insulted. She had her problems, sure, but she hadn’t been through some great trauma; she’d never wanted for food or shelter. What right did she have to complain? Why would James think she’d need someone to hold her hand just to handle her grandfather’s passing? Lots of people her age had lost a grandparent! Some people she knew didn’t have any left, but her mom’s parents were still alive. They lived across the country, sure, but they were there!

Naomi sat down next to her, and Mika screwed her face up, ready to try and laugh it off, but was knocked off balance by the confession that followed.

“I saw a therapist once.” Mika looked up at her friend, staring in shock, trying to figure out if she’d really heard that. “Do you remember, the last year of middle school, when my aunt got cancer?”

This was really happening. Mika just nodded, lost for words. Yes, she remembered. She’d made food with her mom to take to the Pattersons, to help them out.

“Well, I… I didn’t tell you, but I had a lot of nightmares after she died. I couldn’t shake the thought I’d lose mom the same way.” Mika reached out to take her hand, and Naomi took it with a bit of a smile. “I’m okay now. I was embarrassed when mom suggested it, but I’m really glad I went. It was really helpful to talk to someone who could listen without getting upset, or judging me. Honestly? I think it might help you, too. I think you’ve had to deal with more than you realise.”

Unsure what to say, Mika just squeezed her friend’s hand. Knowing that Naomi had been through this process did make it seem less… Distant. Less unknown, and, if she was honest with herself, less scary. But did she really need something like this? Wasn’t she just whining that her life wasn’t perfect?

“You could try meeting someone, anyway. If it’s not for you, nothing says you have to go back.” It was a good, sensible suggestion. Mika wondered if that’s how Naomi’s mom had got her to go back in middle school. 

She took a deep breath, and let it out with a sigh. “Alright. I’ll think about it.”

Naomi gave her a huge smile and pulled her into a hug. “That’s all I can ask.”

“We should finish up,” Mika mumbled back, though she returned the hug with a strong squeeze.

She felt Naomi squeeze back. “Sure. Do you want me to get you some water or something?” 

Mika smiled and shook her head, letting go so they could stand up and get back to work. “No. I just want to think about this for a while.”

“I understand.” Naomi started straightening up the shelves, then peeked back over her shoulder at Mika. “Does that mean I can’t ask anything else about Sam?”

Startled at the question, Mika let out a short laugh. “Let’s wait until Suzu’s free? She’s going to kill me for telling you first, as it is.”

***

The conversation had been turning over in her mind for the rest of the afternoon, and by the time she got home, Mika had managed to gather her courage for the conversation ahead. 

However, the first thing she heard when she opened the door, was a loud protest from Matthew. 

“That’s not fair!”

She couldn’t make out the reply, though she recognised Sam’s voice and it drew her towards the living room. He didn’t seem to be fighting - he wasn’t shouting back, anyway - but from the way Matthew cradled a controller against his chest, it was a safe bet that whatever the specifics were, they were arguing about video games again.

Sam realised she was there, and stood up straighter as he met her eyes. “Oh, hey.” Was it her imagination, or did he seem tense? Matthew looked over the back of the couch towards her, and Mika gave them both a smile, hoping they wouldn’t pull her into the argument this time. She just didn’t have the mental energy.

“Matthew was just finishing,” the glare from his younger brother made Sam’s lie clear, but the look he gave in return surprised her. Rather than challenging and demanding he be allowed to take over, Sam seemed to be pleading with Matthew to give in. What on earth was going on?

“I… Maybe? I need to talk to James about something first, though,” Mika hedged, trying not to notice Sam’s obvious curiosity about that. “How about we let Matthew finish what he was doing, and I’ll come back when we’re done?”

Diplomacy worked. Matthew beamed at her and returned to his game, and Sam seemed to relax. “Okay, sure. See you in a few.” With Matthew’s attention elsewhere, Sam gave Mika a softer smile, the kind she only usually saw from him in private, and she felt her knees go weak. 

James. Right, she needed to talk to James. Swooning over Sam wouldn’t help with that. 

Mika was pretty sure she stammered over her words when she promised she’d be right back, and she almost ran towards the library. It was the obvious place to start looking, but it was empty. The kitchen was next, though that was also a dead-end, but when she tried the study she found Damien writing at the desk. 

He looked up when she walked in, but before she could ask what he was doing, or offer help, he gave her a gentle smile and simply said, “He’s in the garden.” Realising Damien knew who she was looking for, and why, she could feel her cheeks heating up. “Don’t be embarrassed. You deserve to be happy, and if this helps, then it’s a good thing.”

Damien always knew what to say to make everything seem so much easier. Ignoring her earlier need to rush, Mika didn’t leave just yet; instead, she crossed the room to give him a hug. From his side, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and made sure to turn her head away from the desk so she wouldn’t see anything he wasn’t ready to show her.

“Thank you, but you can look.” She could almost hear the frown in his voice, his doubt of his own ability, but she accepted the invitation to see what he’d been doing. Most of the alphabet was written across the page. Lower-case letters sat beside their capital counterparts, all shaky lines and uncertain shapes, but though some of them were harder to make out than others, she could read each one. Following a spontaneous idea, she picked up the pencil he’d been using and printed his name clearly in the top corner of the page. 

He leaned over the desk to examine and sound out the letters. “D-a-m-i-” Pausing, he looked up at her. “Damien? My name?” 

“Yeah. That’s the first thing a lot of people learn to write. Their own name. I thought you might want to know how.” Damien’s bright smile brought out her own in return.

“I’ll practice it,” he promised, taking the pencil back so he could do just that. “You were looking for James, though.”

His prompt reminded her why she had been looking for James, but it didn’t seem like such a scary thing anymore. Perhaps more of the conversation with Naomi was sinking in, or perhaps it was because Damien treated it as such a simple thing. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Maybe.

“You’re right.” She dropped a kiss on top of Damien’s head before stepping away. “Is he still in the garden?” 

Damien nodded, and his warm smile stayed with her as she headed for the back door, giving her confidence to see this through. After all, if he could accept her help with his most hated weakness - which is how he seemed to feel about being unable to read or write - and smile about it, maybe this didn’t have to be the big deal she was making it out to be.

The sun was still lovely and warm, and Mika realised she shouldn’t be surprised that James was outside. It was the perfect weather for early summer gardening. Or did this still count as spring? Whatever the season, James was focused enough on his work not to notice her at first, which gave her the welcome chance to clear the tension from her throat with a cough, and make it seem natural.

James startled and almost dropped the pruning shears he was holding. “Oh! I’m so sorry, miss, I didn’t see you there. I suppose I lost track of time.” He gave her an apologetic smile. “You’re probably here to ask about dinner, aren’t you?

Mika reached out and lay her hand on his forearm before he could turn away. “James, wait?”

A quick blink betrayed his surprise, but his smile seemed pleased. They’d not spoken since yesterday morning. “Yes, miss?”

“Do you still have that list?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! NaNo has begun and I've not finished this yet. I'm annoyed with myself, but life happened, and here we are.
> 
> I had planned on concentrating only on NaNo in November, but I don't want to leave you all hanging for a month. So, here's what I'm going to do. Updates will continue on Blown Away, but they will come much slower, because I'll only be working on it in breaks, to keep words coming when I get blocked on the new fic, etc. If I do hit 50k early (quite possible, if I get into the flow) I'll switch back to Blown Away and finish it off before writing more of the new one. I hope you'll all forgive me, and I should I have something fun to post at the end of November to show for all of this. <3


End file.
